... It was the worst of times.

I got shown the straight red for the first (and hopefully last) time yesterday.

The team was full of pricks. cheap shots when the ref wasn't looking, kicking while I was down, stepping on legs, and shouting random insults like assholes do.

That and a frustrating day didn't combine well, so when one of my teammates fired a long ball for me and it was one on one with the goalie, I tripped, and instead of avoiding the goalie like I should have (and could have) done, I went into his side with both knees.

Note from the future: I didn't actually have to serve the mandatory suspension, turns out they gave it to the wrong person, somehow. I played the next game, and the guy who was actually given the suspension didn't end up showing up anyways. Not bad.

It was the best of times...

Tonight was one of those games where you just feel you can play well for the rest of the games in your life.

I was supposed to have an outdoor mens game, but the lack of a ref and a double booked field quickly put a stop to that one. Carissa, my great friend dating back to elementary school, and I had arranged a wacky plan for her to use my car to get her stuff before our co-ed game, but seeing as it was canceled we just ended up hanging out at Stephen's pad for a while. Enter the penis jokes. On our way out of Stephens, we heard some guy screaming jibberish out of his window onto his cellphone. We made a lot of fun of that guy.

Carissa and I then went to our co-ed indoor game, which we lost 5-3. However bad that sounds, I don't mind because I scored all three of our goals. The first was a rebound volley, the second was a penalty kick after the goalie fouled me as I just about tapped one in (the penalty kick was a screamer too, I fired it as hard as I could kick the thing and hit the right post and it went in), and the third was a give and go followed by a left footed instep shot, which I can't do at the best of times while practicing.

I'm glad I played well as it was in front of one my my former high school teammates who had the next game. I've improved a ton since then, three years ago I was toe-punting, getting do-daddled, and downright sucking. Now I'd like to think I'm not half bad. I've still got a ways to go, though.

Tomorrow I've a mens indoor game. Should be interesting, I think. I should stop listening to A Flock of Seagulls and go to bed.

Euro FC - The reason for a lot of things

Wednesday, I had an indoor mens game against the top team, the Gunners.

It hit me during the game that I had played against the outdoor contingent of this team last year, and my then-team, Euro FC, which really, really sucked, got beaten 8-1 or something like that. Our one goal came from a penalty shot, and as I ran in for the rebound, some asshole tripped me.

I played against that asshole tonight. Him and his team were good, but at one point we were up 5-2, somehow. We ended up drawing that game 5-5, to a penalty shot. I'd have really liked to
beat them though. Next time. Maybe.

We played really well, and I almost assisted a few sitters that should have been shot on target. Ah well. We played excellently, the best I've seen from the mens team.

Thursday I played tons of dodgeball. Friday was a day off as my legs were killing me, and today was supposed to be a practice day until the forecast called for thundershowers and hail.

But anyway, back to Euro FC. We'd frequently play games with 7-9 in the squad, there was no commitment. And when there was enough commitment to get enough players to play, we'd have half a team of overweight Portuguese thinking they were Cristiano Ronaldo which they tried to take it up and score all by themselves. Needless to say, they never did. And when I was hit with a season-ending injury in the form of a calf contusion, I hadn't heard much of them, except, oddly enough, seeing them around every once-in-a-while.



Most recently they tried to kick my co-ed team (who had a permit) off a field.

The funniest of stories is about one of the Portuguese guys who lost his player card. He checked in the box of cards, and couldn't find it. The Portuguese captain told him to check his car, so he gave him his keys, and he did.

He came back looking like a troubled elementary school child, and proceeded to tell the captain that he busted the back window of the Captain's fairly new SUV by throwing his keys at it.

And then, upon further inspection, he found his player card in the box that we keep our player cards in, mixed in with a few others.

Take a bow, Dwayne Rewniak

Derek will understand that one.

Had a mens league game tonight that we lost 3-1. I played striker, center mid, and right wing, and lacked any sort of service, except for a foul in the box that the ref didn't see. Ahh well. My team did play better in the second half, but we didn't take the time to formulate an attack, ever. We always counter attack, but it's too slow, and we end up having to play tight 3 on 5's with nobody coming to help.

I still need to find a good position for myself. I'm alright at striker, but I think central attacking midfielder is the way to go for me. I really love assisting, and I like to defend more than when I can playing as a striker. Derek agrees with me on that one, however Jay thinks I'd make a better winger. I also don't mind center defensive mid, because I'm not half bad at distributing the ball with a team that provides movement.


I suppose I should play on my strengths, which are speed, crossing, endurance, passing, positioning, and control.

My weakness are my left foot, holding off defenders, and headers. I'm working on all of that though.

My left foot drill is wall passing, and wall headers. Sometimes I'll do partner drills when I can find one.

As for using strength, it's hard because I had never really been brought up playing soccer - I just got into it a couple years ago, so nobody really ever taught me how to run against somebody with the ball.

A few more days late...

So Sunday I ran that partial marathon.

It was pretty funny. I was told to be at my checkpoint at 10:30, 11:00 at the latest. I arrived at 10:15 or so, and two minutes later I was passed the baton, figuratively, which was actually an anklet with some sort of chip for timing on it. I found out that the best part of marathons are the sponges they hand you as you run. I managed to run the whole 6 miles with one walk over a bridge and a short stop for shin-relief (I was wearing an old pair of indoor shoes, make note that this is a bad idea on nothing but concrete). I was running REALLY fast for the distance I had to go, and I literally could no slow myself down. I did pretty well for my team, we ran the total 26.2 miles in four hours and 31 seconds and were 215/699. I passed a lot of people too. I kinda wished I had trained. I really wished I could've shaved off that last half minute, but oh well. I took 50 minutes to run my section.

I had a co-ed outdoor game later that day, and we lost 4-3. I scored a beautiful goal in it, so I was pleased, in spite of how tired I was. I also got flattened and scrapped the spot just to the right of my eye pretty badly, and when I got up, I told the guy to "take it easy", and he started yelling at me. The team was particularly rough, and I'm pretty sure we'll face them again.

Monday we had outdoor and indoor co-ed games, and my legs were dead. I really should've trained for that marathon. I played net the first half of the outdoor game, then had a nice assist from a corner kick that Stephen headed in. We won 4-1. Earlier that day, I got invited to play on that same team (They're called My Left Foot) in the summer season by one of the girls I work with. There's an insanely good, but old French man on that team, and I hope I can pick up a lot from him.

The indoor game was a 2-1 loss that I scored a goal in. It was sloppy, but we deserved it. We had tons of possession, and played very well.

A couple days late, but...

We got smashed 5-0 last game against a team where we only put one shot on target, and that was mine that just about squirted through the keeper's legs. They had a good defense. I did enjoy the amount of slide tackling I got to do though, that was good fun.

Friday was a lazy day, tomorrow I'm going for 18 of golf with a pal and her dad at a fancy "collared shirts only" place. That oughta be fun. Sunday, I have a relay marathon to do (that I sorta forgot about), and then an outdoor co-ed game. Monday, an outdoor co-ed game and an indoor co-ed game.

Should be a slice.

I'm not a fan of rough teams

Until I realize I ought to get rough back.

I had a rough one tonight, and boy, it was not pretty near the end. I got up-ended twice, once that I was carded for. I'm not even going to get into how horribly wrong the call itself was, but it's hard being a ref with no assistants, I suppose.

We lost 3-2, and I knew two people on that team. One of them surely has a different opinion of me, but I don't really care. I gave him a nice hard tackle, but that's his problem for having brutes for teammates. What I would give to play every match against a team that isn't full of my town's best hardmen. Now, I'm not sure which clip to throw in here, but it was nothing like this or this.

It was more of less slower older guys shoulder-to-shouldering while not playing the ball.

In the second half, we turned it up well, I scored a goal and was partially responsible for the second.

The first was a lovely cracker of a right footed shot that beat an outstretched leg of a defender on my left for about 16 yards out and then went into the goalie's right side-netting.

The second, I took a long free kick in and we got fouled. Then I let another guy on our team take it at the top of the 18, and I got in their wall and pushed it to the left. The ball almost hit me in the face when I started leaning, but I leaned and leaned and it was a nice fast shot that went in.

Their third goal was class, but I can still see that mens team improving. We played great in the second half, we really turned it up and found a good old negative football/counterattacking niche. I got a lot of exercise playing a center attacking mid role, which was nice. I was sluggish at first because I had greasy pizza for supper, but then I shrugged it off. I had a good game, and it was nice to start slide tackling at the end of the game.


Tip of the day; Don't eat grease before a game.

Hilarity ensues

I have been so incredibly busy lately, unfortunately not all of it with soccer. I've been slacking off, the only soccer I've had was yesterday, when I had a short and small practice with some of my men's team and an indoor and outdoor game with my co-ed team. I think the rest may've been good for me, though, because in the outdoor game I popped in five and in the indoor team I scored a couple.

The outdoor team we played were very good sports, we won 7-1 or something like that and we tied 4-4 in indoor. I tried to take it easy on the outdoor team we played against closer to the end, and one of my shots that was supposed to go over just chipped the goalie. I felt kinda bad because of it. I've been beaten like that before and sometimes it just drains the fun out of the game. Jay told me to always aim to shoot over from now on, in order to score goals in other games. I'll have to give it a shot.

Both of my goals were full of follies in the indoor game. The first, I meant to cross the ball in, and was up against the boards. I crossed it, but the ball was amazingly off-balanced, and ended up skipping along the boards until it rolls in behind a goalie who was prepared for the cross.

But second goal was possibly funnier. In the arena that my team plays in, the nets are freestanding in relation to the boards, and they're a large 60 pound metal frame covered with a canvas as the actual net. Their goalie received a pass and so I sprinted at him to put on pressure as we were down a goal. I lifted my left leg as he got rid of it, and it bounced off my leg and towards the net. He raced back to his net and I raced to the ball, and I shot it at a moderate speed. It went in, but he managed to paw it just after it crossed the line, and throw it out, behind him.

That's not the end of it though. This guy was hauling ass, and continued into the canvas cover. He knocked the entire thing over and flew backwards with it, landing on the concrete in a Chaplin-esque way. I felt a bit bad up until then, but I heard no whistle for the goal (the ref was probably too shocked) and the ball popped back out to me while I was was standing there in awe. I really badly wanted to tie the game, so I slotted the ball through the spot where the net and goalie were not moments ago.

On a lesser scale, it was something akin to the picture shown.

Fortunately the ref didn't miss the original goal and whistle down the play after the guy careened into the net.

At another point in the game, I very badly doo-daddled a guy trying to clear the ball using a roulette. Unfortunately I missed the shot.


Which actually brings me to another point. What if I had scored that goal? The entire game from then on would've changed, they may have scored a winner, we could have done the same, but the entire rest of the game would've been different. Maybe one of the players could've been hurt badly, or maybe something weirder than the net crash would've happened. Isn't it strange that a missed call, missed shot, or otherwise stoppage could affect the outcome of the game completely if handled even slightly differently?

As much of a loser as I must sound like, that's part of the game's mystique, and I like to think that's pretty cool.

Thursday night dodgeball

I played another hour of dodgeball today, then used the other half of the gym to work on passing a rolling ball into a net, which was very much needed.

I realized today that my job as a referee is much greater than I though it to be. I suppose the fact that I labeled it as work just made me automatically dislike it.

Or maybe it was the 40 minute drive.

Either way, I get there and usually have a pretty good time. I'm on a first name basis with a ton of the players.

An articulate blackout

Today I decided to assist in the sure-win game which we won 3-1 (co-ed outdoor), and then tag along for the last fifteen minutes of the men's outdoor which we lost 6-2. Then I went and played a shift for the lower-division counterpart of my co-ed indoor team, and coached the rest. We lost that one 3-4.

In the first game, I had two assists and some really good moves. For the first assist, I doo-daddled it while sombrero-ing over two people's heads in quick succession, then passed it to Jay who put it in.

At another point which was a three on three, I doo-daddled it through my opponent's legs (called a nutmeg), then shot to hit the bottom left post.

I also felt like I was about to be paralyzed at another point when I dribbled it around a guy who pushed me, I fell and glanced my head off a guy's shinpad which threw it to the side. I sorta remember it, and I also remember saying "That was the most horrific event I've ever encountered" when I got up. When I fell I curled up in a ball and just sorta hoped I wasn't paralyzed, and then came off. My arm hurt and my fingers on my left hand were numb, but I suppose that happens. The team we played were a bunch of numbskulls that couldn't play and just loved to obstruct and foul. The problem with being the league worker in your own game is that you can't call a single thing on these morons, else you're biased. I also deserved a penalty shot at another point, but that's a-whole-nother story.

In the mens game I made a chance or two and tried to organize my motley crew. I'm usually an attacking player, but I vouched to play center-back for a few games just to see if I could calm it down a little back there for us. Generally speaking, the fastest people on most of those teams are strikers, so we need somebody to match them. I also have a pretty accurate slide tackle, so that could be a good spot for me. My headers aren't that great, but there's no better time to really work on them than with sweaty men run at you trying to do the same thing as you.

I was able to play a few nice balls, but our offense was pretty lacking. There'll be a practice for us Sunday that I was told to lead, and I have a few ideas. I want to emulate causing the feeling of somebody approaching you as you receive as pass, and getting rid of it quick. We have bad nerves and first touches out there, and once we get that, conditioning, and making runs down, we'll be a much better unit.

As coach for the last game I felt I made some good changes, and we played really well near the end of the game. They just needed a bit of organization.

It was strange, lately I've been feeling everything is moving slower and slower out there on the field. That is surely a good thing, unless I picked up some of that "hemorrhage" from that fall.
Or maybe it was because the grass in my first game was tall.

I owe this thing a post.

Today was an off day, thankfully. I got home from work and slept for two hours, ate, and soon I'm going back to sleep.

Yesterday I had an indoor mens game that we lost 2-4. I scored a goal on a penalty shot, and had a lot of good chances robbed from me by the keeper. I was finishing much better, but their goalie was pretty good. I was cherry picking because they liked to push 5 up, so I stayed back and helped draw one of their players back. They should've killed us, but thankfully didn't due to somewhat tight marking on the ball and a ton of missed shots. The penalty kick was low and to the goalie's left, just beyond his foot. I always just blast them in indoor, the net's too small to place it without it being saved.

Sunday's mealtime excursion was pretty funny. My pals Stephen and David were meeting Dan, Resa, and Jay at Quiznos' after a game, but we got there a minute too late. So while we deliberated what to do in the parking lot, I saw two younguns ram a shopping cart full of something into a concrete piling for one of the mall parking lot light posts. I gave light chase, of course, and caught up to one, and asked him why he did it. I think he was pretty anxious and exhausted from his bike sprint, and he ratted his pal out to me, at which point I said "let's get him" (to which he began to give chase with me on his bike) then drove off. You know those kids had the best weekend story at school yesterday.


As for the sprained finger a week or so back, Stephen and I were playing soccer in one of the fields just behind my city's sport injuries clinic. I told him to take a couple shots at me, and the second forced a diving save out of me, after which we yelled back and forth;

"I think you broke my finger!"
"No way... Seriously?"
"YES."
"I don't believe you."
"Then come look!"

Squeamish Stephen came on over and shuddered at the sight of the spitting image of this lovely dislocated finger.

"AUGHH! Go to the clinic!"
"Okay."

So I walked over to the clinic, and asked the receptionist if I could get the finger reset. She obliged and set me up pretty quickly with a nice doctor (though the nurse demanded I sit in a wheelchair). I got x-rays, so no problems there, and the doctor, in one swift, unnoticeable, and painless motion put it back into place as I prepared for pain. It was simple to reset because I had sprained that (and all of my other fingers) so many times before.

They told me to wait around for a splint, and so I asked to leave as I had to go see a show a couple of my pals were putting on. They said to wait, so I walked out with Stephen, dropped him off after he bought me supper (I suppose he felt bad, or was just his usual charitable self).

Tomorrow I have to make a choice between a game with my co-ed team that we'll probably win, or with my senior team that the bookies would pin us to be the losers. If you haven't yet noticed, I'm on more than one team. The mens team, called the White Eagles, plays both indoor and outdoor, and lacks conditioning and good playing habits. The co-ed team, Team Gigantic (I cringe whenever I say that), is a solid all-around team, without any real strategy but with smart players that know how to play off of each other. As well, there's a premier team that I tried out for but didn't make the subs bench for (I'd like to think I'm in a one-man youth academy), but I plan on going back to practice with them sooner or later in order to try and reserve a spot next year. At this rate, I'm very optimistic. Fitness wasn't a problem when I played with them, it was more ball control.

I'd ask for thoughts on which game to miss, but nobody knows about this blog yet.

So today I played three games. Two outdoor one-hourers, back to back (with my co-ed outdoor team), and then an indoor game two and a half hours later (with basically the same co-ed team). We won all three, 5-1, 7-1, 7-3. I scored one goal in the first game, and assisted at least three. However, I ruined at least a dozen golden chances on breakaways. It was not my night in that respect. Though two of my assists in indoor were particularly neat, and I played well defensively in the indoor game. Defense wasn't needed in outdoor.

Between the games, my team had some time to burn, so six of us decided to grab some food.

Good story here, but you'll have to wait for tomorrow as I'm beat. It'll be Storytelling Monday. What a weekend, but I must go sleep. What an insane weekend.