"It's only fun until somebody loses an eye. Then it's a Turbofoul."

In the three games I've played in the last two days, I scored in two and played goalie in one of those. In the remaining game, I played sweeper one a huge field with a back three as opposed to a back four, so I got to dribble around a total of two people on the same run at the end of the game.

Yesterday at work, I played with the Wannabees yet again, to pass the time. I was in net, and it was ridiculous. The gym that my company uses gets incredibly humid in the summer, and yesterday, the humidity was at its finest. I slipped and slid, and at one point performed the splits quite well. Near the end of the game, I carried the ball up and shot when nobody closed me down, picking the bottom corner somewhat unintentionally. 2-2 was the final.

In the last game with Team G, I played a total of nine minutes thanks to a 4-man rotation for midfielders, and still scored. The ball popped out of a kerfuffle in the corner, and again, I wasn't closed down, so I rifled it to the far top corner from about 8 yards out.

Strangely enough, this was not two minutes after half time, immediately following half the team and one of my teammate's dads collectively chewing me out for passing too much, being dirty, not shaving, and not scoring.

I really didn't see the problem, I shaved about five days ago. Regardless, my beard lost us the game 6-4, in spite of not being scored on while I was on, and scoring one myself.

Now, for the Hurricanes competitive game tonight, we played our new 3-2-3-2 formation.

Surprisingly, it works well. I think some of the positions that people are played or not played in can be worked on, but for the most part, we have it right. I really would like to get into an attacking position, I think it could do us some good. I also know just the man to fill in the defensive spot I vacate, and that would be my compatriot Matt. Easily enough, our coach has him playing on the wing, and that would be my kind of position.

In the game itself, I made a couple mistakes that led to goals, but I also saved my team's asses a few times as well with some well timed slide tackles and some good shielding to give us goal kicks. At one point, I shielded a ball for about 8 yards while it trickled (and I do mean trickled) over the by-line. Thankfully, I didn't get my calves kicked in.

As the game went on, I grew more comfortable on the ball, eventually utilizing one of my new-found strengths, long passing, to great effect. I imagine it'd get even better if I didn't have to put full strength onto most balls, too. I completed 3/5 or some nice amount like that, which makes it surprisingly effective, considering the normal risk involved.

As pictures of the new turf on the field I played on tonight are scarce on the internet, it should suffice it to say that is has been the most fantastic surface I have ever played on. There were a couple strange bumps, but for the most part, it was blissful. One thing that took a bit of getting used to was the bounce on the ball, though, which was a little more severe than usual.

Refer to the "plastic pitches" of the 1980s for more info; I'm sure this one wasn't off. That still doesn't make it a bad pitch, it is by far the best I've ever played on. One thing I noticed, though, was the back pain at the end of the game for no apparent reason other than the stress the turf put on my muscles.

We lost 5-3 after giving up 3 leads. Before you ask, I have no idea why we stuck with three in the back after any three of those goals.

One tidbit I'd like to share before I check in for the night has to do with the U of W soccer team I intend on trying out for. If you refer to the last post, there is a link with the vaguest of details of the venture. In two years, the team intends on joining the CIS league, but for now, will enjoy the first year (but probably more) of its life in the MCAC league.

Last year's winner of the MCAC league was Providence College, which is apparently just outside Winnipeg. Now, I don't have much to base this on, but aside from a 18-2 win over Steinbach Bible College last season, a college that offers the course "Biblical Poetry II: Wisdom Literature" should not be taken seriously.

You know what? Forget tact, I'm going to just have a field day:

1. We have to watch out for the aforementioned Steinbach Bible College, they intend on making the course "Integrating Faith and Sport" a mandatory course for their athletes. I suppose Providence College has nine times the faith of SBC, then. Hopefully integration evens the playing field.
2. The "Canadian Mennonite University" also has a team, as does a French College in our city. That makes a four team league, with the relig-o-meter* reading a whopping 75%. I didn't even know it could withstand a reading that high. I also didn't know that two of those colleges existed.
3. Providence College has an enrollment of ~425 students, including a heap of seminary students. Factor in the gender split, and that leaves ~210 males in the college. Essentially, one-tenth of that is on the soccer team.
4. The course "Biblical Poetry II: Wisdom Literature" can be taken online. It begs the question; other than those suckered into the cinematic-sounding title, who would do that?
5. Have you ever seen an amazing, deeply religious soccer player? Soccer is a religion in and of itself, and it's impossible to have two.
   

I'm almost done.†



* - The Relig-o-meter is a patented device for reading into the levels of faith in a given space.
† - I have been working on this post for two and a quarter hours. It is 5:17 AM right now. Goodnight.

"Wrong number, but it can still be a threesome if you really want."

There are far too many games and much too little time to actually keep up with this, but I suppose I'll try my best.

Since we've last left off, I've had a bagful of games, mostly losses. There are doses of good news, however.

1. I broke a huge scoring drought recently. I'm now on a hot streak.
2. South Transcona District had a lead at one point today thanks to a goal of mine.
3. I bloody well scored from past half in another game today.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Well, it may just get better. Read this article about my university to find out more.

In spite of my university education nearing its end, I am convinced that I want to continue it should I get the opportunity to play university level football.

Of course it's a pipe dream, but the man who alerted me certainly has faith in me/is inflating my ego. Thanks, Sean.

Anyway, I had two games today. One with STD, and the other with Team Gigantic, playing calcetto.

Chronologically, the STD game was first, so we'll start there.

We played on a waterlogged pitch with a swamp down the far touchline. This seemed to be an advantage for me, as 4 minutes in, I turned after receiving a throw in and took off.

I had a good distance to cover, and I had beaten their old left back easily, but had hit the mire. The ball stuck in the soup as I just about passed it by. I yelled a curse (a team match was carded for doing the same later), scooped it, and continued on. Another 20 menters down the line, the ball hit a different section of the 2-3 inch deep swamp, and got stuck again. By now, the old guy had caught up to me, so I scooped it up, turned inside, and headed for goal, beating another man in the process.

As I went to shoot, my heel was clipped, and I drew the penalty shot. With nobody else wanting to take, I lined it up and intended to place it into the bottom right corner.

What I did not take into account was the uneven surface, deep mud, water patches and bad grass. My penalty literally rolled the the dead center of the net, occupied by a keeper that certainly hadn't quite moved.

Now what went through his mind next is beyond me, but the ball went underneath him as he flopped half-heartedly away from the ball.

I was puzzled, but thankful. It was probably the cheekiest penalty since this one. Unless, of course, intent is required.

But I suppose I should get more points for not being Francesco Totti*.

The rest of that game was a mess (not that the breakaway and penalty weren't) , but I suppose that's what you get when the league owner publicly predicts that you will lose 5-2.

I had noticed that every attack went through one player in the midfield, so I shut him down when I was on. He was tricky, but none of his team mates were overly decent, so we kept it scoreless until I went off ten minutes before half.

After half, this guy switched to striker and terrorized the weakest couple of players on the team, and the result was them scoring four unanswered in the second half.

I had a couple decent plays, most notably a lofted through ball to a striker making a run down the center, where he was mysteriously unmarked (or too fast). He fluffed the shot, naturally.

As it would turn out, the league owner was damn near right, we lost 5-1.

After attending a canceled practice for the Hurricanes (on account of only three people showing up on time and the coach being half an hour late with three other guys), I went to go watch a Team G calcetto game. For those not familiar, calcetto is essentially outdoor futsal.

A Calcetto field.

I ended up playing that game due to a short bench, and we murdered the other team. The first half wasn't so ugly, but nearing half, the floodgates opened, and that trend continued. I enjoyed it immensely, pulled out numerous one touch passes and goal eerily similar (field position and ball flight) to the following Beckham goal (to scale).

I'm still not cheeky, I swear.

Along with that goal, we had scored a few other nice ones. Hats off to the other team and Josh, though, for producing two goals that might just be nicer than mine. Josh's was a chest-controlled volley (that didn't hit a post), and the other team's was a flicked ball over our defender's head to an onrushing attacker, executed very cleanly.

I assisted a whole pile more in that game, and my team lost count after we had scored something like ten goals. Special mention to Jeff as well for burying a header off a corner that I had put in. That's probably the first goal off a corner that I've ever assisted.

Training has been going well, otherwise. I've been squeezing weights in when possible, I've been mostly leaving conditioning by the wayside. I suppose it's important that I become a mammoth if I'm to play sweeper for the Hurricanes. I really don't mind it, but I would love some stability in my positioning. In other Hurricanes news, we got our first point of the season last week. More to come, surely, if the team can ever attend a practice.

* - Beckham-esque goal excluded, I don't usually feel like chipping every goalie I come across, and in addition, I don't sport a shit eating grin nearly as well as Totti does.