For your entertainment only

"You Have a Leader's Voice"

2010-09-21T11:47:00.007-05:00

With all of the summer leagues having come to a close with the exception of one, I haven't had many games to log recently. As an update, the last summer team functioning is the Cooligans, who had secured top spot in the division a game before its end. And now, with playoffs coming, we have one or two more games to play, depending on our fortunes.

The last two Cooligans games I had played in, we needed a substitute goalie, so I filled in, somewhat regretably. Now, goalie really isn't my best position, as many will attest to, but I have found that I have hot nights and cold nights. My last night in net for an indoor mens team was a particularly cold night, and when I'm cold; I'm really cold, but when I'm hot; I'm really hot.

And heat is what happened in (one of) those games. In the first of the two, I let in four while my team pressed and scored a dozen, getting a couple fortunate post hits, and I was mediocre that night. Mediocre because of all the saveable shots taken, I got to them, but they were usually at my gut. The unsaveables were from two-or-three-on-ones that had been crossed right across my box to an open player willing to tap in.

In the second game in net, I made four or five breakaway stops, and let one goal in that a defender admitted fault for not marking his player who was open on the other side of the box. I made really good free kicks and dominated my box very well, and I must say, I was deserving of a shut out. Hopefully this doesn't make me the de facto back-up keeper, because I certainly am not capable of that on a day to day basis. We won 3-1, but in reality it should've been 3-2; I grazed an indirect free kick in the last minute that nobody else had seen. I believe we end up playing the worst team in the league (in my opinion) in the first round of playoffs.

STD's playoff run ended swiftly, much to our steadily improving team's chagrin. We ended up taking third in the league after being last place for the first four games, but we lost our second and third playoff games after winning the first in penalties. I have no idea how the playoff structure went, but in was poorly thought-up to say the least.

I started out as a sweeper, keeping them out relatively well. After a goal of our own, they capitalized with an incredibly fortunate chipped shot with my goalie and I bearing down on a player who was set free from the trap. After this, I moved into the midfield, and the game became easier, in spite of missing our best players and having no subs.

We got scored on early in the second half, but off a corner, I headed one in to equalize. it was from about eight yards out and I was unmarked, allowing me to head downwards powerfully enough to bounce over the man covering the near post.

I took the first penalty and drained it in the bottom left, trying not to think of the last penalty I had tryed to place there with the Hurricanes a month before, in a game which I didn't report here, but we lost 5-4 in the last five minutes after I was taken off when the score was 3-4. I'll have you know, I had made up for that penalty by creating what I thought would be the game-winning goal soon after, by switching the ball to an open team mate for him to cross it in. That whole game was terrible, my team fell off the map after being up by two at half. The lead changed twice more, and then they ran away with in with a free kick, effectively ending our season.

After STD won, I booked it to the lake to enjoy the last weekend of "summer", coming back a day later for a U of W B-team game.

I've been training with the U of W team for quite some time now, and my touch has really failed me in training, to the point that the coaches noticed it and lowered my position on the totem pole.

In this game, I started on the bench, and when asked by the coach about my position, I told him I was a right winger or a defensive midfielder. He asked me which it was, so I told him wing, and then saw him write striker down on his paper. Go figure.

I went in at about twenty minutes time after watching numerous players get taken off for laziness (including Clinton, a friend from the Hurricanes) and general bad play.

The team we played was the Regional Training Center team, composed of 14-17 year-olds who passed us to death. When I got on, I began pressuring, and despite our lack of midfield pressence with certain players, we started winning the ball up higher on the pitch. At one point, I tracked back from my striker position to win a slide tackle from behind just inside our box, but it was clean (and beautiful), so I recieved some praise from the coach at half time for being (along with my good pal Mick) one of the only two players to come back and win a tackle.

At the restart, I pressured more and won a couple balls high up the pitch, and I won a couple good fouls that we didn't capitalize on. One foul that was won by my side's winger when I played him through ended up in a free kick which was crossed in. I got my head to it and glanced it into the roof of the net, which gave us a 1-0 lead*. At first, I was incredibly excited, celebrating with a trademark clenched-double-fisted underhanded fist pump while yelling "YEAAAAAAAAAAAH" at the top of my lungs. I then realized that I had just scored a header against a team of (mostly) pint-sized kids while excellent touch, passing, and discipline, but then it just turned into "I just scored on a bunch of runts". Regardless, I'm still proud of my first (and likely only) university level goal. I wasn't taken off for the rest of the game, though I was yelled at from the sidelines to stay up front more.

I felt that the coach approved of my game, and I think I have moved back up the totem pole again. Recently, I also get the feeling that they're helping me work on my touch more, by making me a neutral in keepaway drills, allowing me to get on the ball more.

If I can prove myself just a bit more, I get the feeling good things are going to come.

* - This was in the second half only, which we won 1-0. We lost the first half 0-4, three of those happening before I got on.

Extinction is for Chumps

2010-08-22T23:22:00.005-05:00

These past three days have really put the hurtin' on me, to the point that it's uncomfortable to even sit in a chair and write this. My left slide is torn up from slide tackling on the artificial pitch at Waverly and both knees are swollen and sore from collisions.

This is after three days of "healing".

I suppose I'll write about the trifling issues first, such as Saturday's game with STD and today's practice with the Hurricanes.

But first, we'll start with Friday's game with the Hurricanes which against the number one team on a wet artificial pitch. I started the game as center back, and within one minute my first touch which was meant to take down a ball that went over my head resulted in me slipping and letting a striker go score a goal. It was absolutely terrible, so I switched with a midfielder who has played center-back and went on the wing. From there, I scored a diving header from a cross, almost headed in another that was bobbling in front of the net, had some excellent set-up play, and generally covered back extremely well. It was after that game that I had realized that I had found my position.

I had played so well that the opposing outside midfielder told me that his team was underestimating me, most likely because he wasn't marking me at all because he was tired, and they wanted me marked because I was terrorizing them. He was a nice guy. The guy he replaced in the first half marked me even less, and I frequently was able to run at the fullback and threaten with crosses and penetrating balls. Overall, I had a very successful game in that position. Probably one of my best outdoor games yet, ever.

We lost 6-3, but regardless, it's at the point with that team that I aim for personal improvement, because, unfortunately, everybody else has lost faith in the team, displayed in the practice we had last night - Three people were there on time (me, the coach, and his loyal pal), and two more came twenty minutes late. This is of a roster of 17 or so. It's a real shame, for two seasons we've had a nearly completely different roster, and nothing is being done about what is actually going wrong with the team*.

The STD game was typical of us, we played better than we actually are, and won 7-2. I drained a penalty in the right side netting against a keeper I only had to hit it meekly anywhere against, I had a small guy throw himself at me and just about knock my teeth out, and I just about went top left corner on the ensuing free kick from a bad angle. The team we played was convinced they were better than us (and they were), and some of the cockiness deserved a few hard slide tackles. Typical anger at getting beat by an overall more organized and better-conditioned side, I suppose.

Monday night I played a competitive indoor game with the Cooligans. I assisted at least two goals, one with a trademark square pass to a defender who took a touch and leathered it, the other as I rushed the keeper, got a ball I wasn't expecting from a defender behind me, and just when the keeper closed me down, I tapped it square off to my striker, but barely, and he converted. We ended up winning 6-1.

And now, the tryouts. There were two this last weekend, and more are planned, but I felt I did well and stand a chance at making the team, lest I fly underneath the radar due to my name not being big enough in Manitoba soccer. Saturday's tryout consisted of conditioning circuits with the ladder, slalom poles, and hurdles, and a lot of sprinting, and then keep away drills which my group required coaching for, due to everybody not defending or making space properly. In the eventual scrimmage, I got bounced around because nobody really knew where they were playing; I started at right back, moved to winger where my Hurricanes compatriot Mentor was also playing, then I moved to center mid and found a lot of space to work with that wasn't taken advantage of because of the lack of passing. After that day, even though I felt I had personally done well, my efforts would have gone unnoticed because of the groups/teams I was with.

Sunday's tryout went much better, we began with a drill where ten players are numbered in a box and passed in increasing number, running outside the box when we've made our pass, then back in to receive another pass. Doing this, I received a "good work!" from the coach when I made a nice long pass. After that, I was a neutral player in a scrimmage with goals at the corner, and I scored a goal and assisted a couple more.

Following that was a scrimmage where I had played in a side playing a 4-4-2 with a diamond. I played as right shuttler, or wide mid with inside duties. I felt really at home in the position, and I made an assist, played a huge part in the buildup of our second goal (with a simple touch and pass wide to my fullback, who assisted the striker who scored), and defended really well considering my defensive midfielder was nowhere to be found. After a slide tackle which I was congratulated for by the guy I tackled (a short winger who I assumed would be quicker than me, I chased him down the wing for ten yards and then went in for it), I had to go out because I had taken a hit on my good knee.

Strangely, I think both knees now have the same problem. I should ice them.

* - Among those things, my favorite is the sideline coaching; constant shouts of "come on guys" and "NO!" but no suggestions given as to what actually needs to happen. Also to be noted is the sometimes bleak outlook (eg: "oh no, we're screwed") on games if some of our key players are missing.

"Anything smaller?"

2010-08-18T12:11:00.002-05:00

In recent weeks, football has been quite stagnant in regards to material I can throw on here. There have been wins, there have been losses, and there hasn't been much else to speak of.

I've been getting quite fatigued lately, so right now I'm in the middle of a self-imposed break that should last until Saturday, with two more games being missed.

The importance of this break should also be evaluated on Saturday, when the University has their tryout.

I'm stressing pretty bad about the tryout, so in a game last night, I played quite hard to prove my worth to myself - and fortunately, it showed with a two goal haul, a few assists, and a few runs through three people. It took a load off my mind that I had the ability to do these things, and the two goals were quite nice too - the first was a full turn and shoot from a tight angle that received hatfuls of praise from my peers, and the second was a volley off my left foot that I couldn't see until it trickled behind the keeper off the post then his back. I came close at other times, but my style in that game was to score from close range, and often the front of the net was packed. It didn't help that I was playing mid, there was a lot of running to do.

We'll just have to wait on this stiff knee to see what's going on for the weekend - I'm hoping I can be fit and ready to go.

"I don't understand, there's a raptor there"

2010-07-21T12:06:00.003-05:00

I have had the busiest time of my life in the last few days, between my three jobs, house-sitting duties, umpteen teams, and brand-new girlfriend, among other things.

That being said, it's good fun, mostly.

I've had five outdoor games, an indoor game, and a couple practices in the last 5 days as well as some games that I'm forgetting about, but I want to keep it short and sweet anyways.

Friday was host to a co-ed outdoor and then competitive outdoor game. We had very few players for the first game, so I ended up playing striker, which I really enjoyed. I was able to make many dangerous runs and challenge a lot of players, but my shooting was just off; I hit the post twice and was just wide a couple of other times. The runs I made were great though, I felt like a truly natural striker, aside from the lack of finishing. I also megged a guy pretty well, it was awesome because I actually had to predict what he was going to do. I addition to all of that, I had a bicycle kick too, but I may've been showing off just a bit in that case. We ended up coming from behind and tying it 3-all.

I was benched for the first half of my competitive game because I arrived late, and then kept my girlfriend sweet in the stands for the rest of the warm-up. I definitely deserved it, but I feel slightly guilty because of the two goals that were scored against us in the first half while I wasn't on. One, in particular, was off a penalty kick that should've never happened. This was against a team that we needed to beat, too, but didn't. In the second half, we had one more scored on us thanks to some strange keeper positioning and one of my fullbacks getting beaten.

I find, that while playing as a sweeper, the hardest part is when the other team beats a player of mine and I can't get to him in time to fill in and make the tackle or slow him down, and that was exactly what happened. Otherwise, I had a lot of solid blocks and clearances, and I find that I'm getting better at the position. I just have to work on my offside trapping, and then I'll be even better. The only issue with that is when my fullbacks get dragged way behind me, it's completely shot to hell.

Since this issue has been wasting away on my PC for days now, I'll go ahead and post it and play some catch up later.

For now, I've another road trip to Portage La Prairie.

"Oops. Uruguay scored when I was watching Meatloaf in HD"

2010-07-13T10:09:00.002-05:00

In the wake of the World Cup, I've been busier than ever.

But there's always time for soccer.

On the afternoon of the third place game, South Transcona District had a game that I was late to due some overnight drinking and work stuff, and what a nail-biter that was. We led thanks to a new player, he had one effective move, and that was to dump the ball past his mark and run around him. Thankfully he had a good shot too, he put in two goals for us. We led 2-0 at the half.

In the second half, we got knocked down a peg, in spite of some amazing play that occured, particularly off a counter attack. Words cannot describe it, so a diagram will have to do.

I'm the Orange star, Ball movement is in black and off the ball runs are in indigo. We did not score.

Aside from some possession and that counter, we got dominated and let in three goals at the start of the half, when our sweeper and I weren't on.

We tied it up with ten minutes to go, and because the team was cocky on the last corner of the game, we managed to counter and score once more for the win. Unbelievable stuff.

Also, I may've gotten a slight concussion in that game when I went for a header. I remember going for a header, hitting something, then waking up shortly after with pain in my head, a bit of groggyness, and this.

What, it's had a couple days to heal...

Yesterday I had an hour and a half of penalty kicks and left-foot practice, two back-to-back games and went for a 4 km run with Jay, and I'm feeling all that today. I slept a mere 6 hours for some reason, and I feel as though I've been worked over pretty well.

Both games were co-ed, the first was with Team Gigantic against a team with an army on the bench. We lost 3-0 thanks to some severe double-coverage and some fatigue, but it was a very fun game. I felt like a prima donna though, my first five touches after running on for an on-the-fly sub were: chesting the ball up, then heading it three times, and letting it drop into a no-look one-timer.

But it was cool.

I also had a few Messi-esque runs from inside my own and some good passing with Josh and Jay, but it just wasn't to be.

The game after was a lot of fun, Greg Pacholek (who is from my old high school soccer team) needed players, and so I donned a baby-sized shirt I found in a back-room and went to town against a team that recruited Derek in net. Happily, I scored twice, the first off a neat cut in and rifle to the far post, and the second thanks to a good cross, bad marking, and decent positioning. We won 6-5, but only after Derek denied me a hat trick after I stole the ball and sent in an off-balanced left-footed shot, which he dove ~40 feet to get a hand in front of. The best thing about that whole scenario was that as I approached him, I told him that I was going to steal the ball and score.

What else are best friends for?

It's the One Above South Korea

2010-07-07T03:27:00.003-05:00

As luck (or skill) would have it, my competitive team has collected four points off the last six available. I've played sweeper both games, letting in a miserly one goal off a quickly taken free kick.

In the first of those two games, I figured out something about my play style that needs to improve.

When a team really pressures me, I panic and my passing turns to absolute crap. The team was closing me down really quickly, and I was mildly* fortunate to escape with a shutout. Other than a few scares for both sides, it was a boring game that left the Hurricanes at two points - still, last in the standings. I've always felt my vision was good, but I suppose that's just my long passing when I actually have time on the ball. It'll just have to be something I work at.

Yesterday, I played with my competitive co-ed team; we thrashed a team 8-2 as I played midfield. I had three or four assists, and had a lot of good runs, but that combined with a practice that Jay and I had planned for the Hurricanes a day prior left me completely gassed for tonight's game.

I really am starting to feel the effects of day-in-day-out practicing and playing, and they're not pretty. Thankfully, after an easy outdoor co-ed game tomorrow, I'll have... A bloody practice the day after. But I do have Friday off. I suppose that's a consolation.

Tonight's game was a wild success against the fifth placed team. We were up three but allowed a cheap quick free kick goal, but aside from that there's not much to talk about.

I played the whole ninety, but I literally did not break a sweat. Most of my activity was spent clearing the odd long ball or telling my three defenders what to do, and I felt that I had a much better game than last weeks'. I still do wish to get a little more of a chance to move upfield, but we'll see. Today wasn't particularly good for that.

If I had a highlight of the night, it was a slide tackle that tapped the ball off the defender, but while the ball floated over me (and I was on the ground), I kicked it out of the way with my heel.

I was told I had a better game, but I still think that I need to improve.

* - It depends how you look at it.

"It's only fun until somebody loses an eye. Then it's a Turbofoul."

2010-06-24T03:03:00.007-05:00

In the three games I've played in the last two days, I scored in two and played goalie in one of those. In the remaining game, I played sweeper one a huge field with a back three as opposed to a back four, so I got to dribble around a total of two people on the same run at the end of the game.

Yesterday at work, I played with the Wannabees yet again, to pass the time. I was in net, and it was ridiculous. The gym that my company uses gets incredibly humid in the summer, and yesterday, the humidity was at its finest. I slipped and slid, and at one point performed the splits quite well. Near the end of the game, I carried the ball up and shot when nobody closed me down, picking the bottom corner somewhat unintentionally. 2-2 was the final.

In the last game with Team G, I played a total of nine minutes thanks to a 4-man rotation for midfielders, and still scored. The ball popped out of a kerfuffle in the corner, and again, I wasn't closed down, so I rifled it to the far top corner from about 8 yards out.

Strangely enough, this was not two minutes after half time, immediately following half the team and one of my teammate's dads collectively chewing me out for passing too much, being dirty, not shaving, and not scoring.

I really didn't see the problem, I shaved about five days ago. Regardless, my beard lost us the game 6-4, in spite of not being scored on while I was on, and scoring one myself.

Now, for the Hurricanes competitive game tonight, we played our new 3-2-3-2 formation.

Surprisingly, it works well. I think some of the positions that people are played or not played in can be worked on, but for the most part, we have it right. I really would like to get into an attacking position, I think it could do us some good. I also know just the man to fill in the defensive spot I vacate, and that would be my compatriot Matt. Easily enough, our coach has him playing on the wing, and that would be my kind of position.

In the game itself, I made a couple mistakes that led to goals, but I also saved my team's asses a few times as well with some well timed slide tackles and some good shielding to give us goal kicks. At one point, I shielded a ball for about 8 yards while it trickled (and I do mean trickled) over the by-line. Thankfully, I didn't get my calves kicked in.

As the game went on, I grew more comfortable on the ball, eventually utilizing one of my new-found strengths, long passing, to great effect. I imagine it'd get even better if I didn't have to put full strength onto most balls, too. I completed 3/5 or some nice amount like that, which makes it surprisingly effective, considering the normal risk involved.

As pictures of the new turf on the field I played on tonight are scarce on the internet, it should suffice it to say that is has been the most fantastic surface I have ever played on. There were a couple strange bumps, but for the most part, it was blissful. One thing that took a bit of getting used to was the bounce on the ball, though, which was a little more severe than usual.

Refer to the "plastic pitches" of the 1980s for more info; I'm sure this one wasn't off. That still doesn't make it a bad pitch, it is by far the best I've ever played on. One thing I noticed, though, was the back pain at the end of the game for no apparent reason other than the stress the turf put on my muscles.

We lost 5-3 after giving up 3 leads. Before you ask, I have no idea why we stuck with three in the back after any three of those goals.

One tidbit I'd like to share before I check in for the night has to do with the U of W soccer team I intend on trying out for. If you refer to the last post, there is a link with the vaguest of details of the venture. In two years, the team intends on joining the CIS league, but for now, will enjoy the first year (but probably more) of its life in the MCAC league.

Last year's winner of the MCAC league was Providence College, which is apparently just outside Winnipeg. Now, I don't have much to base this on, but aside from a 18-2 win over Steinbach Bible College last season, a college that offers the course "Biblical Poetry II: Wisdom Literature" should not be taken seriously.

You know what? Forget tact, I'm going to just have a field day:

We have to watch out for the aforementioned Steinbach Bible College, they intend on making the course "Integrating Faith and Sport" a mandatory course for their athletes. I suppose Providence College has nine times the faith of SBC, then. Hopefully integration evens the playing field.
The "Canadian Mennonite University" also has a team, as does a French College in our city. That makes a four team league, with the relig-o-meter* reading a whopping 75%. I didn't even know it could withstand a reading that high. I also didn't know that two of those colleges existed.
Providence College has an enrollment of ~425 students, including a heap of seminary students. Factor in the gender split, and that leaves ~210 males in the college. Essentially, one-tenth of that is on the soccer team.
The course "Biblical Poetry II: Wisdom Literature" can be taken online. It begs the question; other than those suckered into the cinematic-sounding title, who would do that?
Have you ever seen an amazing, deeply religious soccer player? Soccer is a religion in and of itself, and it's impossible to have two.

I'm almost done.†

* - The Relig-o-meter is a patented device for reading into the levels of faith in a given space.
† - I have been working on this post for two and a quarter hours. It is 5:17 AM right now. Goodnight.

"Wrong number, but it can still be a threesome if you really want."

2010-06-21T02:00:00.004-05:00

There are far too many games and much too little time to actually keep up with this, but I suppose I'll try my best.

Since we've last left off, I've had a bagful of games, mostly losses. There are doses of good news, however.

I broke a huge scoring drought recently. I'm now on a hot streak.
South Transcona District had a lead at one point today thanks to a goal of mine.
I bloody well scored from past half in another game today.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Well, it may just get better. Read this article about my university to find out more.

In spite of my university education nearing its end, I am convinced that I want to continue it should I get the opportunity to play university level football.

Of course it's a pipe dream, but the man who alerted me certainly has faith in me/is inflating my ego. Thanks, Sean.

Anyway, I had two games today. One with STD, and the other with Team Gigantic, playing calcetto.

Chronologically, the STD game was first, so we'll start there.

We played on a waterlogged pitch with a swamp down the far touchline. This seemed to be an advantage for me, as 4 minutes in, I turned after receiving a throw in and took off.

I had a good distance to cover, and I had beaten their old left back easily, but had hit the mire. The ball stuck in the soup as I just about passed it by. I yelled a curse (a team match was carded for doing the same later), scooped it, and continued on. Another 20 menters down the line, the ball hit a different section of the 2-3 inch deep swamp, and got stuck again. By now, the old guy had caught up to me, so I scooped it up, turned inside, and headed for goal, beating another man in the process.

As I went to shoot, my heel was clipped, and I drew the penalty shot. With nobody else wanting to take, I lined it up and intended to place it into the bottom right corner.

What I did not take into account was the uneven surface, deep mud, water patches and bad grass. My penalty literally rolled the the dead center of the net, occupied by a keeper that certainly hadn't quite moved.

Now what went through his mind next is beyond me, but the ball went underneath him as he flopped half-heartedly away from the ball.

I was puzzled, but thankful. It was probably the cheekiest penalty since this one. Unless, of course, intent is required.

But I suppose I should get more points for not being Francesco Totti*.

The rest of that game was a mess (not that the breakaway and penalty weren't) , but I suppose that's what you get when the league owner publicly predicts that you will lose 5-2.

I had noticed that every attack went through one player in the midfield, so I shut him down when I was on. He was tricky, but none of his team mates were overly decent, so we kept it scoreless until I went off ten minutes before half.

After half, this guy switched to striker and terrorized the weakest couple of players on the team, and the result was them scoring four unanswered in the second half.

I had a couple decent plays, most notably a lofted through ball to a striker making a run down the center, where he was mysteriously unmarked (or too fast). He fluffed the shot, naturally.

As it would turn out, the league owner was damn near right, we lost 5-1.

After attending a canceled practice for the Hurricanes (on account of only three people showing up on time and the coach being half an hour late with three other guys), I went to go watch a Team G calcetto game. For those not familiar, calcetto is essentially outdoor futsal.

A Calcetto field.

I ended up playing that game due to a short bench, and we murdered the other team. The first half wasn't so ugly, but nearing half, the floodgates opened, and that trend continued. I enjoyed it immensely, pulled out numerous one touch passes and goal eerily similar (field position and ball flight) to the following Beckham goal (to scale).

I'm still not cheeky, I swear.

Along with that goal, we had scored a few other nice ones. Hats off to the other team and Josh, though, for producing two goals that might just be nicer than mine. Josh's was a chest-controlled volley (that didn't hit a post), and the other team's was a flicked ball over our defender's head to an onrushing attacker, executed very cleanly.

I assisted a whole pile more in that game, and my team lost count after we had scored something like ten goals. Special mention to Jeff as well for burying a header off a corner that I had put in. That's probably the first goal off a corner that I've ever assisted.

Training has been going well, otherwise. I've been squeezing weights in when possible, I've been mostly leaving conditioning by the wayside. I suppose it's important that I become a mammoth if I'm to play sweeper for the Hurricanes. I really don't mind it, but I would love some stability in my positioning. In other Hurricanes news, we got our first point of the season last week. More to come, surely, if the team can ever attend a practice.

* - Beckham-esque goal excluded, I don't usually feel like chipping every goalie I come across, and in addition, I don't sport a shit eating grin nearly as well as Totti does.

"3, 2, 1, PS3"

2010-05-20T13:00:00.008-05:00

Time for some actual content now, I suppose.

My soccer schedule's been packed recently, with the 8 or whatever amount of teams I'm on, and fatigue is kicking in pretty early in the season. On the weekend, the Hurricanes had a tournament with other St. James clubs.

First up, we played a side divisions lower than us. Three, if I remember correctly.

We were still giving trials to players and had one or two subs, and we were generally pretty terrible. One of our players (who has since learned) tried to do too much with it around our box with no defenders behind him, lost it, and we got scored on. It took the rest of the first half and most of the second to equalize, hitting a post in the process. The game ended tied.

I played striker, but I was completely isolated from my team. Absolutely nobody was able to find me, and there were few balls coming my way that I could do much with. All in all, we all had a terrible game.

But there were penalty shots to make up for it. I took the second shot and Jay took the third, and my team on the whole failed massively. Our first kicker put it in, and so did the other team's.

Approaching the spot from half, I realized that this was my first shootout. Place it bottom right, I thought to myself. I walked to the spot, I'm not sure why, but it felt right. It was a long walk too, so I had plenty of time to clear my mind and focus myself on that bottom right corner. It took me a long time to set the ball up on the spot, the spot itself was in a hole, and I wanted the ball on the front edge of it.

Bottom right. Bottom right. Bottom right.

On the run-up which was more of a jog up, I changed my mind and went with it, passing it into the bottom left corner. Afterwards, I was told by my team mate Keir* that I looked "super chill" executing the whole thing, which the team had a good laugh about. I suppose it was ballsy to pass it in, but of the remaining three shooters from our team, two hit the goalie, and Keir blasted in over and wide a la David Beckham.

Our second game started better, and I moved from striker to the wing. We still couldn't score for the life of us regardless of the fact that I set up a few good opportunities. We were quite close a couple times and hit the post another few, and then late in the second half, our defence let a man by, who shot, hit the crossbar, and had the ball fall to another player of theirs. He volleyed in, and we lost our third game of the season by one goal or penalties.

The day after that tournament, I had my first game with STD, or South Transcona District. Suitable abbreviation, I suppose. I played right back first half and then stopper second. We lost 3-0, but I had their best player in my pocket for the entire match. He was an attacking midfield who liked to carry the ball, and in reality he played a free role.

The day after that, the Hurricane played again. I played sweeper in lieu of Jay's absence. I was responsible for the a goal scored against us, passing it right to their player when I was on the side. We lost 2-1, though I made many great slide tackles and won a ton of balls in the air. The only other noticeable low point was getting megged in the corner by a big strong black guy. I redeemed myself a few times by making a couple last-ditch slide tackles on him though, including one in the box that the ref had to take a good look at.

We picked up our game in the second half, and won the half, but that's not going to suffice.

* - Keir and I went to elementary school together and didn't like each other much, but we're best of pals on the team, it's hilarious. And great.

"And No Cyborgs"

2010-05-19T04:17:00.005-05:00

Well, cripes, we're back, yet again.

In the last few months, I've been busy like never before.

Of course, that was until exams ended at the end of April, and since then I have mostly been relaxing, playing soccer, and really, really enjoying my free time. There's been a bit of work interspersed, but for the most part, my priorities have been perfectly in line with a life of maximal enjoyment.

I'm not sure where I left off, but here's the grand finale to the winter season that has been so anticipated:

One of Team Gigantic's teams made the playoffs only to get knocked out in the first round, and the weaker version of Team Gigantic made it to the finals, beating the #1 seed along the way. I had a fancy little goal in that game where off a goal kick, it hit two heads, came to me while I ran at the opposition's goal, made a cute cushioned header over a player, and then let it fall before burying it. I love when teams get antsy in the playoffs.
The Chillies crashed out of the playoffs despite being third seed.
I never played playoffs with Red Dogs.
Rec league teams were... Pretty recreational.

But fellows, now, it is the summer.

This means many things: tanning, swimming, training, and good looking girls everywhere. However, most of all; mens soccer is back in my life in a big way.

I almost beat a world record by having 10 teams this summer, and if not for work, I'd have done it. They would've been as follows:

St. James Hurricane - The good old men's team of last summer, now with Jay and Steve!
South Transcona Dynamo (STD) - A mens team with hangovers, a lack of fitness, and meagre opposition that still beats my team.
The Cooligans - An indoor team that I was scouted for by two separate people who separately had the idea to court me onto their team.
The Electric Shoes - And yes, they are back too.
Team Gigantic.
Team Gigantic's feeder* team, Even Bigger.
The Wannabees.
Team Gigantic's outdoor calcetto team.
The Chilly Willies, an outdoor rec league co-ed team with friends mostly from the Chilly Willies.
The Beautiful people, another outdoor rec league co-ed team with friends mostly from the Chillies.

There were probably another one or two, as well. It's probably erring on the side of overkill when it actually takes some effort to recall which teams you're on, but my legs don't seem to mind. Also note that for the last three teams of that list, I am a substitute, just in case one is needed.

Regardless of how many teams I'm on, it's 4:30 in the morning and I need to sleep.

Action comes tomorrow.

* - By feeder, I mean the place where we put players who want to play more, and the extra players the team has signed up that aren't as good as others.

"You sound like an anorexic"

2010-03-01T15:56:00.003-06:00

I've ended a tiny cold streak recently, yesterday and (some of) today I wasn't playing very well. Granted, I scored about 6 in the last couple days, but for the most part, the only thing that's been on has been my volleying. I've been hitting (with both feet) the back of the net consistently with them.

In spite of a slow start at the University Club (in particular my passing and control), I was picked third overall today when we had a schoolyard-style draft. I suppose it's my work rate that got me there, or maybe the couple lovely goals I had. The one that sticks out in particular was the control of a ball in air, and a hard volley into the top-left corner with my left foot on the second touch. After my passing and touch came back a bit, I felt much better about the game.

Yesterday, the Chillies game was a disaster (for me). Weak opposition, tons of chances, only two goals when I could've have five. My two goals (in the 6-1 win, their 1 was my fault, mostly) were two volleyed one-timers from one-twos, both coming when the opposition played with a man down due to a girl going absolutely savage on one of our own. Hair was pulled and everything.

Tonight, a game with the Red Dogs, that men's team that I'm helping out in the playoff push. Who knows, with some of the circus shots I've had recently, another first-half hat trick may be in the cards.

He Doesn't Know (How to Play)

2010-02-24T16:11:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was one of those days where you're sore to the point of lying down most of the day, so I did just that. At work, I played a game and a half, but I stayed in net for the full game with Off in the Woods. I got a bit of strategy going with that team, they used me at the back quite a bit and we played offensively. I let in three and none were scored, but my long balls got some work.

Today I felt better, and after the easiest exam I've ever taken, I played with the U of W soccer club. There were dozens (two dozen, to be exact) of players there today, so I made a team with some friends from present and future co-ed teams. After we got our asses handed to us a couple times and the crowd thinned out, we divided into two teams and played to 15. With a couple players that didn't match the skill level of the bunch of black guys that we played against, we ended up demolishing them 15-2. We passed incredibly, and not only defended well but came back to defend in numbers.

I played a pivotal role in the win, I assisted at least eight or nine of the goals, had a goal line clearance on a clear cut breakaway, and scored once from a nice low ranged shot. A couple of my assists were nice too. A couple stick out in my mind: the first, I flicked the ball over a defender's head to an open team mate making a run right next to the net from about 20 yards away. In the second, I took a ball out of the air, and my first touch set me up for an aerial pass that I made to an open team mate running to the far post, unmarked.

Regardless, while the opposition was skilled, they were only really with footwork, whille my team had some with footwork, a finisher (who "doesn't play often", but I told him to play up because I saw he had an eye for the open spaces, good positioning, and great finishing), a playmaker, and couple good defenders.

The aforementioned finisher scores six or seven goals, many of them assisted by me. We counter attacked well, and I found that the other team tended to leave him alone, probably because he wasn't as skillful as the rest of the players.

We had a great game, using each of our strengths very well, while exploiting the weaknesses of the other team brilliantly.

By the end of the game, I had garnered the nickname "Chelsea" for the jersey I wore.

Can't say I minded it, really.

"Now the Game can Begin"

2010-02-22T17:22:00.007-06:00

I finally made it out to my school's twice weekly futsal group, and I saw a few familiar faces from Jahan's old league, including Victor, the Brazilian with appropriate footwork that remembered my name quicker than I his (and I'm pretty decent with names). I ended up marking him for quite a while, and he's still good, but I've definitely improved compared to this time last year in all aspects.

With the small ball, it seemed easy to do tricks and such, and I ended up with five or six goals and around ten assists over the two hour game. There were other highlights, of course (like nutmegging some pretty decent guy) and all in all, it was good fun and a good challenge. In particular, it was physically demanding; I'm exhausted now, though that could also be due to waking up at seven A.M. for the first time in months.

It's definitely something I'm going to try to get to every chance possible, if it wasn't second division ball, practicing, and a high number of games that made me better, it was Jahan's league and teams. Most days, I expect it to be only a few people, but we'll see. Even if there aren't many people, it'll still be good competition and great training.

I also have a strength training routine planned out, and I should begin that soon as well; most likely Friday. The rest of my week is filled with physical activity.

"Josh, grow a pair." "No way!"

2010-02-21T04:36:00.007-06:00

Darn decent day, today.

I've been crap with training and the diet though. That beings said, in spite of how it may sound, there is no diet or true training regime.

However, no favors are done to any sort of bodily mechanism when I get McDonalds for dinner. What else is open at 10 at night, though? I ought to start packing my own meals, really. It's too bad I enjoy packing light so much. As well, there are a ton of logistics to go with it all. I have to say, baby steps must be taken though. We'll start with these for a week, I suppose:

Greasy food kept to an absolute minimum. The odd toad burger is fine, we'll say one cheat meal per week.
Water is the only beverage that should be consumed. Inebriation counts as a cheat meal.
No junk food, including snacks.

That should do for a week, I'll modify it at the end of the week. Training is difficult at the best of times, but I think regular games are enough for now. I'd like to use the school gym, but we'll see with time constraints and all.

The first (half) game was with a new team, sitting comfortably at the very bottom of division three. If any long-time viewers remember, I played in division 4 at the Highlander last winter season, and my team found it hard and sat on the bottom of the table. If I recall correctly (which I do), the White Eagles played them at one point in the "Battle of the Colored Animals". Due to bad attendance I was asked to come out, so I did, and played forward, which was really more of a free role.

The precession of events was strange, when it came down to it. Literally, I would get the ball, and nobody on their team would be able to do a thing. There were times where I'd take shot after shot for fun, their entire team would stand around. I scored on a left footed volley, a right footed volley, and a shot from the flank after I burned a defender. I had two assists as well, a left footed cross on a free kick to the far post that was headed in, and a ball I sent across the from of the net, right in front of it, for a tap-in.

When I left at half time, we were leading 7-0. We eventually won 12-1, and this stands as the greatest win margin thus far this season (in that league). The funny thing is that last week the very same two teams met, and my team was beaten 5-1.

Fun fact; I'm tied for 43rd on the scoring chart.

Here are some of the more interesting stats. I don't believe the Goals Scored stat has been updated. Also note the routine drubbings Red Dogs have faced this season.

At any rate, it was a good half game. The Chilly Willies game was the same in a different way; I also scored a hat trick, but had lost any sort of lustre. My three goals were as follows:

A tap into an empty from an impossible-to-miss distance*.
A tapped in ball between an opponents legs while he struggled to clear the ball.
A breakaway goal that was originally saved by the keeper, only to bounce off the guy running right behind me and into the top corner. The keeper was promptly tread on by his own player.

Three laughable goals, with me laughing all the way to the (goal) bank for the second time that night. I believe that puts me back in the top eight after a whole whack of missed games.

Fun fact; Twice, people complained about absolutely (and purposely) demolishing me on the field. Only once did the ref actually care, and he actually put up with the other guy saying that he was going to push me if I pushed him, which I didn't. It was (actually) just an out-classing (in more ways than one). The other ref yelled at my team's bench for protesting his terrible decision.

Curse my repertoire with referees. Apparently, I don't get calls because "I can bounce right back up". Go figure, no wonder I'm hurting†. Tune in next time for...

"Ridiculous Referees", or, "Greg is Dead because he is Fragile".

Same bad time, same bad URL†.

* - Please note that there are no impossible-to-miss distances in football. See: Scotland's Iwulemo.
† - I am actually hurting because I slid to block a ball, but fell on my ass much too hard. My left cheek is in severe discomfort.
‡ - Please note that the URL may change, due to the original URL being a mere placeholder for some fantastic idea that was eventually to stroll into my mind. Also, stay tuned for layout changes. Maybe.

The Dutch have a saying...

2010-02-18T00:06:00.004-06:00

Out of my own zeal, I had a foray as forward tonight. I did well, though I did neglect a crucial defensive duty at one point that allowed a goal that eventually would be the difference from getting a result. We lost 6-5 in a very fun game against a team that would be responsible for some good times.

So good, in fact, that we stayed half an hour late and played a scrub match on the open field against them.

Personally, my game went well. I didn't score, but I was threatening and creative. I would venture to say almost too creative.

Excuse my ego, but at one point I may've been as clever and quick-witted as I'll ever be in the span of half a second. You might even call me a flair player after witnessing my exploits.

On a dangerous diagonal run in front of their goal, I drew the attention of a defender and their goalie in a couple touches. I noticed one of our players coming in towards to far post behind me, effectively making a criss-cross with me. She was one of our defenders who never usually scores, so I wanted to make it easy. In that run, I stopped the ball and fooled their entire team, allowing for an open shot on goal which in turn was my fanciest assist ever.

My holding-up was good, my use of space was good, my ability to open the field up was useful; quite basically I make a decent forward. It's up for debate if I'm a better forward than midfielder, but as it stands, I don't mind playing both. Perhaps one hit against me playing forward is my presumed entitlement towards not defending - when we won a ball back I prepared to run up, though we lost it soon after. I ought to have ran back and defended a goal scorer, but I had lazy forward syndrome; which is an officially catalogued disorder in the DSM-IV. Best defined, its when a forward doesn't defend when he or she should.

Let's face it though, forwards are a intrinsicly fragile breed. I've heard feeling bad about letting in goals as an excuse for one to not play defense in order to give others a turn. The worst part? The excuse worked (and still does to this day).

Other notable points include burning a defender (who was either taking away my left footed shot or trying to force me a few miles to the edge of the pitch) with a stepover and shooting (horribly wide on a far post attempt), or having my first shot in the scrub game nestle itself right inside the edge of the goal from a long volley. Next time, I suppose.

Or maybe I'll just play defense to not allow counterattacks.

"He's Italian... But boy, is he good"

2010-02-17T18:46:00.003-06:00

There's a first time for everything. Some notable examples:

The conception of the universe.
An indirect left footed free-kick from 25 yards out that ends up in the net (with credit to me).
A post before a game.

I've skipped updating on a couple recent games, but I figure the minutae are redundant anyway. Suffice it to say that my defending's been pretty spot on these last few days, as well as my passing. My shooting? Ask the two or three shots I've taken. I need to ditch this idea that I have to spread the ball to everybody without fear of social backlash. I pass (more than) enough, I've maybe had five or six shots since my last post, which would be at least four games. Passing has been spectacular lately, I can find open players like nobody's business. Too bad it's not resulted in much.

One neat thing that happened yesterday was the quickest two touches I've ever had that resulted in a goal. It happened in about a quarter of a second, and found the bottom corner. A tidy goal to say the least. I managed to trap it with a planted foot while winding up the shot. Interesting

Today's game is against a team that's beaten us, but aside from that has largely been unsuccessful. We're missing a handful of players, but the playtime might be for the best; we'll see what we can do. Who knows where I'll be playing tonight, I'm guessing Mid, but with the absentees, I could be anywhere.

In other news, I've had a team offer for outdoor that I'm unsure about. What I'm looking for is playtime and practice time, and secondarily I'd like to get free registration and upper-level ball.

I'll have to start squeezing my contacts to see what I can do.

"Player of the game is Derek's hair"

2010-02-10T17:07:00.000-06:00

On Saturday night, we had a late game. 11 PM, to be precise. This was (obviously) hellaciously late, and to compound it all, we had a referee who is quite normally terrible. The game wasn't so bad, we won comfortably at 5-3 (With their last two coming late thanks to some defensive sloppiness), and I scored a treat and a half of a goal near in the first half.

The goal was a half volley taken down with my chest on the run after I headed it over some person then ran around them. I assisted another goal delivering a low cross inside the box to an unmarked teammate (my run had taken them all off him).

I've worked out the formation for the 7-a-side outdoor season recently, and in spite of spending about an hour tinkering with new formations (2-2-3, 2-3-2, etc...), I settled on pretty much the same formation as we've always used, the 3-3-1, with one minor difference; moving one of the defenders into a holding midfield role, acting as a deep-lying playmaker. The result is a 2-1-3-1, where the midfield plays higher up the pitch than usual. Width is also key in this formation, I hope to use it to spread defenses out with the advanced midfielders.

The positions will be a bit different, we used to all come back on defense, but now we'll be trying to counter as much as possible, so the wings will almost exclusively play wide and in an attacking manner. I'm debating getting the striker and attacking midfielder to come back, creating a huge gap in the center of the field when we're defending. The first attacking pass will be out wide, then the striker and attacking mid will break out and counter, with the holding midfielder following them shortly. From there, the strategy would be to (probably) either carry it up the side, deliver a lead pass to the striker, or a square pass to the attacking midfielder. Aside from the counter, generally play would be wide and involve working it around the defense, spreading them out, and counting on go-and-gos and individual skill to split the defense.

This season, pre-season practices will be (somewhat) mandatory, as well, in order to show interest in playing. We had a few issues last year with attendance, so hopefully this makes the team take it more seriously. Maybe, if there were a little more competition the team would take it more seriously as well.

Normally, I'm a pretty optimistic fellow, though tonight's game against friendly rivals Superfriends spells trouble for us. They're atop the league with a perfect record and a massive amount of goals scored for, and their goals against record is even better.

Anything but a drubbing would be a positive result, but we'll see.

Knock knock

2010-02-04T00:08:00.008-06:00

Hopefully these two most recent updates aren't just a temporary glimmer in the vast emptiness of my recent blogging activity. I do intend on making updating a regular occurance again, but the usual cop out of "I've too much to do" seems likely.

One thing that's recently become a strength of mine is tactical awareness. For example, I've seen that with Team G, teams tend to defend way behind us, possibly due to their own modifications. Let's face it, we have one trick in the bag; the counterattack.

If you compare the amount of goals scored from set pieces/open play/counters, you would probably find that we score minimally on set pieces (free kicks taken as shots), incredibly rarely during open play, and almost entirely on the counter.

I've a few theories as to why this is the case:

Most of the players have little to no actual soccer training.
Everybody wants deadly through balls so they can get the goal (we're historically a team with minimal passing).
It suits certain players on the team. Early in our history, frequently Jay would just carry the ball the entire way to the goal. The strategy that worked for a while was that forwards would move up, dragging defenders from Jay.
We have fast players and a few midfielders with a good eye for spaces in the defense that can be exploited.
Nobody knows to come to passes when they're not through balls, or make themselves space. With that, few of us simply do not know how to play in open play.

Regardless, today, I noticed that the team I played against with the Chilly Willies was quite slow to defend, so counter attacking really took them apart. I believe the final score was 8-3, and I had a goal and at least one assist, and a couple good chances thanks to good movement.

My one goal was quite fancy. It was a 3-on-3, so I took a bit of time to move the ball into a good attacking position. At about a 13 yards out, I noticed I still had quite a bit of space, so I let loose a relatively tame shot for the top left corner. My accuracy was spot on, thankfully.

I passed smartly today, almost scored on a free kick, and found good space for passes and runs. My marking and defense was unspectacular, but it wasn't really required - I forced their star player to long shots and made a few important steals and blocks.

There were a few bloopers though, including a handball in my team's penalty box that went unseen by pretty much everybody (in my defense, it was rifled and just hit my arm that was near my body), and I blew a good chance when a cross surprised me and hit me in the chest right in front of the opposition's net.

At one point I unleashed a cute little volley with my left foot right at the goalkeeper from close range, by it was unfortunately saved. However, good can be taken from that - my left foot is becoming better daily. And to think, a couple years back, I was absolute crap with it.

My next game is Friday, and tomorrow I've got a fairly packed schedule that I need to find time to write a research proposal due the day after. On the positive side, it's only a few hundred words, if that. It's for that coaching young sprouts class, and I'd like to write on something quite relevent to footie, if possible. I've been tinkering with the idea of effective warm-ups at the beginning of practice, but we'll see.

"Ahh, the three minute mark. When retards make themselves known."

2010-02-03T00:23:00.005-06:00

I've been far too busy to even consider updating, but rest assured, an update is needed and in demand (!).

To give a brief rundown of my life in its current state:

I've been practically living with Stephen and Carissa as there's an issue with my license and my bad decision to wait until March to get a one-piece license. Oppsie.
I'm back at work, still paying off the good old Toronto trip of last summer. Particularly proud of a hundred dollar dent I made yesterday.
I'm back at school, learning the ins and outs of 6 classes this term: History of Science, History of Modern Europe, Coaching Basics, Social Psychology, Genetics in Psychology, and Coaching Soccer¹.
I'm playing on six teams, and was invited on three (though one was a joke) teams today. The joke team was Ballistic, a team with a clear grudge against us, and particularly me.

I played twice today, scored a hattrick to end a goal drought that was due to passing far too much. The first was a ball coming to me in the box while I was relatively unmarked, so I picked the corner of one of the tiny OLV nets. The second was a tap in from close range, and the third was a hideous deflection. This was with Off in the Woods.

Earlier, I had gone a touch overboard in my instructing soccer class and slide tackled quite close to somebody who softly touched a ball into a net. Morals of the story:

Don't be a puss, just bloody well do it.
I didn't hurt him.
Ryan's a cool guy.

But really, coaching soccer, the course, is amazing. We've had presentations from some interesting people, create our own questions for the exam, and coach each other exercises every other day.

I've also got into reading about soccer, as well. I picked up this book from the library from the early eighties about coaching the whirl. Absolutely amazing, and what's better is that I can pick it up for fifteen cents. Of course, the material is a touch dated, but Christ, I'm on my second read through, and if that isn't the most amazing in the universe², I'd rather not try to fathom what is.

I've turned into a much more clinical passer lately, at the expense of having more goals. I'm really not sure what is better; I often see a few chances come and go for those that lack a finishing grace.

Though I do think I'm starting to develop a reputation playing against teams. So often, people will back off me and give me many, many seconds on the ball before I do something. In an unrelated but still interesting note, I think I'm turning into an ideal defender too. Strange.

Well, thoughts are turning into a jumble, so I ought to stop listening to prog rock and go to bed. I promise, I'll get more flamboyant with my writing again soon, I just needed a warm-up.

Coming soon; Jahan makes a return to the blog.

¹ - Ordered from moderately interesting to "bloody hell, I get to play footie for a class".
² - I am not much of a reader.

She ran through us like a... Unicorn...

2009-11-21T05:47:00.008-06:00

I had a strange day today. For starters, I have had three hours of sleep in the last 37, and am feeling fine. Could I non-consciously be shifting to a polyphasic sleep schedule? Who knows.

Team G had a game last night, followed by a good old-fashioned meal, after which Derek and I hung out and spoke of the game and Thierry Henry's handball. I beat Derek to his house, having to drop of Steve and Carissa, so I decided to catch a few z's in my car, which recently had his 250-thousandth kilometerday, on which I bought him (Charlie, the car) an X-treme car wash.

Derek woke me in in the most horrifying way I've ever experienced; he shook the car. What must have been one second of confusion felt much longer than that, and I felt as though I had just driven my car into a river, with Steve and Carissa inside. What happened next is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure I tried to say sorry to Steve and Carissa for killing them, before flinging various items around my car so violently I messed up my rear-view mirror in the process.

All the while, Derek was laughing hysterically outside of the car while I panicked for my life, at two in the morning, on his driveway. What else could friends possibly be for?

I'm glad it happened though, for I think I've learned a few things from the experience:

I've learned that it's mighty scary.
I've learned the importance of not driving your car into a river.
I've experienced it, so the next time it happens I should be able to cope with it better. That, or I'll just curl up into a ball and whimper if it ever happens again.

So after Derek and I went over the game, I left for home, where a pleasant surprise awaited me; I had an envelope from my university containing a test I had taken a few weeks prior on my desk. I opened it up, and it turns out I aced it. As in, actually, 100% aced it. I'm not sure how I did that, I had an hour and a half of sleep, and I rushed through all of the online lectures while playing video games.

The game Derek and I went over was a rough one with a ref that (Resa and I both believe) had a grudge on our team, and in particular me, for fouling him pretty badly a couple weeks back. I was fouled for card-able offenses at least 4 times, none of them resulting in cards. I didn't get injured, but here's a short run down of some of the more marquee moments I was fouled in.

First, there's my first few touches of the ball. I had two defenders in front of me, so I scooped it lightly between them and then went off the the races. I ran around the first guy's outstretched leg, then got an absolute haymaker of a toe-punt to the shin.

Second, I went up to win a header, and won it. In fact, I didn't even touch the guy, but when I came down I was running alongside him. I'm not sure why, but he decided this an excellent time to backhand me in the chest somewhat lightly. I told him in a nutshell that that's not how you play football, and he responded by emphatically ("Bang!") dispossessing me a few minutes later, when I had received a bad pass. I showed the idiot what was up, and as he ran down the sidelines once, I nudged him and knocked the ball away pretty well.

Third, fourth, fifth, and probably a few more are quite similar in nature; I had ran by some defender(s) and I was subsequently fouled pretty much every time.

With what could've been my Waterloo had I not made a very important decision earlier that day*, I was holding the ball up in the corner against two players. One girl decided to try and neuter me. My legs were spread, so this wench decided to hoof me as hard as she could in the slats. Oddly enough, the amoebic nature of my junk decided to render the entirety of this deathblow useless, but I was still a little deranged from the attempt. At this point I was done with the terrible officiating, so I quite literally thrust my ass out to push this girl away, and I knocked the behemoth clean over. The other guy that I had mentioned was covering me tried to pin me in the corner by closing me down was easily dangled, and he ended up falling over as I went backwards up our sideline slightly. I cut in with the ball on my right foot, and attracted yet another defender, who I handled with speed in a short couple of steps. His attempt to block the shot that housed the anger of three-hundred legions of ballistic† vikings was futile, and he fell over in the process, as well. The shot screamed, no, roared towards the near post, and sent their goalie the entirely wrong way, effectively leaving him grounded as well.

I turned around, and walked off the field in a quiet state, if I remember correctly. I had, in one way or another, bested four of six of their entire team in a few short seconds, but at that moment, it didn't seem like it. Until Resa told me at dinner, I had no idea that there were three of them, not including the goalie, still on the ground as I walked back to the bench.

It's strange, sometimes in games I just turn completely emotionless, and don't even celebrate goals I score. What I'm about to say definitely would warrant somebody to say "Stop being such a bloody moron", but, in complete honesty, it seems like I actually go into a strange trance-like state for a short while. Today was a fine example, but another I can refer to was when I scored the goal that put us into the finals of our title-winning year; I turned around and began walking calmly to centre, and about ten seconds later the realization hit me that I had just done what I did, and I jumped into the air throwing a triumphant fist pump to the heavens. I think I screamed a little too, and ran out really fast with, well, a look quite similar to what I would perceive a combination of every expression in the following picture.

And yes, my hands were posed in the same way. However, imagine all of that, while running around wildly.

Apparently, good things happen in the trance, and so I need to figure out how to force it upon myself as opposed to waiting to have it thrust onto me by some strange, unpredictable circumstance. I've noticed it occurs when I'm extremely focused or extremely driven, the first being an example of the playoff goal instance, and the second being an example of how I wanted to just rip the opposition apart myself. Insult me if you will, but I'm genuinely convinced that this isn't some strange notion I get about myself because I'm as vain as they come.

Over dinner, we discussed what it looked like from the bench when the girl tried to put me in a world of pain, and the common consensus was that the following picture fit the bill quite nicely. In fact, the event reminded Jay of this picture.

Sans screaming and with more blind determination, of course. And yes, I actually did see her knee on the wrong side of my body.

In a game that should have resulted in a drubbing in our favor, we won 4-1, and I believe that is largely due to the officiating. I assisted one of the other goals when I directed a header to a team mate off a clearance, and created a double-"Ohhh" moment from our bench when I played a fantastic no-look one-two with Shaun which resulted in volleys that were just shy for both of us.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how absolutely hilarious it was that I had no emotional or physical component to go along with being kicked in the danger zone, and that it had done so much as only justify me to ass-check that girl.

There is no question in my mind, I must have seemed like a psycho, a robot, or a psychotic robot.

* - I had no clean compression shorts, so I was going to purchase some that day. I distinctly remember telling Steve that if I were to forget to buy a pair, I'd play commando. I did forget, and I did play commando. I am incredibly thankful for it; had I not, my package would have likely been held in place by the shorts, and I would probably be hospitalized right now while some unfortunate doctor would be searching my intestines for one of my testicles, and the field of the coverall for the other.

† - Pun alert. The team we played was Ballistic. I suppose "really mean" would fit in there as well, but that's not the team we faced.

Alright, Ronaldo.

2009-11-19T06:27:00.013-06:00

Good ~~old~~ two-post Thursdays.

I really think that the first post today will be a "classic" of this blog, if this blog were to ever garner the recognition of more than one fan. Thanks Derek.

Not a few hours ago, Team G played at the Coverall. Turns out any rivals we had were moved up in the divisional hierarchy, as well as two of the three guys who really have a chance to catch me in the top scorer's list. The other is Jeff, on my own team, and he's at six. I am confident, but you really wouldn't believe this guy. He's impossible to describe as a person or football player without the words "hard shot", "spastic", and "lucky", or any of their synonyms.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, except for when he used Dan's hand to smack me in the face.

But really, I'm not sure how he does it. Like a few of our team mates, he takes shots from impossible angles, and he often runs down the boards right into people. Somehow, the ball and him get by, ad he keeps going. This fellow has absolutely no technique, other than the variety required for ludicrously hard shots, nor does he have any position sense. He's a cherry-picking midfielder, if you will, but he somehow gets back to defend. I don't play on the same line as him often (both of us being midfielders in a 2-1-2 formation), but from my understanding, people that play with him just let him do his thing, whatever it may be.

I recall the first time I saw him play, he wanted to use a move to pass a defender, so he put his hands out as though he were pushing an enormous stone that was quite close to him, and moved his hands up and down in small, quick movements, while stepping quite rapidly, all the while, going at a quick speed down the field with the ball somewhat near his feet. If I recall correctly, the result was him flying into the boards and falling over due to nobody's fault but his own. Another half decent analogy for the maneuver would be giving a large person a brisk Eastern-European-style massage, while preforming some sort of sacred ceremonial dance taken from the finest medicine men of the Western Aboriginals.

To this day, I've never seen him attempt a step-over, lower a shoulder (for faking purposes), or (god forbid) try his luck with a roulette, but somehow, he doesn't need them. He's a fast kid with a great work rate, and the way he runs down the field screams "Watch out, seriously, I'll hurt the both of us."

To this day, he denies ever flailing his arms while running, but everybody else (including me) attests to it. I must say, I do a pretty good impression of it, myself.

Reading this, you may think to yourself, "This kid's a threat to your top-scoring superiority?" Yes, he is. Unless, of course, his uncontrollable body ends up breaking his foot again by missing one of his howitzer-esque shots and kicking the ground. His blessing was a curse in that instance.

Today, the team we played really didn't put up a fight. We won 9-2, or something like that, and I scored on three volleys with my right foot. I should've had more, but I had a bit of an off day. Today was one of those games where your opponents don't close you down, they didn't block your shots, and they didn't really run much. Maybe I should find some stiffer competition, because I think I played down a slight bit. While I was juggling at half, their goalie kept calling me Ronaldo (at least three or four times). I'm not sure if he was heckling me or whatever, but I'll take it all as a compliment.

Jeff scored three as well. The first was a free kick he shot the the bottom-center of the net, the next was a hard shot from an impossible angle, and then the last was a hard shot after running through (literally, they line up on the boards and he just squeezes by) two or three players, then the goalie.

That being said, I'm still above him by five, four games in.

* - Denotes that they are no longer in this league. FC Inter was moved up, and Colin was moved up to the C team.

This is most definitely going to go ass-up on me, as I asked the league manager if there'll be trophies for the top scorers. He said no, but I arranged with him to pay for my own trophy. Karma is a cruel mistress, though, so I'm on the lookout.

I don't think I've ever been so hungry for anything though, really. Except natural requirements, such as sleep, or food. Look at the last few times of posts, my slumber schedule is truly "whack". Some might even say I have DSPS, and I'll give you a hint; It's not Defense Support Program Satellite.

Though I'm sure I wouldn't having mind that.

I am working on getting out of this (commonly occurring) nocturnal phase. Just yesterday, I went to my first morning class in weeks, right about at the time I'd be a few hours into my sleep. On my way to school, I saw two sheep just hanging out at the side of the road, and began to laugh for no good reason. Do you get the irony that I just now got myself? If not, give it a bit of thought first, please.† After my morning courses, I went home and slept for four and a half hours, then went to work, then the game. I should be tired, having four-and-a-half hours of sleep in the last thirty-nine. However, I'm not all that sleepy, so I'll leave you with a decent story.

Today, at work, an extraordinarily beautiful girl came in with a team, and as I set up the net, began to talk to me. I had my trusty Wolverine Badminton shirt on, so she asked if I came from West Kildonan Collegiate, the school of the Wolverines. I said yeah, and we spoke about graduating classes. She graduated three years before me (2003), and we joked around and spoke about about other things for a while. Things were going truly well. When we got to the names part, I she turned out to be a Michelle. Michelle looked somewhat familiar, but I had assumed that was because she went to my school at the same time I did. As it turns out, she was a good friend of my older sister's, and I knew this because of her last name.

Immediately, any chances to treat this fine lady to a wonderful night out went down the drain, and you may be asking why. Well, back when my sister hung out with her pals at my house, there was one instance where they were watching some strange dance-music television show where people just clubbed it up and were videotaped. I was offered five dollars by one of my sister's other pals to imitate how the dancers danced on the television.

Being around 10-12 years old, I gladly accepted. Five chocolate bars was a veritable gold mine for a chocolate-craving, hyperactive banshee, you know. I still don't regret it.

I really have to move these two-post days to Tuesday.

† - I should've been counting sheep as I was counting sheep.

The Dental Episode

2009-11-19T05:21:00.007-06:00

I suppose, with yesterday and today's games, I should do yesterday's first.

On Tuesday, I played three of the four games at work. All three were largely uneventful, and the last was one I ought to have been reffing anyway.

When I say largely uneventful, aside from some assists and such, there was one occurrence. I chipped a tooth.

Many might think, "Oh, well, it's small, so whatever."

Yes and no.

Yes, in the sense that it can be fixed. Also yes, in the sense that it can be fixed.

No, in the sense that I hate having "permanent fixes" in my mouth. It just doesn't feel like the real thing. I'm not sure why, but I've always been a purist in those regards. If you know me well, you may know that I'm not a fan of tattoos, piercings, et cetera. I feel like some old grandpa at times with my beliefs, but I suppose there's a decent reason. My feelings used to be way stronger, but in recent months they've abated. Maybe I just don't care as much anymore.

Anyways...

I bloody well hate damaging my teeth, but I suppose I cut a pretty understanding character when I just said "Ow" then spit out a chunk of tooth. A small one, at that, but nevertheless, a part of my tooth. I'll go to the dentist's to cap it up tomorrow, or something, but I'll most likely postpone it weeks.

Perhaps not though, I am a pretty vain person, and I do recognize that the last time I was at the dentist's office, I was fully anesthetized, and decided that after my wisdom teeth were removed, I could walk out of the office without help from the nurse. And that I could drive.

Thankfully, my dad was there, and didn't let me drive.

Anyways...

My dental agenda is to get everything fixed up after my soccer "career" is done. Braces, filings, hopefully no fillings, and all that stuff. Here is a fun collection of dental Greg facts for you:

I had a small cover-like-object placed over a front tooth as a child because of some discoloration.
The only other time I've had chipped teeth was the result of trying to backflip off a tube that was being pulled by a boat going a handful of kilometers an hour. I chipped both front teeth (central incisors).
On one of my lateral incisors, I have what looks like a small "L" that might also be a chip. It's strange, because it's on the face, not a corner. I was always suspicious of my sister carving it on me when I was younger, as her name starts with "L"; Lindsey.
I required four days of healing and no pain killers while healing from my wisdom teeth surgery. The two more annoying parts of the procedure were that I got rice stuck in the gaps left behind the day after, and that I coughed up a piece of bloody gauze a couple days after that. I do realize, I had it good compared to many who get their wisdom teeth removed.

Anyways...

The damage came from a stray ball kicked by one of those girls who just lashes at the ball with her arms pressed against her chest in the fashion that her softly closed hands are inches from a chin home to a quivering look of worry. Other damage included a bit tongue, a sprained jaw, and my ego.

Figure that one out.

In fact, figure out everything I just posted.

In other news, the rest of the soccer that night was pretty dull, aside from teams bothering me to see the chipped tooth which I was ashamed to show them, and a pretty rough game at the end of the night. All three teams I played on lost. Do I ever hate small nets.

Ha ha you just got judged by a girl with shorts cut to her labia.

2009-11-17T05:12:00.003-06:00

Sunday's Chillies game was against a tough team, against at least one player that I've faced before. He's pretty good, and definitely used to be better than me, but I really think that I've progressed to the point of being a better player than him. That being said, we vary in many attributes, and he's more of a striker than I am (better finishing, harder shot), but my dribbling is better, my left foot's better, and I can contain him while playing defense, while he can't contain me.

That being said, he scored the first goal for the opposition as I (sort of) marked him, because I was pulled off my marker because a teammate got dangled. I ran at the guy who got by, and he had a shot, but he passed it.

I assisted one of our goals when I sprinted up with the ball with one man to beat, but beyond that, I had no other direct contributions. I missed two free kicks fairly badly, too.

However, I was crowned king of the dangles by rainbowing some guy pretty badly. I'd have had a good shot on goal had I not been fouled.

Mine was better. Seriously.

But I bloody well rainbowed a guy. It was the best thing I have ever done in my entire life. It was somewhat spur of the moment, too. I thought to myself quickly "how should I creatively beat this guy?", and the rainbow was my first though. The conditions were perfect; he was placed the ideal distance from me, he was never going to expect it, and he wasn't closing me down. to pull it out, and so I took a small touch, and executed it perfectly. I flicked it over my left shoulder, and ran to his right shoulder, so I got the bloody thing right over his head.

The best part was the cheering that came from my bench afterwards. I came off after I took the free kick fairly badly, and gloated a little.

We ended up losing 5-3, in spite of being dominated in the first quarter of the game. I thought the scoreline was nice considering that, but we definitely played much better in the second half. We had them on their heels too, at some points. A fun game though, for sure, aside from the fact that I had three other partners playing midfield with me. Afterward, I got kicked out of Hooters, hence the title.

In Memory of Robert Enke

2009-11-12T04:55:00.010-06:00

Tuesday night was one unlike many others. Team G played a game at the good old Coverall, but more importantly, Robert Enke, a man who I admire committed suicide. Obviously, I did not know him personally, though through various accounts, he was a great man. Many see suicide as a selfish act, but every case is different, and thus it's extremely difficult to make that sort of blanket statement with any sort of accuracy. There is always a bigger picture. Rest in peace.

The game on Tuesday was against a team that I had been licking my chops to play against. The team they played before us, Inter FC, destroyed them 12-2, and I consider my team about equal with them. I was fortunate to not be in too much pain from my ankle injury, or too sick, so I played, and got a lot of play time, as we had a fairly small squad.

Hearing about the news of Enke's death beforehand, I felt as though any goals I scored should be in his memory. It seems superstitious and largely pointless, but I see it as the only thing I can do to show respect to a man I have sat in awe watching videos of during late night Youtube sessions.

Arriving somewhat late to the game, I had bandaged up my foot to prevent further damage, and for some reason, Colin, my midfield partner, was required to stay on for about 7 minutes before Derek replaced him out of pity. I'm sure he didn't mind though, he had a particularly prolific game, with 5 goals. That, and he's a nice guy.

I got on, and in my first carry of the ball, encountered a defender who decided to use the shuffle step defense method. I stopped the ball and let him come at me, half in awe, half in disbelief, and so I just put the ball on one side of him, and ran the other. He hugged me as I passed, so I felt it was going to be one of those games. Fortunately, it wasn't, though rugburn on my elbow, knee, and awkwardly enough, my shoulder would beg to differ. I clumsily hauled a guy down later at one point myself, but I did get ball, so in part, I'm being a bit of a hypocrite. While we're on that topic, I was brought down fairly ruthlessly by a guy who just hacked my leg as a was well past him, and the resultant free kick was a beautiful curling effort from about 17 yards out, that was about a foot shy of the top corner I aimed for. It was alright though, as I had four goals, including a perfect hat trick*, and we won 10-1.

My first goal, I received possession close to our own net. As I prepared for a Messi-esque run, I realized that there was nobody coming to close me down, or even remotely in front of me, so I hit full speed while dribbling and blew right by everybody, then tapped in with my right foot.

My next goal was similar, I had the ball on the right flank, and ran diagonally at the goal, banked the ball in off the near post. The run wasn't nearly as long, though.

The header came next, Derek took a free kick with his bad foot, and though he was aiming for me, missed. The ball bounced off the boards and then up to my head, so I nodded it and it trickled in.

The completion came when I had the ball in front of the net with, again, nobody covering me. I was running sideways for some reason, and I spun and shot with my left while horrendously off balance. After a bit of running to regain my balance, I ended up tumbling to the ground, hilariously.

I'm not sure which I'm more proud of:

A four goal game with a perfect hat trick.
Playing well, according to anybody whose opinion I received.
This;

Take that, Italy.

There's my conquest of the week. I'm not sure if it'll be a two, three, or whatever horse race for the golden boot, but if i win it and don't get a trophy at the end of the season, I don't care, I'm making one myself.

In addition to that, I made a bet with Josh about the bicycle kicks I keep not doing for the sake of others' safety. Basically, I will win the goal of the season trophy (made by Josh) by scoring on a bicycle kick in a game. If I have to, I will showboat to get it. I have a couple ideas on how to set myself up for a bicycle kick.

In addition to that game, I played two games at work. After playing an entire match the the Wannabees where I got headbutted in the temple, I was pretty tired, but still managed some nice little moves off, including Ribery's little gimmick;

Wowwee, kiddo.

I then played goalie for one half for Off in the Woods, then out for the second have of the same game, for The Soccer Team, who bought me a lovely birthday card. Gosh, the smallest things.

* - "... the golden or perfect hat trick ... tremendous skill ... the player must score three goals: one from the right foot, one from the left and one from the head." - Source

You're a Soccer God

2009-11-08T04:29:00.005-06:00

When it rains, it pours.

At least, with complements, anyway. This one might've beaten the last, it's pretty good.

I've come to the notion that I need to move forward as far as opportunities to play go. How I do this, I'm not sure, but I have to get going on it. As an axiom I read on a window tonight says, "time is your most valuable resource". I suppose I should brainstorm a couple goals I need to attain very quickly. I suppose I could start with "find a team that I can learn from, and play a lot with".

The Chillies won a game 5-1 tonight. Sometimes, I feel unfulfilled playing in a lower division. I danced around these guys whenever I felt like it, and focused a lot on passing to my teammates in front of open nets. I took three shots, all three placed just a short distance wide. Hilariously enough, I hit the near post so strangely (from quite an angle, too), it ricocheted just past the far post. Of course, practicing placement is lovely and all, but sometimes low leveled players can really do some reckless stuff. I re-sprained my ankle by getting in the way of a shot that was from an unthinkable distance out. I'm not sure why I blocked it, but this guy was far out and wide, and he really toe-punted the hell out of that thing.

Sometimes I don't know why I bother. I should be on it in a week, but I'll have to be Tuesday, if I want to keep getting game time.

"Look where the ball is, I won it!"

2009-11-06T03:27:00.005-06:00

Last night's (tonight's?) game was ripe with frustration, but not because I couldn't score or anything like that. Again, the issue was that I got absolutely no protection from the ref, aside from an extremely blatant foul that fortunately was called. It got to the point, where around one of their players who was particularly disgruntled, I had to brace myself against the boards because I knew he was coming for blood.

Earlier in the game, that same guy fouled me by basically hip checking me into the boards as I beat him. He had some great rationale, as seen in this post's title. Because of this, I was more focused with playing with force than finesse. Fortunately, that was the only time where I got knocked to the ground. Most of the other fouls were subtle elbows to knock me off my center of balance, and when I grazed by a guy (who I beat quite quickly) to get position, I got called.

In spite of my gripes, I was told I had a good game. I was tenacious, particularly at the end of the game, because I was focused on just getting a bloody goal to make it all seem worth it. I neglected this because of better passing options, which were fruitless. I don't feel particularly as though the game I had played was good, because I wasn't able to beat people like I had in the previous couple of matches. In part, this was because I got fouled off the ball early and often, and so it made me more reserved about going crazy with the run-ups. Also, the ball didn't come to me as much as I'd have liked, so the opportunities were limited. Perhaps a teammate's logic had the best impact on what I should do, (though he was probably trying to impress his new girlfriend); "I shot it because we were up four one and I hadn't got a shot all game".

Maybe I should shoot instead of passing to him next time. After all, with most teams, three-on-ones or three-on-a-goalie results in a goal.

In spite of my particular bad luck in getting passes that could give me any scoring opportunity, we still won 4-1. Perhaps, like last game, it was the line I was on, or perhaps they just guarded themselves from counterattacks very well.

Whatever the problem, I'm excited for the weekend, sans a couple essays that have been nagging to be done for a while now.

Also, as an aside, that moron fucked up my knee, it feels pretty tender.

Time for Two-Post Tuesday Thursday

2009-11-05T01:50:00.002-06:00

Before I begin, let me just say that many, many of the people I've spoken to really doubt the severity of the swine flu, me being at the forefront of it. I've wanted to contract it, in order to prove to everybody that it's really not that bad (he's just misunderstood, I suppose).

Looks like my wish might just come true. These past couple days I've had some typical symptoms, aside from a truly noticeable rise in temperature. Of course, this could be any number of things, but with the amount of contact I get with people, I wouldn't doubt that is indeed H1n1. It's not big deal though, everybody, I intend on playing soccer and writing from the grave, if that's where I end up. For my one fan, it'll be like I never left. One fan. Wow. I feel like Flight of the Conchords.

At any rate, I played two games last night, and was abnormally tired by the second game. Mind you, this is probably because I played the entirety of the first and 90% of the second. In the first game, I scored two in a 5-4 loss with a team that I am "officially" a member of, called Off in the Woods. If you're wondering about the name, hilarity is supposed to ensue when another team beats us. Ha.

My first goal was a neat little dummy that a girl set up by saying "take it" as I ran by her. Indeed, I took it, and slotted into the far post from an extremely tight angle on a net two meters wide. The second was inspired by my good English chap Hadley, who called me Ronaldinho as I dribbled (either through the air or on the ground) through a crowd of people. I shot once, got the rebound, and shot againthrough a wad of people and scored. I felt like the good old Brazilian for a short while. That goal put us ahead, and then they countered with two goals to win.

The final game of the night was with the Wannabees, who wanted to play because they had four girls and a goalie. I obliged, even though the team we played was The Soccer Team, another one of my "official" teams. The Wannabees won 5-1, two of the goals were mine, and I think I assisted the three other taps ins that were had. The first goal was a dime-a-dozen dribble and shoot from a not-so-far distance. The second, however, was a piece of brilliance.

Their goalie (and a science teacher at my former high school) ran parallel from his net to clear a ball, and he cleared it right to me, at half (roughly 15 meters away in that puny gym). I took two touches - the first, I kneed it with my left leg over to my right foot, and then volleyed it without it touching the ground. Like a child on his first tricycle, it went hard and fast to the target.

Both goals I felt guilty about. The Wannabees certainly at it up though, we/they've improved since their first season's finish (last).

In loving memory...

2009-11-04T22:59:00.007-06:00

In my recap of the summer, I forgot to mention one important match I had with the Hurricanes. It was my first match playing sweeper (and the team's second last), and early on I went in to make a slide tackle on some guy carrying the ball up the side. The result(s)? I knocked the ball out of bounds, and the following occured:

From the guy's cleat when he jumped on me.

Note the black area. I placed a binder inside the jersey to showcase the rip that the cleats caused.

A better picture of a blood stain in the second picture.

Needless to say, it hurt. However, the fact the I got up and continued playing after a large groan still fills me with pride, and so I am keeping the (unwashed, unmended) jersey around in a plastic bag until I see fit, which will likely be forever. I suppose I'm lucky my liver wasn't perforated or something silly like that, nor that my skin was torn open. Between that and the fact that my cleats had been falling apart, I looked like I was playing just after getting in a brutal street fight.

One of the "old hombres" that had served me well through four outdoor seasons. They were a pair of Adidas Traxions, and "trax'd" they did.

Those boots deserve a monologue for all they've done for me, so here it is. Normally I'm not the sentimental type, but those cleats saw me at my very worst, and lasted better than I could've ever imagined when I bought them for some paltry fee. I remember the first real contribution I had in outdoor soccer with them; I had been playing left midfield in highschool footie, and I delivered a long through ball to a striker, which he went on to score from. We won the game by a landslide, but regardless, I had contributed. Up until their last days where they were even duct taped together, they had been getting the job done, regardless of whether the eventual wear had caused a nail that held the sole in place to cut my foot open or not, or whether the side (shown in the picture) was splitting or not. The very least that could be said about those two faithful allies was that they were my first pair of real boots, and were a testament to all boots out there. Through what must've been at least a hundred games played with them, they have set a benchmark for other cleats, but at the same time, they have filled me with hope for when I purchase a new pair, for I know that there must be cleats as expertly crafted as those.

Thank you, old hombres. You will be missed.

The Gypsy of the Coverall

2009-11-03T02:54:00.006-06:00

I asked Derek about who I've been reminding him of lately, after taking his advice on using my speed. In all honesty, I've been making a lot of Messi-esque runs lately. That being said, I'm nowhere near equal to him, but there is no shadow of a doubt in my mind that I've improved recently.

Messi.

Derek's answer was probably the best compliment anybody's given me in months. He thought I was comparable to Cesc Fabregas, "Cause theres a lot of raw talent there with the potential to improve. Good vision with the ball, but doesn't score as often as u/he could". Wow. Just, wow. That text message will forever bring a smile to my face. What makes it all the nicer is, if you're easily provoked to remember nuances (and have read the particular post) when Michele mentioned he thought the best player in the world was Cesc Fabregas. There's a strange coincidence between this entry and that one, other than the whole Fabregas deal - see if you can figure it out. As always, the answer is at the end of this post.

Before we get too far into that, I'd like to recap a game from last Wednesday, with the Chilly Willies.

First, there's a gulf in talent the size of my town between the leagues, so I used it as good opportunity to pass the ball around to my new teammates and get a feel for how they play. I ended up getting one or two assists and a couple nice goals in our game to seed us in a higher league - we won 10-5. There's a huge issue about fitness though, you know it's bad when teammates have to go throw up. Fortunately, I wasn't one.

The first of my goals was a long curling shot headed for the bottom corner. I had the time to do so, so I fired a speculative shot from about fifteen yards out. It was quite nice, indeed. The second goal was a classic turn & shoot from the top right corner of the box, that went across the keeper, bounced off the far post and went in. A huge thank you to the EPL commentators for telling me a couple days previous that those sort of shots were hard to save. 'Bout time I learned from TV.

Now, today, with Team Gigantic, I started on a shift with a few of our more inexperienced players. The opposition, who were aptly named the Smurfs (They were blue and troublemakers) began hammering us, shot after shot. They eventually got a free kick and scored off the rebound due to a lack of marking, then turned up the heat again when they (quickly) regained possession. The first time the ball hit my feet, I literally thought "Fuck this" to myself, and began sprinting to their goal from 4/5ths of the field away. It was almost as though I saw red for a short while, literally - I wanted that goal. I darted and dashed through many a player, and when I had made it past enough of them, which was many three or four defenders, and let it rip, and nailed the crossbar with quite a bit more force than Newton's laws could calculate. I think, in that short second, my heart broke then quickly fixed itself.

My lack of touch/luck for goals in that game really didn't subside until the dying few minutes, where I hit a normally pretty easy shot pretty badly. It was headed well wide, easily by 5 meters, when a poor girl happened to cower in its way. The second the ball hit my foot, I knew it was terrible, and I was about to turn and throw my palm into my face, or vice-versa. It just so happened that the fearful member of their team deflected it with a surprising amount of force into their net, and thus, I had my goal. I'm sitting on four goals in two games, which isn't all that bad. I'm proud to be leading the team, but ashamed to not be leading the league, which is the ultimate goal for the quenching of my ego. Unfortunately for me, some guy managed two hat tricks in two games.

Maybe I should aim for second best. That, or I can see if I've got any more five-goal games in me.

I suppose the 5-2 victory was bittersweet, as I absolutely had the shit kicked out of me. I distinctly remember flying a couple times due to challenges from various men built like bags of bricks. I should maybe ask Fabio to protect me a little more.

Answer to quiz: In both posts, Team Gigantic had played the Smurfs.

The End of a Hiatus

2009-10-28T02:44:00.002-05:00

I skirted my responsibility at the start of summer to write my blog, and I really wanted to get back on track this whole time. There probably wasn't a better time to do this than now, so I figure, why not now? Here are a few good reasons:

It's four in the morning.
I have classes starting at 9:30 tomorrow.
It's four in the morning.

The reason I'm up at this hour is because ofxams. Fortunately, my midterms are over, however, only recently. They ended up turning me nocturnal, somewhat.

Alright, so here's the extremely truncated lowdown of the summer:

The St. James Hurricanes avoided relegation. Barely. I played in every position at different parts of the season, and ended up being most effective as a sweeper. Now, you may be making a strange face at your monitor at this point, but apparently, it worked. We were in a HUGE relegation scrap near the end of the season, and ended up winning out last game to stay up.
I forgot what happened to my co-ed teams.

The new season has started up, and I'm playing on three teams at the Coverall and four with WRL. A mens team is in the brewery, so to speak, and I'm not sure what's going to happen with that.

Two of the Coverall teams are with Team Gigantic. We had one team play Saturday (twice), and another play Monday. We creamed and then were creamed on Saturday - We played a D side then a B side. I scored a hattrick in the 7-2 win. Apparently, my finishing is better. All three were breakaways thanks to good passing, good footwork, or a combination of the two. I felt somewhat tired in spite of trying to keep my fitness levels up over the break. In the second game, our pulverization was partially due to our fatigue, and partially the fact that they shut our counterattack system down wholly and completely. It doesn't help that we're a one-trick pony kind of team.

Yesterday, we played friendly rivals "Superfriends". We opened the scoring with two goals, but then got smarted pretty well by a 4-goal bounce back before half. No goals were scored in the second half. We played much better at that point. I almost bicycle kicked a ball goalwards, but I had enough time to not do it, because the ref was singling me out pretty well today. I asked him later, and he said it would have been alright to do it, had nobody been near and been kicked in the face. Next time, I suppose.

Tuesday (today..?) I played three games at work, and thus, I'm pretty bagged.Three games, three loses: 7-4 (The Soccer Team), 3-2 (Wannabees), 6-1 (Off in the woods). I scored two, a tap in for the Soccer Team, and a Messi-esque run through literally an entire team, to cap it with a shelved left-footer. It was brilliant, and that's me being modest.

I suppose it's bedtime. And don't worry, more in-depth summaries are coming next post - I had to catch up, first.

Tomorrow, it's tuxedo time.

"You just threw a block of cheese at me"

2009-07-11T16:42:00.003-05:00

Nothing much to mention lately, though I think I'll be playing center-mid for the Hurricanes tomorrow. I'm pretty excited for that. We barely beat a team Tuesday, thanks to a hand ball in their box. They were a good team to beat, because we'll be competing to not get relegated with them. We won 2-1, and I played right back. The man I was supposed to mark scored, but that's because I had began to run at an unmarked guy with the ball in front of our net, near our penalty spot.

I'm completely oblivious as to what happened in the games earlier this week, other than the fact that Team Gigantic lost, I reffed half a game for Fabio (the manager of the Coverall), then lost with the Electric Shoes.

Taking a look at my schedule for the next few weeks, I have HUGE blocks of games. at one point, for about 6 weeks, I play every day except Fridays and Saturdays.

My kicking power has been lacking lately, so I have to get to work. I just hope I don't over-exhaust myself.

You go to Turkey, and you get busy.

2009-07-03T19:24:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure what it was, but I've got some sort of throat infection currently. This is both good and bad, though. Bad because my throat hurts, good because I can still play soccer. I suppose it's an extreme overstatement when I say that it's good, because it's really not - I'm just fortunate to be able to play.

Monday's indoor game was frustrating, yet a good example of why a small team can do well. Unfortunately, my team wasn't the small team (the small team was Sabres, they had no subs whatsoever). In fact, it was quite the opposite. I really cannot play on a line of three people, it's unbelievably hard to get into any sort of groove. We lost in the last minute because of an overcommitment while we were attacking, and while Derek made a good save on the counterattack, we got unlucky with the bounce off the rebound. These are easily the most frustrating kinds of games - those where you can do nothing about what you see.

Last night, I had four games and work. I made it to one and a half of the games and work, unfortunately.

The fortunate thing was that I managed seven goals in those games (Team Gigantic Indoor and Team Gigantic Outdoor). All of them were fairly textbook, especially in the indoor game in which I scored five. I also had a bagful of assists, but it was all a blur. It didn't feel fantastic because of the team we were playing, we managed to rout them 10-2. The outdoor game was 2-0 for us (both goals mine) when I left, and we won it 6-2 (or something to that effect).

In other news, my excellent friends Stephen and Carissa are back from Ontario. In their last few days there, they caught a Forest City London game, and they think I could cut it on a USL team such as FC London. I'm flattered, but I still think that I have a lot of work to do.

I suppose I should get to it.

Aren't there a lot of criytosporidiums in there?

2009-06-29T16:00:00.003-05:00

I have been more busy than I can even remember, lately. Where I last left off, I had a game on the 24th at the Coverall with good old Team Gigantic, then an outdoor game with them the next day. Friday was a game for the Hurricanes, and Sunday involved an outdoor game with Team Gigantic and a practice for the Hurricanes.

I suppose the best way to go over them all would be chronologically, though being brief will be the order of the day - I've two baseball games and an indoor game later.

In the indoor game, We lost 5-2, or something akin to that. I scored one off a nice touch off the boards and a breakaway, but it was nothing special. Passing was good, defending was good, we just didn't have what it took, if I remember correctly.

By the outdoor game, I was well beat from the games earlier in the week. Everybody there had to play a full game with no subs, so that wasn't the most fun. We barely hung on to beat one of my other teams (albeit only in the winter), the Flood Minotaurs, by a score of 3-2. I played terribly because of exhaustion, and the grass being Amazon-height definitely didn't help. Somehow, the bugs were not bad at all though. Go figure. I had an assist for Jay's goal from half.

I finally saw some life from the Hurricanes, too. We beat a team of old Croatians 5-0, while I played right back. I didn't see much action in the first half because of the way they played their forwards out wide, but I made some runs in the second half that were tons of fun to do. I even popped a goal in in the 90th out of boredom. And yes, I know that fullbacks aren't supposed to be in the middle of the other team's six yard box. There was also a bit of a fleeting feeling of fame. I kicked the ball away from guy, out of bounds. Nice and high, and nice and hard. We played in the U of M indoor facility again, and so the ball hit the glass banister that (somewhat) guarded the spectators. Given my luck with these sorts of things there were three young boys standing not a foot away from where my ball had hit, and they all jumped. I said sorry, and they gasped and ohh'd. I'm not going to lie, I felt guilty at first, then just plain old special.

The break on Saturday was a well required one, I was really starting to feel fatigued. Sunday, things picked right up again with an outdoor playoff game for Team Gigantic on a really windy field outside Winnipeg with virtually no tree cover. We got absolutely beaten to a pulp, 6-1. To add insult to injury, at the end of the game, I was settling a ball and one of their team members decided to charge at me. My jaw hurt like hell at the time, but I seem to be fine now.

"I know a guy named Krebdg"

2009-06-24T15:52:00.006-05:00

Both of last night's games have tired me out more than I can recall in recent memory, but normally indoor complexes in summer are pretty hot and muggy.

In my first game back with the Electric Shoes, we had three subs total. In spite of a lack of a formation, we played alright, but generally were unlucky. The pinnacle of our lack of luck came when I lifted the ball over two legs, had my foot stepped on and knee of my other leg kicked, and no foul was called. I also messed up a breakaway by shooting just wide. My passing was plentiful though, perhaps too plentiful. I still need to shoot more. We lost 5-2.

My competitive game was a gong show. I'm not sure why, but I was sat for the first half, then I went in and played striker. Then Right Wing. Then Striker. Then Center Midfielder (this was by my own accord, as nobody else was playing it).

I have no idea what is going on with that team. I know I can be used as a utility man, but I have played every position on the field in three games, aside from left back, left mid, and goalie. The worst part is that nobody is in shape, and no practices are willing to be had. If we go down at the end of the season, we deserve it, unless this ceases to continue.

It felt like, during the game, nobody on my team gave support, aside from certain times. I made a few good passes, but generally the other team was on top of us. We lost 1-0, against an over-35 team. It was obvious that they had played together for a while, but really, the more impressive thing was that they were in much better shape than us.

Five minutes from time, I was fouled just outside the box. I'd have liked to take the free kick, but some guy on my team came up and took it (far too lightly). The goalie was forced into a relatively easy diving save.

I really don't know what to do about these guys, I feel as though we could be a half decent team if we put the hours into it. The individual skill is most likely there, after all.

How is this a fiesta?

2009-06-21T19:30:00.002-05:00

Early in the afternoon today, the St. James Hurricane played our second MSA cup game against a team a division higher than us. We came into the game with a mix of optimism and pessimism. I, personally, was pessimistic after what I had seen a half week earlier.

Due to the usual (again, from what I've seen) lack of defenders, I played stopper for the first half. It was a strange position to get used to, but after a while, I found my footing, and began to block shots, snuff out offenses, and that sort of stuff. While I didn't enjoy the lack of attacking freedom, I felt I played well - their first goal came from an unmarked tap in (see: not my man), three minutes into the game.

The fact that I was in the stopper position meant that this particular team funnelled their attack (usually) into me, but in the second half, things changed. I could swear their coach told them to use more over-the-top balls, because in the first fifteen minutes of the second half, they put two more in on us by using aerial through balls. I subbed out five minutes later in hopes I could get slotted into the midfield, but after a sip of water, a goal was scored against us. Shortly after that, our sweeper went down and I was back in the fold, this time playing sweeper.

Sweeper's a little stranger, but I'd say it's quite a bit easier. After some running around, a midfielder was looking for an "easier" position to play, so I made my way into the midfield. By then, we were down 5-2, and I was given no instruction on which spot to play. I asked around, but came up with "just go over there" from a few different sources.

And so the cup dream is over. This could be a blessing in disguise though, seeing as our league form needs to pick up if we don't want to get relegated.

"Go eat a sandwich"

2009-06-18T14:18:00.005-05:00

One competitive game that I'm back for, and I'm already beaten to a pulp so much to keep me in bed for an extra two hours this morning. Part of the reason for that is how I got 80-85 minutes of playtime when I expected and asked for 45, another part is the two niggling injuries I went in with. Thankfully, my ankle's doing fine.

Take a look at my sock, though.

That lovely stain is thanks to this nice raspberry shown below, which I got from sliding in baseball. And don't ask what the black stuff is, I'm not entirely sure.

The best thing about it was that I was able to actually squeeze blood out of my shin pad after the game.

Otherwise, I took a kick to the calf on a slide tackle that reminded me of my calf contusion two years back. Thankfully, I can walk this time around, and I should be good for Sunday's game.

We played a team of old Polish folks who shirt-tugged like nobody's business, and I played right back before getting subbed out due to the kick to the calf. Our team was doing horrible up until the end of the first half, we had no offensive linking whatsoever, and the closest thing to a goal we got was (albeit pretty close) a disallowed header off a corner for pushing off. The other team simply outclassed and out-conditioned us. The closest thing to an offensive I was able to create for right back was a give and go that ended in me getting fouled, then a nice little roulette move to beat a guy, which also ended in me getting fouled. Our opposition went up two goals before the half.

In the second half, I played on the right side of midfield. From here, it felt like I could control the game much better than I was, but that might've been because my fullback partner was more involved this time around. I worked hard for every ball and had a few good link-ups, but ultimately nothing came of it. Closer to the end of the game, our goalie got injured, and our striker played in goal, so I played up front. Were it not for a few stray passes, I probably could've made some plays, but in that last 15 minutes, the only time I got the ball in their offensive third was a loose one that I chased down then crossed inside for my strike partner. It was about as on-target as you could ask for, but again, nothing was made of it. For the last 5 minutes and 10 minutes of stoppage time, I switched into midfield, but I was really too tired to do much.

We lost 2-0, playing a considerably better second half, against a team that has been together for years.

It was a good taste of all the positions that I could end up playing, though. I think our team could be pretty good if we worked on some of the passing and moving and cut some of the fat, if you know what I mean.

And by that, I mean conditioning.

And cutting players.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a repeat of a Brazil game to watch.

"That was you trying to catch up to girls"

2009-06-17T16:23:00.003-05:00

A month and a half ago, I buggered up my ankle in a pretty nasty event at an Electric Shoes game. In stretching to win a ball that was passed, a girl kicked my leg (accidentally) right as I planted it. I landed on it with all my weight as it was bent sideways, and tore a ligament, or so I believe. Some say it was stupid to not see a doctor, I say "yes, but go to hell".

I'm almost in peak condition again, though there are definitely some things that have changed with my play style, both good and bad, in the few games I've used to get back in shape.

The Bad:

I'm not playing with my head up as much.
I'm not turning as fast.
I feel like showboating more.

The Good:

My dribbling has improved.
I'm holding up the ball better.
I'm playing with a greater sense of craftyness.
I'm not longer afraid to just take it and shoot, in some cases.

And so, I need to work on keeping my head up and my turning. Everything else will come.

I played two games when I really shouldn't have, and I scored a goal in each. Otherwise, I've been keeping up my fitness with dodgeball and softball. Yesterday I started drilling in my yard.

Today's the real test though. I play with the Hurricane, and we have to turn our season around. We've scored two goals in five league games, and allowed nine. They want to play me as striker, and with some of the E-mails from my team's coach, I think they have high hopes for me to put in a few goals. We have progressed in the cup though, with a 3-0 win over another team in our division. I'm not entirely sure how they'd like me to play, the closest thing to a game I've played for them was a scrimmage tryout where I played a playmaker role. I suppose I'll try different things, it really depends on my strike partner too. I just hope the service is there, because I'm confident that even 45 minutes will be enough to throw one into the good old onion bag.

Until then, I'll just pace around my house nervously.

"That is just the ultimate gross"

2009-04-30T01:01:00.005-05:00

Life's surprisingly hectic in spite of the lack of school and full-time work. Really, it almost seemed less busy back then. Though, I suppose I'm getting a lot done now. Today, I had an appointment for an immobilizer for my car fit surprisingly well with a golf game I had planned. Even though I dropped my car off at noon for a four hour job, they said to pick it up at six. That was fine, except for the fact they closed at six. Right.

There are almost too many games that I've postponed "until tomorrow" that I need to touch on, but I'll give a short idea of how it all went.

Last Tuesday, Team Gigantic's so-called feeder team played and lost to some other indoor team. It was frustrating not being able to play the ball off to people who I knew could do what they expect to with it, but that's just the way secondary teams work when there are just too many people to fit on a single roster. We lost this game, and I took it fairly seriously. It was just frustrating, no bouncing ball went our way, runs weren't found, and in particular, I was fouled inside the box by their goalie twice. If I remember correctly, we lost 5-2.

That Saturday, we had a windup, which was spent scrimmaging for two hours, followed by all you can eat pizza. Needless to say, the next day would have been hell had I played a good amount of football.

And as luck would have it, I did. A chilly practice with the Hurricanes (the coach of whom told that he wanted me to stay around), followed by a short practice with Josh made way to the fourth pizza dinner in as many days, then I played with Team Gigantic and the Electric Shoes, back-to-back at the coverall.

One of the obligatory games against the Sabres was on the plate for Team Gigantic, and they played an entire half with 4 outfield and a goalie. We dominated without playing well at all. They got a couple more people in the second half, but we kept banging them in to win 7-3. I scored once (a flukey sidefooted volley) and set up a few golden chances that were not to be.

The Electric Shoes game was a riot, though. By that time, I had played for three hours that day, and two hours the day before, so I was fairly exhausted. They put me on defense yet again, and I came away with a Greg Walker hat trick: A goal, a goalline clearance, and an own goal. Fantastic. I spent the game covering a really strong, fast forward, and I made him fairly useless, which was nice. I made it look pretty good, too, fortunately, because many of the tackles were taken at the last second. I did this three or four times. My goal was a simple yet effective "pass outside the offensive zone so I can hammer it goalwards with one touch" that had a couple people screening the keeper. Otherwise, he was really difficult to get past. My goalline clearance was awesome, but typical. The ball bounced in front of the net when I got caught on a two-on-one, and before a girl could tap it in, I lunged at it and kicked it up and out. Fortunately, it was called a goal kick as opposed to a corner. The own goal is one I'd rather not dwell on, but quite simply, it's on Facebook, and it involves a ball coming off my leg and bouncing into the net.

Yesterday evening, after a game of golf, there was another game which we won 4-2. I set up one with a neat little sombrero flick then cross, then got a goal myself from a free kick when I got fouled just outside the box. The goalie set up a two-man wall, so I just shot it low and to the corner, and it rolled through his hands. I believe that's my first free kick goal, too.

Sunday's the first outdoor game for Team Gigantic, and I have to sort out teams by then. It would also help if certain teammates of mine paid their fees, as well. In addition to other football politics, the manager of the Coverall leagues doesn't want me playing on three of his teams, so I have to axe one, at the very least. I think I have my choice of which to drop (out of both the Team Gigantic teams and Electric Shoes), but I'll have to chat it over with him. I'm leaning towards the B-team for Team Gigantic.

To make it all more confusing, I got this E-mail today from Jahan.

"Hey guys,

How is everyone doing ? The reason I'm sending this is that I need two guys to volunteer to handle the affairs of the Fury.It's a little difficult for me to run both a league and a team for the obvious conflicts that exist, but I still like to keep playing for the team that I've started over 6 years ago under the same name.

The responsibilities include contacting the guys at least 24 hrs. before an scheduled match and reminding every one about it and making sure we have a full team with at least one sub at the game.In return these two guys get to play for free this season,and also a chance to play for the second division Major League team that I'm coaching.

You can divide the responsibility by taking care of half of the guys which is more convenient and means you are bringing out only 6 players to each game.

If any of you guys are up for the task please let me know ASAP,because we have 5 teams and we want to start the season with Fury next week.A couple of friendlies are happening this weekend.Check out the website for the time and addresses."

So that's three division two teams that I could see about getting on, if I go through with this, though I don't imagine getting enough playtime on Jahan's. I'll think it over tomorrow.

And in case you're wondering, I played two rounds of 18 at Blumberg, and I had improved on my previous score by five, with today's game.

"And that's what friends are for."

2009-04-21T01:15:00.007-05:00

Tonight's tryout went well. The new complex at the U of M is incredible, though the turf is a little hard. I walked onto the field unsure of what to do, so I did a small dynamic stretching warm-up then joined a pass circle. It comforted me to know that some of the guys made bad touches during the warm-up, though I had entered feeling confident. I shot a few at the nets and skied a couple, but really, things got better after that. Be warned; beyond this, it's a brag-fest.

We were playing a 10-a-side game on a half field, and for the first time ever, I got the chance to play as an attacking midfielder in a good team. We played a midfield diamond, with 3 defenders and two strikers. There were some weak links, but my team managed to play through and win 1-0.

I had five great chances, the first was a header from a cross that just went wide, the next I tapped just wide of the net after being released, the next I headed a long cross right at the goalie (though it's not like I could've directed it elsewhere), then I missed a curler I sent goalbound with my left foot (incredibly, from 16 yards out, it was a few feet over). My final and best chance came when I went in front of the net and popped in a rebound, though the original shooter was ruled offside. I played very centrally, and rushed back to defend when needed. It seemed like I was in better shape than most others, including the midfielder who played behind me (I was behind him at times when my team defended and ahead of him always on the attack). I noticed that I involved a lot of my team and passed the ball well, and kept excellent control of it. I also disrupted the opposing team's build-up a lot, and filled in for players that were out of position.

Most importantly though, my movement and passing terrorized the defense. I had a couple bad through balls, but after a while, my team started playing a lot of the attack through me. This might be because I was in shape enough to get open, or possibly because I was recognized as a good player to pass to. I always seemed to find a gap to run into, which is part of the greatness of playing centrally behind the strikers.

One problem I did have was with my teammates positioning. After a while it became sloppy, and wingers became strikers and vice-versa. The unfortunate thing from this was that at times we had nobody guarding the side, so I had to slide over and cover. One thing that also could've happened was that because of the pitch's lack of length, strikers moved over and played wider, leaving me in a strange position while attacking.

I recieved a fair amound of compliments afterwards, I had marked my opposite number out of the game for the most part, and was hard to mark myself. I feel that if I did play for this team, I'd be a first-stringer, but there were five people that didn't show up that will still be trying out. One of these people was named "Ali". Now, I'm not positive, but he could be one of my pals from AFC Soccer. If that were the case, he would most likely play the same position that I play, so I'd need to get moved somewhere, most likely winger or striker.

I intend to see what this team can offer me (as far as playtime goes) before I choose this years' MMSL team, with the other possibility being the Aeros.

One thing I find funny is that I would honestly rate myself a league above these guys. If you recall, last year I was basically a reserve player that practiced with a premier-level team, for the first part of the season and the year before that, I missed the cut for a 3rd division team. This team is a second division team that last year went to the finals for promotion into the first division, and I look set to be offered a spot on it.

Funny what a good amount of practice, a lot of games, and whatever else I have can do for you.

At any rate, I need to stop this gasconade and get either some rest or some bookwormin' done. But first... Because I haven't left any of my adored readers* with any truly stimulating visual baubles lately, feast your eyes, if you feel so inclined.

"Darn it!"

* - Pluralization applicable?

"You're going to have to tone it down a little so I don't get complaints about you"

2009-04-20T20:20:00.007-05:00

Yesterday night, I played my first game with Electric Shoes. The team takes a few of the better players from White Eagles and mixes them with a bit of young blood, a bit of old blood, and a bit of feminine blood.

Overall, it looks like a team that shouldn't be in the bottom level of the Coverall's co-ed hierarchy.

But we are.

I was placed on defense in a 2-1-2 formation. Our girls attacked. In spite of "going easy", I played well enough to not allow any goals when I was on, but badly enough to make a few mistakes. I'm not sure if Fabio telling me to tone it down got to me, or if it was just the fatigue, but I let the ball roll under my foot one particularly bad time, and generally eased the pressure on their attacking players more than I should've. We won 4-2.

The fact remains though, that I want more license to attack. I'm positive I looked like a caged animal back in defense, as I ran far forward whenever I had the chance. I'm going to pitch the idea for a 1-1-2-1 formation as we looked pretty solid in the back, hoping that the two girls that would play the attacking mid positions (who were excellent passers) could come back and defend when needed, and otherwise give us width. The reason for the one striker is that we just lacked a bit of an edge, and a strong front man could give that to us.

Tonight I play in my city's new complex over at the university. Should be interesting, as it's a tryout for the Saint James Hurricanes. Unfortunately, I miss a Team Gigantic game for it, but sacrifices must be made, I suppose.

In other news, I'm sick, and exams. Oh, and I missed the first and last playoff game for the Eagles because it was at 11 AM. And I was sick.

Stop rolling your eyes at me like that.

"I was half drunk, half blacked out, half passed out, and they still couldn't make me put shaving cream on my face."

2009-04-16T16:02:00.004-05:00

It has seemed longer than a week since my last post, but it's been a busy last little while regardless.

Perhaps the reason I've been putting it off was because the last game I played, the finals, is one I'd rather forget.

But before that, the Eagles had their last game of the season against the top team. This was the one that I may have mentioned had the (at one point) best player in my province on their team, and boy, he's difficult to mark. He's got quick movement, and a good touch as well. I got beat by him a few times, but I kept up for the most part. The most unfortunate thing was that I'd shut his shooting and running lanes down, and he'd just back up and pass it to a teammate my team left open. We lost that one 4-8.

As far as the finals go, as I mentioned in the last post, we played Academy. The game was fairly end to end, but in the end, we lost 3-1. Our only goal came from Matt, who had the ball deflect off two of their players from a long shot and roll in. The last person the ball hit was actually "Big Old Fuck", if you remember correctly, and he flipped out and was an asshole for the rest of the match. Not that he wasn't before, of course.

Two of their goals were set pieces in which the wall was set up like this:

Except, kick coming now, before the wall is set.

That's not to say we didn't set a wall. We did, except we just didn't cover the open part of the net with either a goalie or more wall.

Then I shot a penalty shot at their goalie from a handball. The funny thing is that I hit three perfect penalty shots in the warm up. I'm over it though, and the team forgave me. I feel considerably better that we ended up losing by two as opposed to one. I suppose I was just tired, as I took a huge run up and just blasted it. In my defense, there's not much else to do in indoor soccer.

Most recently, I've taken up baseball. Now, that game is so relaxing, I have a hard time calling it a sport. Really, you hit things with a bat, chill in the outfield, catch balls, and that's about it. My first practice was yesterday, and I ended up slipping on the part of the field that was still wet - I was soaked. Fortunately for me, I had come prepared with a change of clothing.

Also, it turns out I'm somewhat of a natural. I went to bat a few times, and for a couple of those, I hit deep center field drive, over the outfielder's head.

"It was like the spinorama llama-dama empty-netter"

2009-04-09T13:52:00.008-05:00

After Team Gigantic had booked themselves a place in the semi-finals, we found that we would be playing Sabres, another friendly rival. In the other semi-final were the not-so-friendly rivals Academy, and another old unfriendly rival, FC Inter.

FC Inter came up against us a couple times in our first season, and they beat us thoroughly. At one point, one of their guys decided that getting into a fight with Stephen would be a good idea, but unfortunately it never happened. It did work well for Stephen though, he really got under the guy's skin with some well-placed sarcastic comments and a smile that could make a small child wet himself. Him and I laughed about it afterwards, and still do to this day.

Though it turns out Academy beat them, so it was them and the winner of our game in the playoffs.

If you need an introduction as to what Academy are like, well, to put it shortly, they're a bunch of assholes. Check some of the previous posts tagged "Academy" and you'll find out.

Now, the Sabres game started well for us. Jay and I each put a goal in, mine was a simple rebound-and-volley. By just after half they had tied it up with one particularly terrible goal, where Jay fouled a guy in the corner, and they took it quickly. Shaun managed to somehow save the first in a 2-on-him, but they then equalized off the rebound. My team started to freak out a little because of the lack of control over the decision and the quickly taken free kick. We had people questioning the ref more than concentrating on the game, and fouled more than playing the ball. Admittedly, we were getting a little jumpy, so I sat on the bench and quite literally silently meditated to get all of the other distractions out of the way.

I had not even employed it as a method to improve my game, but the next shift I was on, it seemed to have worked. I pounced on a loose ball by their net, roulette'd it out of the way of the goalie, and then slotted it into an empty net as I heard multiple footsteps approaching behind me. It was a fantastic goal that fired everybody up, and Jay went on to put in one more after that, so we won 4-2. I couldn't really contain myself after the goal, and I did the typical clenched-fists facing-up-but elbows at my side while running and screaming. I think I've found my default celebration (which may have fired my team up more than the goal itself).

It's funny how such a momentum change can occur so quickly though. One moment, we were pissed off and fouling everybody, then after the goal, we calmed down and played a fantastic rest-of-the-game.

My dad, one of our many spectators today, had really enjoyed the game. With him were Josh's parents, who dubbed my goal today's title.

And now our most challenging test this season is about to come, this Saturday. I've got to really step up in this game, as I've been somewhat responsible for the push to playoffs and sparking our momentum in the playoffs. The thing is, I've scored one goal in maybe 6 matches against Academy, and that goal was a gift, however deciding of that game it was. Contrasting that to my recent form in both that league and others, though, I might do well. I have 6 goals in as many games for Team Gigantic, and I can't remember the last game that was not an AFC Soccer game that I haven't scored in.

We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.

"Ohh, thank you, patient young man."

2009-04-08T16:22:00.001-05:00

I'm a few days overdue, but my most recent playoff game deserves a separate post than this, so I'll go over my last few games.

First off, Jahan called me at 9 Saturday morning to alert me of a game in a couple hours. I woke up at noon, so I missed it. They lost against the top team in the semis anyways.

A few nights before, Team Gigantic played friendly rivals Superfriends in a quarter final match. I'd have expected it to be a low-scoring, tough match, but I was wrong. Team Gigantic changed our strategy for this one, we decided to man-mark the central (and usually most dangerous) player on their team. It worked fantastically, we tired their most dangerous player out, frustrated him, and ended up winning emphatically (7-2). I scored the first by pouncing on a loose ball and then slotting it into the bottom corner. Then 6 other guys on our team scored as well, which is odd. Usually, Jay and I score the majority of our goals (over half when put together in regular season).

On Sunday, Fury played their playoff game as well. I thought it'd have been an easy win, but I was wrong. I scored once in an 8-4 loss. My goal was a simple little rebound-and-shoot. Another highlight was that I definitely didn't feel so lost this time around, I robbed a couple guys and really put some pressure on their defense. I suppose our weakness was that all of the part-timers that played with us decided to all come out, and nobody really knew how to play with everybody. It didn't help that their team had a good goalie.

I haven't realized until recently how important knowing your teammates is. I think this is the key to success that Team Gigantic usually experiences in the playoffs, as we usually start the season slow, then end with some Cinderella-esque playoff run. The core of our team usually doesn't change, but newcomers do eventually work into the (lack of) system that we use by then.

Or maybe we're just lucky.

While we're on the topic of cohesiveness, I'm off to a White Eagles game, with whom even the best cohesion could not save us. This game should be interesting, as I'm going to (try) mark one of the former best attacking players in Winnipeg, currently with 40 goals in 15 games in our league. Why on earth is one of the best player playing recreation mens? I don't know. Maybe it's because his brother is playing. At any rate, his name is Dalibor Planicac, and I believe he used to play for Lucania. he's seemed out of shape lately, but we'll just have to see.

Who knows, maybe I'm pick up something from him.

"Stop being stupid, I will shit... Hit... Shit you!"

2009-03-31T02:29:00.005-05:00

I refrained from making a post immediately after the game because of my mood. I was glad, but more or less in a state of disbelief.

Tonight was the quarter-finals for AFC Soccer. I went to the game, fully expecting to be benched for the majority of it. I wasn't. Our goalkeeper did not come, and Jahan wanted me to fill in. I'm not fantastic, but I can deal with corners well, and I'm not afraid to get hurt.

Jahan gives me the goalkeeper gloves, which were, and I wish I could make this up, a child's size right-handed "Hot Paw" glove and another right handed wool-lined canvas mitten. I declined use of them, opting for the good old spit-and-hands method instead.

We looked to be running away with it, in the first 20 minutes, leading 7-2. By half, they pulled a couple back on us. 7-4. No biggie, I thought, and the guys tried to raise my confidence at half.

After half, I had lost my concentration. I let a few muffins in, and they were back in it. That is when hell didn't quite break loose, but I certainly saw what it could be like.

One of our players (our top scorer) refused to leave the field. Jahan eventually grew frustrated, and pulled one of our own players "until he got off". At this point, we were up by just one. Jahan let somebody back on after about a minute, and then got on the field himself, yelling at the ref to take our renegade player out. He complied, and the other team complained.

Complaining's a bit of an understatement. The clock had to be stopped for about five minutes, while the other team yelled at the ref about not carding Jahan. I leaned against the post, trying to regain some of my confidence that had been lost when I heard "their goalie is their weak point! Shoot a lot!" from the opponent's bench a few minutes earlier.

We resumed play, and I went to punch a long ball that was put up for a shorter player in front of me. Turns out punching is not allowed in this league. What? I assumed the ref felt bad for me, as it wasn't a penalty shot, but rather a free kick just outside the box. They missed, after yelling at the ref some more. I think, that during one of the two kerfuffles, the ref was shoved by the other team, and then he began to take control of the game.

By this time, it was too little too late, and everybody had settled down for the last five minutes. A yellow was given for a high kick on our side, but we managed to shut them down long enough to hold out for the win.

I came home and watched Mantracker, because that was all I could do. My brain was just mashed to hell by the stress it had been under, and I'm still a little shaken, four hours afterwards. I probably would've shit my shorts had it gone into penalties.

It sounds a bit dramatic, but would you want to disappoint guys who pray before the game?

Tomorrow things are a little easier, aside from that essay I haven't started, due in six hours.

"Hey Ali, how many scores did you miss, a thousand?"

2009-03-30T16:11:00.001-05:00

By Saturday night, I was crawling around the floor, speaking things that didn't make much sense, and in a general state of delirium. The crawling was based on the physical fatigue, while everything else was mental fatigue. I had played three games that day.

Normally, when I've played three games, it doesn't really get to me. I've done it a few times before.

But the arrangement and circumstance was the deadly aspect of it all. I went to bed the previous night at 4, woke up at 9 to drive my parents to the airport, and then had a game at noon with AFC Soccer.

Jahan pulled me aside and told me that I had raised my game once more, and I in fact did. I made few errors, created a few plays, and could've easily had a couple goals. The only error that comes to mind was failing to chest-and-then-volley a pass that would've created a 1-on-1 with the goalie, and there was really no excuse. Perhaps on a day with some more sleep, I'd have been able to hit it.

Aside from that, I had a lot of dangerous runs, a few dangerous and smart passes, and a couple where I almost could've scored if another player on my team decided to pass as opposed to beat the goalie in some manner. I am not complaining though, as we won 10-5.

After that game, I went home and relaxed. I had a White Eagles game at five.

At the game, I played defense. As an indication of how tight the footballing community is around here, the referee that took care of my noon match was also due to ref this match. Even stranger, though, is that the Eagles called up a couple players that one of the guys worked with, and it was a couple of old pals from Euro FC. For anybody not in the know, Euro FC was a team of Portuguese guys that won only one game, had terrible attendance, and was my team two summers ago. We practiced three times, and the great majority of them tired after three minutes of playing. They lacked speed and defensive abilities, but were somewhat decent in taking on men. Perhaps this sticks out in my mind because they did not pass, just tried to beat everybody.

Playing defense for the White Eagles is usually quite occupying, but tonight was an exception. We were playing a team that originally had no substitutes, so it game me license to move forward a little and provide a target that actually moved. More than once I had to pass it back to my own goalie because not a single striker on our team moved, and they had a man on right behind them.

I made one normally-suicidal attacking run forward, and managed to pass most everybody on both teams. I gave the ball to one of my Portuguese pals, and continued sprinting. He gave me a surprisingly excellently weighted ball to chase down, and I latched onto it with a touch or two. By this time, the opposition's goalie and a defender closed in on me, and the defender pushed me over. During the push, I was able to chip the bouncing ball over the oncoming goalie's head, and I was over by a foot. The ball bounced back, and by this time, I was on the ground. There was no whistle, so a rebelious part of me told me to play on. While on the ground. Which is normally illegal. Now, just try to imagine...

This, mixed with...

Wait, what?

Well, very basically, the ball bounced off the panel above the crossbar back to me while my back was on the ground. It took a bounce, and the oaf that bowled me over tried to clear it. He didn't. I bicycle kicked it while on the ground, and somehow scored. The other team complained, and I thought it wouldn't have counted either, but apparently it didn't count as a slide nor a high kick. I'll have to ask some officials at my next few games. It was easily one of my greatest goals to date. I'll have to make a list of them some day.

I've been working on a few other skills to suplement being lucky while on the field. One of them, the Trivela, is surprisingly handy given its asthetic value.

Sure, I can't hit it like that...

I took about a 50 yard free kick using this, and managed to pick out a head on the far post. Pretty good considering I didn't have much room to manuever. I put a ton of spin on it, too. I imagine this becoming a great tool for me.

Other than my personal performance, the Eagles game was routine, aside from the fact that we won 4-2. Most of our players played terribly, leaving HUGE gaps in the defense and not moving on offense. At half time, two of our players got in a fight because one wanted to switch sides as striker, and the other just told him to man up and put up with his defender, who roughed him up.

At least we got that elusive second win.

I grabbed some food after that game, then headed to the Coverall to play with Team Gigantic. We had a game against one of our friendly rivals and league leaders, Sabres. Strangely enough, they are only rivals because of Derek, who declared them so after he realized Greg on the other team and I were old pals on our high school soccer team. They creamed us the first half, 7-2. I was not into it due to fatigue, and the entire team played badly. In the second half, either they took the foot off the gas, we stepped up, or both of the aforementioned things happened, because we ended up losing the half 1-0. I personally played better at that point, as that was when runner's high seemed to kick in. I was able to beat people with ease, and have many shots, though few were on target. I also went a little crazy and laid down underneath the bench, which was a bad idea, but I wanted rest. All in all, we lost 8-2, but I did as good as I could, having very little sleep and enough rest time between games to make me feel like I was not tired.

It hit me later, at Jay's house, after we watched the taped version of last year's championship final, and after Matt and I decided to play some strange combination of pool and snooker with our hands, trying to bend the pool balls. Matt and I did this for about an hour.

I got home at four, let my dog out, then passed out. Big game tonight, though. AFC Soccer plays in the quarter finals of the championship at Skylight. I'm trying hard not to get nervous about it, but it's tough. Ahh well, at least it'll take my mind off that essay due tomorrow.

A Cantona-sized kick

2009-03-25T14:56:00.012-05:00

It was as eventful as it gets yesterday, as far as soccer goes. I secured a couple tryouts for second division teams, then played three games while at Winnipeg Rec League, one of which was the championship match for winter indoor.

The two teams I'm trying out with are St. James Hurricane and Southport Aeros. I'm with the Arrows through a couple of players on the Ducharmes, and I got the Hurricanes tryout through I guy I was just chatting about with soccer. I can only pick one of those teams, and I'll have to weigh out the pros and cons to each. Right now, this is what I see:

The Hurricanes "need" midfielders. This means I could be playing one of my better positions, with more play time. Their requirement for midfielders tell me they could have had an exodus of sorts, which is generally bad. Also, I have heard that they may be a team new to the division. This either means relegation or promotion, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but in most cases is.

The Arrows seems to be a good team, and I know Ben and Jordan, who play with me on the Ducharmes. They're pretty good players. Their lack of need for players means I may not get in a good position (in spite of my constant yammering about how I can play every position, some are definitely easier than others for me), and regardless, there probably won't be as much play time. The biggest drawback, though, is that I'd be playing out of town. Two hours from my house, to be close to exact. Practices will be hard to get to on time, if at all, and half of the games would also be there. This also leads to one of the team's problems, which is that "there just isn't enough commitment to take it to the next level".

What a conundrum.

In the first game, I was playing defense as a guest player for a team called "Renaldo". I played pretty well and had some good clearances, but it was apparent that I hadn't played with them before. I aggravated my knee injury too by clearing a ball strangely, but I'm fine in general. I've been using it as an opportunity to practice with my left leg. We lost that game 4-1.

Then came the championship game. We were playing a team that is known for having decent players and a huge mean streak, and today was no exception. We put in two early on them, but they had equalized by the end of the half with two goals that were complete flukes, one was a shot that got stomached in, the other took an incredibly weird bounce off the boards and set a lucky player up for a tap in.

We pulled ahead in the second half thanks to a couple great breakaway goals, but all in all, it was not terribly exciting. I played terribly, possibly due to fatigue, and I remember somebody on the opposing team told their own players to watch out for my "cheap tricks". I pulled out the seal dribble and showed them what was up, and we ended up winning the match and championship by a score of 4-2. I should have just booted the guy who called my tricks cheap anyway.

I'd like to know what went through everybody's mind at the moment this was taken.

After the win, I couldn't have cared less as to what happened in the next game, which was for third place, with the Yellow Dogs. We lost, and I again played badly, possibly due to fatigue. We lost that game 3-1.

Three games in a day is tough.

"Move over, I need to snuggle up" ... "Oh god, he actually did it"

2009-03-24T15:22:00.003-05:00

I realize that the updates are getting later and later, but it would seem that things are getting busier and busier.

Thursday I played with AFC Soccer, against one of the division's top teams. We had two subs and a terrible goalie who withdrew three fourths of the way into the game. We were losing by 5 or so when I went in net, and I actually made a few really good stops. Of course, I let some in, too.

Last Saturday was privy to another couple games, the first with Fury, and the second with Team Gigantic. Fury won 7-1, Team Gigantic lost 2-1. I scored the only goal for Team Gigantic, it was terrible. I rebounded my own shots until the third, where I just managed to squeeze it between the goalie's legs. Unfortunately, my goal got credited to Jay, so now he's two ahead of me in the standings.

At the Fury game, Jahan discovered my problem; ball control. He diagnosed me at half time, and then told me to run back and forth with the ball. I was clumsy at best. Time to find some ball control and dribbling drills. I imagine this will help my game a lot. I imagine it as the missing link in my game, as it should help my first touch, and my ability to beat people.

I went to the physio yesterday to check out that problem with my knee. Turns out I sprained my ligament between my fibula and something else. I just have to tape it up and I'm good to go. Actual rehabilitation on that starts next week, and after that, I'm getting her to take a look at my right ankle.

"Crouchy, when I look at you, everything tells me that you should be rubbish at football, and yet you're brilliant."

2009-03-18T00:16:00.007-05:00

There were two playoff games for my Winnipeg Rec League teams tonight, The Ducharmes and the Yellow Dogs. They were both placed in the top bracket of four teams, so the same result in each game would have made each team play each other for the third time this season.

In the first game, The Ducharmes played the top seed, Red Bull. We went down 3-0, but I had pulled one back by halftime. I had intercepted a pass with a quick turn hitting the ball with the inside of my left foot, then behind me (which was the direction of their net) with my right. I turned in the process. This got one mark off me, but another came in from the left. I roulette'd him as well, in order to get around him. This put me at a tight angle with a defender on either side of me, but slightly behind. I used my arms to get some space, then fired a low shot into the inside side netting. A fantastic solo effort, it was. There would be no way to find anything like it on youtube, so I won't even try.

After a half-time resurrgency, my team pulled three goals back, and won the game.

The Yellow Dogs came into the gym with two men, and a boatload of ladies, so I sensed it would be a long game. I was not far off, sitting off maybe three minutes, and playing goalie for 5. In the first half, we had gone down a couple, but I showed signs of life with another fantastic goal that looked something like the next two goals mixed together, taking elements of Gus Poyet's actual strike and Rooney's placement in the net. The ball was bouncing towards their net, so I ran, got under it, and unleashed a fierce volley that almost sent the world in retrograde motion. I'm normally not one to brag, but man, did I ever hit that thing.

Wayne Rooney's goal.

Gus Poyet's goal.

One of the fellows on my team had a couple long spells out, and we began to slip. We eventually went down boatloads, because we were committing too much up front and not enough players were getting back, myself included. Things looked bleak, and they were. There was no chance we could win or tie it up, as they were up 13-2 (or so I thought). Somehow, my team showed signs of life, and we managed to score a handful of goals, two of them mine, in five minutes, making the score 13-7. I chipped one in when the goalie was on the ground flapping at it (my first chip goal, too, I enjoyed it), and then passed one into a corner thanks to a great pass to me in a 2-on-1.

Turns out I had thought correctly, and we ended up losing 13-7.

Though it was a great night, I ended up playing a lot, scoring a few fantastic goals, and doing a few tricks, some of which I didn't even think about.

In accordance to yesterday's post, I wonder, what should I try? Thinking more, or thinking less and just having automated responses? I'll have to try some things out, but I think thinking is a bad idea when trying to beat an opponent that is waiting for you. One that isn't though, is another question.

Also, have a gander at this, a fantastic summary of and solutions to the England national team's problems.

"I have one and a half cocks, when I start beating guys up you take five seconds. "

2009-03-17T01:34:00.007-05:00

At half time on Sunday evening, Jahan had told me that I had raised my game a level for the last AFC Soccer game, but that I just wasn't performing with Fury that night.

I've found that I do have off nights, like anybody else, but lately, I seem to either be lacking form, or possibly just being too hard on myself. The strange thing, is that even if I am lacking form, I am scoring goals. I seem to be putting one in every other game nowadays, in spite of bad play.

It could also be that mentally I have reached a new level of play. This seems to be another likely case, as I seem to be thinking more on the field. This is both a good and bad thing, and I'll start by going over my previous approach to soccer.

There was a time where I would remember very little of the games due to sheer lack of cognitive thought I was giving it all. People would say things like "Do you remember that one foul you took? You hit the ground hard", but I would have forgetten it (at times making writing for this blog quite difficult). Even goals were sometimes hard to recall. As a continuous game, especially, there would be very little memory of possession or tactics in any sense. When I got the ball, I would not be thinking of how I would set something up, but it was rather a test of my ability to see things on the fly, and act accordingly.

With what seemed to be a program set in my head for all of this, I was able to play well in the co-ed leagues and low-level outdoor leagues, using my normally dominant speed.

But now I seem to be caught up somewhere. I think it's trying to incorporating moves into my game, which is an important part on any of Jahan's teams. Beating your covering man is paramount. I am thinking, now, and that it is slowing me down in getting past people. It happened twice tonight, where I just ran into two people, while my brain debating thinking about a move, or just peeling past them, though it did not help that I was tired, or that we were down so much that it didn't matter what I did. Before you guess, the White Eagles lost tonight, 2-9. More on that subject later.

There are a few possible reasons of why I can't just beat my man. Listed below is what I think about it all.

I'm too accustomed to using my speed.
I panic in front of defenders at times.
I have little time for a touch in Jahan's teams, plus defenders are better.
I lack the focus or concentration.

I'll have to find a way to remedy that.

In that Fury game, I had managed an assist by placing a through ball brilliantly with my left foot from about twenty yards away. This has been my best left-footed kick to date, and even the guy on the receiving end of the ball didn't know it was going to him (he had shrugged his shoulders at me when I had kicked it, then ran onto it). We ended up losing 4-1.

The White Eagles game was a mess though, as I mentioned earlier (A 9-2 loss). I scored our first of two goals while waiting for support, I eventually took advantage of a defensive error and ran right up the centre to score. I hadn't even kicked it properly, but it still managed to find the opposite corner of the net that I had originally planned to shoot at.

The funniest part of the game was when some guy nutmeg'd me, then I blocked him off from the ball. He yelled something that sounded like a ninja getting kicked in the stomach, ran into my back, and dove to the ground. Earlier, he had also elbowed me in the nose. I find it hard to believe that he didn't intend to, seeing as he's 6 inches shorter than I am. Asshole. My nose still hurts to the touch.

If that's how you want to look at it then sure. It'll be a "nice juicy little secret-revealing."

2009-03-14T03:03:00.005-05:00

I dislike six o'clock games.

There are some good aspects about them, such as the fact that you have the rest of the night ahead of you, but for the most part, they give you little time to relax at the beginning of your weekend. As well, it doesn't help that the young squad of Team Gigantic is more accustomed to later games (me being part of those, though it could be a generalization).

Judging by my ranting, you probably could've guessed that we lost the game; we played abysmally. I don't think one member of our team had a good game by their own standards, including myself. We scored first (though I will admit, I was late; another reason to dislike a game at that hour), but then Academy (our rivals) had bagged four unanswered goals. I picked up a consolation goal in the last 2 seconds or so, and it was as strange as they get.

Jay had the ball, and decided to put a long ball in the corner for me. They goalie came out to claim it as it had bounced diagonally back into the field of play; it had hit the top of the corner wall section. The ball took a bounce on the ground, and hit it with enough force to place it inches over the goalie and his outstretched hands as he leapt to grab it.

The ball fell near where I was standing, so I took a few steps (I had been relatively stationary until this time) and lowered my head into it. It still had enough mustard to bounce off my head and into the goal relatively quickly, and as Derek said afterwards, "I saw the goal, and I looked at the clock. My head hadn't even turned fully and the buzzer went".

I came close to assisting another, as well. I had placed a perfect cross in, but a teammate did not flick their leg at it while they were in stride. They were about as easy as they come, and it was what I call an "idiot ball".

Yes, I realize that this is slightly demeaning (sorry, Derek), and that it does require a name change. Here's a picture that might make you happy. It was the first thing to come up on a google images search of "idiot balls".

The first thing to come up on a google image search of idiot balls.

Oddly, Academy was relatively friendly today. I got apologized to a couple times, helped up a couple times, and generally play was tame. As friendly as they were, the fact that they were playing the most terrible anti-football I've ever seen was not a nice thing for them to do to us (and me in particular, who ran between two defenders playing keep away for at least 7 or 8 passes). I can't really criticize though, because this is how I want the Eagles to play.

In spite of all this ire, I'm going to opt for some shut-eye, as I need to wake up in three hours for a snowboarding trip.

"How many coca-colas guys?" "It's COKES"

2009-03-12T02:07:00.010-05:00

As usual, Tuesday was a busy soccer day. I played 3 games, tying only one of them, losing the others with a team I guested for and the Soccer Team, who played the Wannabees again. As luck would have it, the tie was between two of my actual teams.

I'm always given a rough time by the team I guested for, they say I always play against them. While there is truth to that, it is a gross exaggeration. We lost in the second half by a couple late goals (3-1), but kept the game tied for the majority of it.

The great thing about the Winnipeg Rec League is that I've been built up as a player to fear in that league, and that alone improves my game by mentally effecting the opposition before we even start the match. I play much better in that league than others, because people give me space to dribble; they fear closing me down to get burned (which is the opposite of what they should do). It also helps that my frantic style of play allows me to freely roam the small court, the distance of which is easily covered in a few short seconds. Those who've seen me play midfield in indoor will note that I don't often assign myself a role or position, but rather pick up various bits of slack around the field.

It helps in another way too, in that people pay particular attention to me in that league. This is how I helped get my team's goal. I made a diagonal run, and two people followed me, and everybody else glanced over in my direction. The run itself was not entirely productive, but it allowed my teammate to shoot and score between their goalie's legs from about 6 meters out; which is quite a distance with a size-5 ball and hockey nets as goals.

In the second game of the night, I played with my easily one of my favorite teams, "The Soccer Team". The Soccer Team is by no means a juggernaut, but rather a team of people (including a teacher from my old high school) who have rarely touched a soccer ball, but are in it for the fun. In all honesty, they are the least skillful team I have ever seen; however, they have copious amounts of fun all of which is incredibly infectious. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I've heard oohs and ahhs from the bench after I pull something out of the style basket. This endears me greatly to them. When playing with them, I try to set up what usually ends up being a missed shot; I would love to see them grab a few goals for themselves, however. We lost 6-1 to the Wannabees (a former pseudo-team of ~~mine~~misfits), but I did manage to set up the team's first goal not scored by myself. I ought to take less credit though, as I just rolled the ball to my former teacher for the toe-punt from Valhalla that practically ended the universe as we know it. I hope he mentioned it (and me) in the staff room.

If there's one thing I miss from youth football, it's the extremely powerful toe-punts that take the keeper five minutes to go find in the brush behind the field.

In the final game of that night, the Yellow Dogs and Ducharmes faced off. I played (once again) for the Yellow Dogs, due to a lack of male attendance. By this time I was pretty exhausted, and the LCL injury I sustained a few days ago began to act up. My lazyness showed from the first minute, when one of the Ducharmes, Jordan, went ahead and scored on us. They went up by two, but then a teammate pulled one back. Close to the end of the game, I got an indirect free kick in the attacking zone, so I just kicked it at the net, not having any options. It took a deflection and found the back of the net, tying it up 2-2. I felt a cocktail of guilt, elation, and empowerment. I didn't celebrate, though I'm not sure if that was out of grief or enervation.

Tonight, I answered the call of duty. Jahan called me at eight in the evening, asking me to come to the AFC Soccer game. I asked about how he got the team reinstated (remember that he had told me he had canceled it days earlier), and he fed me some incoherency. I had a choice to make: A White Eagles game, or the AFC Soccer game. I dangled the carrot in front of his face with this while weighing out my options*, but eventually told him I'd be there. It was unfortunate to be missing an Eagles game, especially considering that the game was against our rivals (who are based solely on both teams stewing at the bottom-of-the-divisional-system-barrel). They lost that game 5-4 after blowing multiple leads, it would seem from the online scoresheet.

I played the entire game on defense for AFC soccer due to a lack of substitutes, and I may have found my place in that team. I blocked many a shot, at one point blocking such a hard shot that I aggravated an ancient injury of mine, shown below. Question: What do you think it is? The answer at the end of this blog post.

Note: That is my shin bone, which normally should be relatively straight.

With that, I got to go in net for 5 minutes as a break. I let one in, but it didn't matter; we won 8-5 against a team twice our size. I got back out and started blocking more shots, slightly aggravating it again. I had a couple nice long passes as well, one resulting in a goal, the other was a perfectly weighted, lobbed through-ball from about 40 metres away. It unfortunately resulted in nothing, other than looking awesome. When I kicked it, I thought of David Beckham's new position/nickname with AC Milan, which is "Goldenballs". I chuckled.

And so after the game, the group of us went for a round of "coca colas" courtesy Jahan. We aggravated the server of our coca colas by calling them that. Many other odd things were said, including the establishment of the word "scores" meaning (and being used in the same context as) chances.

When I got home, I found my right leg has taken quite a beating, between the LCL, shin, and various ankle injuries I'm carrying. It reminded me of a favorite childhood game, Mechwarrior.

Anybody else experiencing extreme nostalgia? Note how intense the game must be, seeing as the background of the box is fire. Also, 31st century combat? Whoa, hold the phone, that is my kind of game.

In particular, whenever your "mech" would get damage, a robotic, feminine voice would alert you of the damage by mentioning that the particular part took a "critical hit". Since the injury, this voice has been reminding me of the "Critical hit; Leg" that I had sustained. This is a good indication that I am a loser, but in addition to that, this may my mind's outlandish way of alerting me that I need to settle down.

At any rate, this can't happen before Friday, Team Gigantic has a season-defining game against our most serious of rivals, Tony's Academy Autobody.

Answer: It is a break on the inside, or cortex of my bone. I am extremely thankful for the effects of calcium, and their salvation of the exterior part of my bone. This injury first began when I ran into a bench at full throttle while playing Basketball in grade 9 gym class. I sat out ten minutes, then began playing again. When I had heard that I almost broke a leg in quite a gruesome way, it began a streak of ego-inflation in thinking that I was made of adamantium or some other cool space-borne mineral.

"I guess I just have to marry you so I can be daughter-in-law. There's no other way."

2009-03-09T15:07:00.000-05:00

I thought, the second I went down, that I was done. I took the Team Gigantic practice a little seriously, and ran hard for a ball that our goalie also ran hard for. We collided, and I heard a pop and felt quite a bit of pain in my knee.

Thankfully, I was able to continue playing 10 minutes later (and I scored a header goal). The next day, though, proved to be quite a labor, between stairs and general locomotion. My team also ended up beating the crap out of me. Literally too, in some cases (Thanks, Jay).

Before the practice I have a game with Fury. I made an assist and we tied the game 6-6. I played horribly.

Yesterday, when I spoke with Jahan, he spoke to me of canceling the AFC Soccer team mid-season because of commitment issues. I'm skeptical about the truth behind this, but he is known for being somewhat strange when it comes to these things.

It's that combination of stupidity and arrogance...

2009-03-03T00:46:00.006-06:00

The Eagles had a game Monday, and it was about as frustrating as it gets.

We lost 5-2, but I did end up assisting one of the goals. Oh yeah, and I got fouled a lot too. Many of them in great spots for free kicks, but I was always told to "Get in there". Too many times all my hard work dribbling resulted a rough foul and the free kick going out of bounds right off the kick. I got to take none of the kicks, too. There were too many times I was open on those set pieces, but the kicker vouched to shoot. Christ, I am getting sick of all that. And then, to top it all off, the team tried to convince me to run the outdoor contingent in the locker room. I declined, in spite of many convincing arguments, such as "come on" and "you can do whatever you want with the team". The later is a lie, as well, because nobody bloody well listens to anybody as it is.

The Team Gigantic game the next night was the complete polar opposite of the Eagles game. We were playing Superfriends, a team that normally threatens our win record. It was a tight game, but I had a beautiful first half brace that gave us the 2-1 win. The first goal was a one-timer from an awkward angle, and the second was a chested down throw from Shaun that I took through three people them put in the top right section of the net. I also ended up megging pretty well, he looked kinda stupid after it.

We did well, and even Keeley and Alaina came out to play. They've never played soccer before, but they did great, especially compared to my expectations for them.

Apparently, in a Ducharmes game that I omitted to go to in favour of the Team Gigantic game, the other ref and his team were being idiots. So now I have to do something about that... Christ. Never a dull moment.

After the Team Gigantic game, I went to ref. The Yellow Dogs played at nine, and they stuck me in goal for the first half.

In spite of my self-sacrificing drive to prevent balls from entering the net, I'm still not the greatest goalie, and I let in three. I did make a really good save where I palmed the ball into the crossbar, though. When I got out of net, I scored two - both sloppy one timers. We lost 6-5, and one of my teammates kept complaining about "having no firepower up front" after one of the other guys went in net. This is weird, the half I was on we scored 4 as opposed to the previous 1. I almost finished a Messi-esque run through four people, but unfortunately couldn't get past the goal keeper.

Be sure to turn on High Quality.

"Orphans fit well into suitcases."

2009-03-02T01:10:00.004-06:00

I had a much-needed rest these last few days, but after sliping down Keeley and Alaina's stairs, I sprained my ankle. I managed to shrug it off before the game with Fury. We ended up playing the top ranked team, and lost narrowly, 5-3. By halftime, the game was 2-3, and then I scored shortly after off a rebound. The other team retaliated, and I had the opportunity to even it up with another rebound shot, but didn't kick the ball, as another team mate behind me tried to kick it as well.

Jahan spoke of chess and horseracing afterwards, none of it making too much sense, but the points were taken: Focus on my confidence and dribbling.

In practice, my dribbling's not half bad, so I really just think it's my confidence that is lacking.

At any rate, I have to go to school at 8:30 tomorrow, so sleep is of the utmost importance. Stay tuned for games every night until Wednesday.

Looks like it's arm wrestling night

2009-02-25T18:12:00.006-06:00

After playing a couple games in a couple days, I was pretty exhausted, but wound up playing with the Eagles on Monday. Usually these are the worst games for me to play, because I end up doing the most running during them. I ended up playing at least 45 minutes of the 50 minute game against the top team. We didn't score any, though I came close a couple times, once from a free kick, a couple times from carrying it through a couple people, and once more from a very close long one-timer. We lost 5-0.

After the game, we got together and discussed strategy, and decided we'd play anti-football next time around. We will play defensively, then just pass back constantly on offense and spread ourselves out until the midfielder (me) can get a good opportunity to get around somebody. Once we get a goal, we go back to frustrating the other team. At the very least, we will end up lowering the amount of goals against us.

Tuesday night I had the option of going to a Team Gigantic game or staying at work and playing with a couple other teams. Due to the blizzard, I ended up staying at work. This was fortunate because my legs were dead. I was terrible, but I used my lack of speed to try a bunch of tricks. This was a nice experience, as I found that it's not so hard to do. We won the first game 4-3 (with the Ducharmes), but tied 2-2 the next game.

The next game was essentially battle of "the people who destroyed every chance they got" vs. "the people who destroyed me every chance they got". My team, in spite of having easily over 30 shots, could not help be shoot the vast majority of them over the net. The other team laid the lickens on me, one trip in particular made me hit the ground remarkably hard. I played in net for the first half of that game because I was tired, and I let nothing in. Call it half a clean sheet. A couple of the other team's degenerates tried to kill me when I was distributing the ball, but other than that, it was fairly routine. The strangest part was when one guy did a tuck jump right in front of me, out of what I would assume was anger for him not knowing the out of bounds areas.

I haven't been to school yet this week, because I'm lazy. I've also been staying at my surrogate family's house this past little while, and I've been sleeping until three daily. Partly, this is because I saw the movie Quarantine last weekend.

In other news, my friend Rob wants to me to write a Uniter (my University's newspaper) column. I'm not sure what it'd be about, but I would enjoy doing it. Of course, I had him make a facebook group with targets determining how often I would write.

"I'd have felt bad had it kept you awake"

2009-02-23T02:33:00.003-06:00

Saturday and Sunday consisted of the kinds of games that really work you, one per day.

Saturday it was with Fury, I played defense and discovered that my ball control is not what it should be. My first touch is fine, but I just can not plan ahead when I touch the ball. Part of it, I think, is panic from just being pitted against somebody else. Another part could be the fact that whenever I try to put the moves on somebody in co-ed and other teams, I just sprint by with the ball, or have enough time to do something, whether it be a step over or roll with bottom of my foot. After I do a move, I usually end up sprinting by anyways.

Anyway, we won that game 7-3, with very few talking points to speak of.

If there were something to fault AFC Soccer on, it'd be the chronically late players. We frequently start games late because we do not have the proper amount of players, and tonight was no exception. We had 3 and a goalie, and had two scored on us before we were able to fill the field. We then tore through the opposition like a TV dinner, to the tune of 14-5. I played defense and scored once, off a rebound that I had enough time to blast it in off the keeper. I came close a few other times, kicking a squared pass a foot above the top right corner, and then having another attempt thwarted at goal line while I was on the ground. Another team mate popped in and finished it though, so I suppose I can call it an assist.

The leg injury on the back of my knee is still preventing a full range of movement, but only bothers me when walking, and not while playing. I feel the issue will resolve itself in a couple days.

For news of the more personal flavor, I ended an un-planned stay at my surrogate family's house for a week. It's nice to be back in my own room, but it was strange; I came into my house and was welcomed by a batch of freshly made cookies. And boy, were they good.

"Patience, patience... I want to look at my heart now"

2009-02-18T18:34:00.006-06:00

Three games last night. Three. In a row. While injured. My post-game wind down consisted of stretching, drinking, eating chocolate chips, and sitting in a hot tub for an hour. It was lovely.

In the first game, the Duchearmes took on the top-ranked team in Winnipeg Rec League, and only lost 2-1, to an absolutely TERRIBLE goal. I mean, I've never seen or heard of anything like it. The ball trickled in from behind the net using it's own spin. Ridiculous.

The second game I played with The Soccer Team. If you'd remember, this was the team that really had nobody who has played soccer before. We lost 13-0, so I pulled out the tricks. I ripped apart pretty much anybody I went against, but a combination of passing near their net and a lucky goalkeeper kept my team shut out. I did, however, successfully preform the seal dribble for a few (4) bounces. Between their players, too.

The lovely seal dribble. Please excuse the song.

In the last game, the Yellow dogs were playing last year's champions and a team I was lined up to play for; Balls in the Ayer. It was an intense game, and there were times when I had to quieten everybody down. After coming back from two goals down to lead 3-2 at half, they complained about the amount of time I had allocated for the game (the first half ran late, so I shortened the second). I allowed the game to go 5 minutes longer than usual, and my team managed to win 4-3. I scored two goals in the process, the first was a sloppy tap-in, the second was a self-created breakaway with a bottom corner picked out.

Good old Winnipeg Rec League. I quite enjoy getting paid to play.

Very funny guys, now get the hell out of here.

2009-02-16T03:23:00.007-06:00

What a weekend. Saturday, I ended up going to only one of my two games because I injured my hip in the earlier game with the White Eagles. We had one sub, so I had to tough it out, and I ended up playing about 46 minutes; way more than half of those minutes carrying the injury. I'd have played the whole thing, but after about 15 minutes straight, I developed a searing pain in my shins, so I sat off for a couple minutes.

The other two minutes were due to a yellow card. My team's captain told me to "get that number 3". He ran top speed at me not 5 seconds later, and I gave him one fuck of a shin-to-shin. I have hard shell shin pads, and we both fell, if that gives you any idea on how hard the hit was. I did swing a little, yes, and definitely deserved the card. I was more or less doing it for the two-minute break... And because I'm impressionable.

Yellow card.

Before that, I had been pushed into the boards, prompting a yellow to the assailant. I suppose I hit my hip, because I think I received a minor contusion of the right gluteus maximus.

In other words, I hit the muscle on the back of my right hip. This hurt (and still does) quite a bit, but got much better overnight.

We only ended up losing that one 4-0, which was pretty good.

Much to my chagrin, I ended up missing the second game of that day, 10 hours later, with AFC Soccer. This was a sacrifice I was willing to make, as I assumed we were ill-prepared for the Team Gigantic game today, hearing from the manager that "everybody's gone for that game". This included our ~~prima donna~~ top scorer, Jay.

The manager, before she left, was pretty taciturn about who would and wouldn't be around for the game, so I attended with the idea that I'd play if absolutely required (I estimated having 5 guys, so one outfield substitute minus the goalie). I sorted the team out before the match, and got everything rolling. We hit full stride quickly, and I felt fantastic while playing. We put one in the net thanks to Adrian, and then shortly after, he set me up for our second, which was quite a stroke of luck. I shot on target to the near post from a sharp angle, however the goalie tipped it slightly off-course. It still remained roughly on course, but it no longer headed into the small space of net that I had planned for it to go in. It hit the wall, bounced off the goalie's back, and rolled in.

If we had hit full stride before, we were really hitting extreme stride now. When I was on (playing midfield), we had not conceded a goal the entire game, and we had a deluge of shots going at their net. We passed incredibly, and at one point I almost nailed a left-footed volley, but it went off the crossbar, hit the ground, then off the crossbar again before bouncing out. My shots were incredibly hard today, as well. At one point, I had four people in front of me in a T-shape, and one attacker with me. With no run up, I rolled the ball with the bottom of my foot ever so slightly and cracked a low driven shot at the keeper, curling it around a player. I surprised myself, and attribute the shot power to the Sunday night workout.

Later in the game, I misjudged a bouncing ball and wasn't able to win it in the air, so I gave chase, easily beating an opponent. He shoved me down, and the ref blew play dead. Derek ran over, and I knew he was about to do something that the ref wouldn't agree with, so I held him back. I ended up getting in between Derek and the goon, which resulted in Derek throwing a light open palmed punch by my head and onto his adversaries'. The response to that was to stick his middle finger into my mouth (hopefully) unintentionally. Bite reflex kicked in, though not hard.

Red card.

Derek saw red. I had sweat in my mouth, but their player decided to mouth off to the ref, warranting two yellows. We played the rest of the game 4-a-side, and I started really going crazy with the lengthy runs, but vouched to get off sooner rather than later. We won 7-2.

We didn't shake hands, but Derek said he'd be my next Valentine... Just so long as he doesn't steal my arm-whirl goal celebration again.

It's bedtime for me though, just after some stretches. I am stiff as a board tonight.

"Fun's not the right f-word, I need some drugs."

2009-02-13T00:34:00.001-06:00

So after that depressing blog post on Sunday, I elected to get off my ass and get better, so I worked out. The idea was to start a daily regime, except on days before games and days of games. I figured I could go hard because my next game wasn't for two days. I went crazy with my legs, working out every muscle that could possibly help me kick harder or run faster on the weight machine. I did this for two hours, preceded by juggling and dribbling and finishing with plyometrics and squats.

I was still incredibly sore up until yesterday. The work out, coupled with some ridiculously icy weather made for hampered general locomotion both Monday and Tuesday, but I survived. I did go drinking before my games/work Tuesday to take my mind off of the stiffness, and it really worked wonders. The soreness, combined with the top injury in the picture (a slice on my ankle from futsal) made for a day of resentment towards socks. The lower injury is a bruise from a bicycle kick during halftime that drove the ladies on my team wild. Oh yes. It even went off the crossbar, and yes, I played it off like I meant to.

I just realized how much the top picture makes it look like I harm myself.

I played about an hour and a half, scoring one goal in a losing effort and none in a winning effort. The winning effort was with the Ducharmes, and we won 3-2. The losing effort was with "The Soccer Team" who recruited me "because I'm good". They're all sweethearts, I feel like I'm surrounded by kids while playing with them though, in a good way, because they're in awe of my moves. It's funny, really. Throughout the night I had a few nice passes and such, and the one goal I did get was your typical rebound smash in.

More recently, I'm finally done my exams, now I have a fantastic week long break put in place by universities across the land so I don't kill myself out of loneliness or stress. Sort of morbid, but a fantastic idea anyways.

I played Squash tonight, winning 11-4. Tomorrow, it's legs and relaxation.

You know that fucking guy who waves his hands around, with all the instruments?

2009-02-08T00:51:00.006-06:00

I have been so tired lately, requiring ten hours of sleep at least. These are nights that I don't play, either. Friday I was pretty good, but Saturday I was particularly lethargic, most likely because of the game Friday.

That game was a Team Gigantic game, and I ended up playing defense. I had a remarkable game in many aspects: I was beating people, attacking dangerously, but defending well as well. I set up our team's only goal by feeding it through a goalie and defender to an open Derek in front of the net (but don't ask me what I was doing all the way up there), and unfortunately was able to do nothing about the three goals that came against us when I wasn't on. I had one shot, which was from range and hit on the first shot. The shot curved and then just hit the inside of one of the posts, ricocheting out.

I went to the Edwards' for the night and fell asleep at four. Keeley woke me up at seven for snowboarding, but it turned out to be too cold. I went back to sleep for another three hours. Perhaps that had something to do with playing terribly yesterday.

The first game was a Fury game. We won 7-3, but I missed boatloads of chances, and scored twice, playing forward. My first goal was strange, I was a few feet from the goal, with a mostly open net. I put the ball onto my right foot with my left, but the ball was in the air. The best way to describe what happened next, when the ball got to my right foot was that I scooped and flicked it into the net. Strange. My second goal was self-made, with a steal that, with a little roll-the-ball-behind-me-but-towards-their-net move turned into a breakaway.

In the AFC Soccer game, I was playing terribly. At one point I was taking an indirect kick and I miss-kicked it, giving the other team a 2-on-1. They scored, and were up 6-3 at half. I felt pretty bad, and the other guys were angry at me. Thankfully it was only momentarily, but I still sat off the second half. We ended up winning 9-8, with no thanks to me. We all decided to go for pizza after the post-game chat, the highlight of which was this:

"You know that fucking guy who waves his hands around, with all the instruments? The maestro?"

Courtesy Jahan, of course. I don't know what he was getting at.

While we're on the subject of funny quotes, a few weeks back, I forgot to mention one of Mustafa's:

"You seemed a little sluggish out there, did you fuck your girl before you came?"

Funny in itself, but to add to it, my dad was standing nearby, struggling to keep a straight face when he heard this.

During pizza, Jahan kept trying to explain that the system was just not working for me, and the guys were really nice about the whole thing, trying to externalize the problem, but I know that I need a full night's sleep, and to work on my touch. As well, I need to stop panicking when I play with them. They really haven't seen me at my best yet, I think. I am still learning, though. For example, Mustafa (Fury) told me to fake some lunges for the ball while defending, because it throws people off. I've seen this done before, but it never occurred to try it.

As far as Jahan's system goes, he was the midfielder to only defend when we have a third man running to attack us. Other than that, he wants a centralized midfielder, structured passing play, and quick counterattacks, all in a 2-1-2 formation.

I think, when I get back with the Eagles (I missed one of their games tonight, they lost 6-1), things will change, in that I'm going to start carrying the ball more.

It's funny though; right when you think you're improving, a bad game sets you back.

"Always my finger hurts after the game." "Why?" "My Shoes"

2009-02-04T23:00:00.004-06:00

Sunday's (half) game with Fury was uneventful, I ended up reffing for half, switching off for Johan at half time. I had to go to the bathroom for the first half, so I really didn't play as well as I could've. We tied that game.

Tuesday, I have a problem - two of my rec league teams were playing each other, the Ducharmes (formerly known as the Wife Beaters), and the Yellow Dogs. I played with the Yellow Dogs because the Yellow Dogs only had two men without me, and the Ducharmes had what I thought was enough players and quality to win. That being said, I didn't want the Yellow Dogs to win, but the Ducharmes are easily the more competitive of the two teams.

It was a very routine match, the neatest part from me was a breakaway-volley that went off the top post. I could not find anything like this on Youtube.

The Yellow Dogs scraped by 1-0. I played 45 minutes, and got yelled at for calling the Yellow Dogs' fouls. I'm not sure what one expects when he puts his shoulders into everybody, but it apparently was not that.

"Barbara Loth is a powerful girl, don't underestimate her"

2009-01-31T13:43:00.006-06:00

There was some good old double-header action last night after a long day.

The first game was with Team Gigantic, and we played at 6. The opposition was a team of long-standing friendly rivals, Sabres. Normally we win in these competitions. If you couldn't have guessed, we lost, 8-5. The rivalry began when I met one of my high school footie pals (also named Greg) in the Coverall league. Usually we end up beating them, however, tonight was an exception. They've put a good team forward this season, and they're atop the league, while we've scraped to 5th (of eight). At least we're in the playoff spots?

I opened our scoring with two goals, and at half, we were tied at three. My first goal involved a pass reception at the top of the box, beating one man with a fake shot and then burying it in the far post bottom-corner. I recieved plaudits from my team for that one. It very, very vaguely resembled this:

My second goal was also nice, it was a Gerrard-esque shot from a relatively longer range than most goals come from (12 yards in indoor is a lot), that was the finishing touch on a long run from our half. I placed the ball into close to the same spot on far post. It was somewhat akin to this:

I assisted Dan as well, and had a few good defensive plays (except for when I let the guy head in from a corner unmarked - I've really got to stop ballwatching and standing still when the ball comes at me).

At the end of the game, Greg (of Sabres, mind you) had said that I have improved since high school. Funny, I think he's said this a few times to me. In response, I mentioned that I would have hoped so. I like these comments. I also like when they warn you in game that you need to cover my right foot - I can shoot with my left, but not well. It's too bad that when I heard somebody say that about me, I was in the process of passing it - I'd have like to have shot with my left. I also schooled him at one point with what could only be called a backwards elastico (I faced right, dragged the ball back a little, then shot by him in his right with it), and gave him some good old burnings with my speed at a couple points.

In the second game, with AFC Soccer, I arrived slightly late to a near-empty dressing room. We had 8 men for that game, against a team of at least 18. Needless to say, we got exhausted and lost 5-1. In spite of the scoreline and my fatigue, I really stepped up a level from the last time I played with AFC Soccer. I felt more liberated this game, making less back passes and running with the ball more. At one point I ran by a couple people, then having the ball taken from me at top speed. During with transaction, it felt as though my fibula literally bent. It took me a couple minutes to get over it, and neither of the guys on the bench wanted to sub. I toughed it out for a few minutes, and it got better. However, it is sore today, so I put some heat on it.

I had an interesting discussion last week with one of the people I referee in dodgeball who often comes to the futsal games beforehand. He mentioned that Europeans often play for the call, while Africans play until the call. This was just a small curio that got me ruminating about the whole issue of playing styles.

Personally, I've noticed I'm just not on the same page as the AFC Soccer players (who, if you'll recall, are Arabic and Persian) - they play a game focused on counterattacking, just like my favored style of play is, but it's different. Their idea of strategy involves beating a man by yourself and then shooting, while mine usually involves generating space and then passing or crossing the ball in. Also, most of their attacking passes involve the receiver having to make a great first and second touches, which I have not yet grown accustomed to. One of the most interesting things about soccer, in my opinion, is how different groups approach the game, and how each soccer player is fundamentally different.

Now off to a Fury game. I had to draft a couple players, but could only find one. I hope my team's not angry...

But who am I trying to kid.

I gave him the Walker Special - I backpedaled while punching him in the skull

2009-01-30T00:57:00.002-06:00

If there was such a thing to an antecedent to a bad game, a likely scenario would be forgetting your boots and shin pads, and being required to use a teammates' spare pair of shoes and knee pads as shin guards. This was last night for me. The Wheagles (White Eagles) and I had three on the bench too, so we didn't fare to well - everybody got tired, aside from myself.

We were against a team two spots ahead of us, so this one was ~~within our grasp~~ likely to be closer than usual.

Writing about this game now, I'm re-rationalizing my frustrations that I had last night. We played terribly, myself included (but I'd say to a lesser extent), and there were no fingers to point - it was more of an arm to wave around the dressing room.

I played lone striker in our horrible 3-2-0 formation (yes, I know there's no strikers on that, but our lack of goals had to come from somewhere), and still ended up sprinting back to save us from 3-on-1s and the like. Every other ball to me would be terrible, and the remainder were either simple passes that still managed to be placed badly, or long balls that were playing tag with the roof of the complex.

I had four decent chances: the first, I passed it, but it was a bad pass, I will admit - and I got accused of hogging by one of my team mates. The second and third, I touched it around the goalie, but got fouled badly both times. It was only to be met with the good old Winnipeg referee tradition of putting the whistling to your mouth and then failing to exhale.

The fourth involved me drawing everybody away from the same man who accused me of hogging, and squaring him a pass while he was wide open in front of the net.

He did the 4-year old ball-circling shuffle, and finally shot on a still wide open net. He then got saved, because he took way too long, and the goalie showed more heart than my teammate ever could.

To top his performance off, the asshole who had a go at me decided to have the worst clearance ever. I can't even find a clip of somebody just completely missing a ball that's in the air ripe for kicking, but that's essentially what he did. If you've seen how they do it on the FIFA games, this was exactly that - he swung, missed, hobbled around trying to regain his balance, and by then you're already swearing at your player for giving the opposition a breakaway.

All of this begs the question;

Why do I even bother?

Well, there are a few decent guys on that team, and I do like most of them. I do get a decent workout, and I have paid for it already.

Oh yeah, we lost 7-0, and I was visibly frustrated with my own team for the first time ever.

"I used to hate eight of my kids, now I hate three."

2009-01-28T00:57:00.005-06:00

I'll make this snappy, because my life just seems to be in constant overdrive lately. The latest thing requiring overdrive is a Social Psychology test on Thursday for which I haven't even looked at the required material. I can't believe I'm getting into midterms already. Things are getting busier and busier, don't be surprised if you hear in the papers of me pulling my own head off with my bare hands.

The latest issue of getting paid to play involved two games, both losses. 2-1 with the Yellow Dogs (The team of political staff that I used to work with, formerly known as My Left Foot) and 6-3 with the Wife Beaters. The liberal views of the political staff have asked the league for my other team to change their name. Oddly enough, we don't have wives, and it was a girl who made/pushed the name.

Same old as far as the games go, regardless - I assisted a bunch, cleared one off the goal line, but not much else. I ran at people a lot more today, and had some skillful moves - I'm really working on getting my confidence up for the Futsal league. I also ended up getting hacked in the leg by one girl who I really think has got it in for me, and then I got a really bad one-timed ball to the face from a short distance off.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to do one of three things: Sleep, ponder my choice in career path, or study. Cheerio.

"Gabby was waving his arms around like a dutch windmill"

2009-01-26T01:44:00.001-06:00

I discovered something very important last night.

In competitive games, I have no methods of getting around people other than my speed. My problem is that when tricks come, they're spontaneous and only occur in strange situations, such as the one time that I roulette'd out of being double teamed along the boards.

Jahan pointed this out to me. He likes my team play, but he wants me to "go for it" more. The exercise he gave me was to pretend there's a guy in front of me whenever I'm practicing dribbling - and to do it fast. It ought to help, but I find that the problem lies in the fact that I just don't have the confidence to do moves and other stuff when I'm face to face with somebody else.

We won the game we played 6-4, I scored and assisted one. The assist was nice, a little pass between some guy's legs to another guy who slotted in. My goal was a give & go that ended in my passing the ball to the very bottom corner of the net. When I received the pass, it felt weird on my foot - like it had molded to the told of it. Weird stuff.

And then I ended up getting stuck with managing the team, because Jahan is too busy. I weighed out the pros and cons, and decided that this was the way to go - Jahan in particular can teach me a lot of aspects that I will have a hard time learning anywhere else.

Greg's Cryotherapy Experiment

2009-01-23T15:01:00.004-06:00

Alright, so I just gave something new a shot. It's called cryotherapy, and it supposedly increases healing speed.

The way it does this is by cooling the body to a point at which blood is focused in on the vital organs. The body does this by taking blood from the limbs. The blood, when not required in the central area in the body (when you warm up) will then flow back to the limbs, invigorating them with freshly oxygenated blood, which aids the healing process.

In short, it takes the somewhat stagnant blood and oxygenates it through technology.

Normally, cryotherapy occurs in a chamber at -120 degrees Celsius, but I figure a Winnipeg winter day also gets the same point across (-35 degree Celsius wind chill).

So I gave it a shot. I wore a toque, scarf, gloves, socks, shoes, and shorts to prevent frostbite on all the most easily afflicted parts, then went in my house's breezeway. The windchill had no effect here, so I called it quits after about five minutes of being only uncomfortably cold. More recently, I went outside into the wind, and stayed there for three minutes (the length of time for a normal session). Needless to say, I got really cold.

I'll let you know if it works, and maybe I'll post a picture of my goofy getup, too. I'm sure I look pretty funny.

Although I am a little disappointed, the more I read about it, the more it sounds like a sham. We'll see.

I have to go warm up now. I'm going to see if waffles will do the job.

"I don't have time to bear an olympic torch."

2009-01-23T02:03:00.004-06:00

I know, I've neglected posting. Everything has been incredibly busy. I have a car once more, neat little Cavalier that feels more like a car years older than it is when you get into the driver's seat. Though I shouldn't complain - it is a convenience and pleasure to have, say the least. Also, my broke self managed to throw six dollars into the tank and make it through the city then back home with no worries, in spite of the light being on before. I'm excited to save money on gas. Perhaps I'll take a dividend of it and put that away somewhere?

Perhaps buying a laptop is the first order. I've wanted one for a while, and with my mobile existence, it would be quite a huge luxury.

In soccer news, if there were ever a week to mention that I'm more of an assisting player than a goalscorer, it would be this week.

There are a few games to mention. Tuesday, I played with two WRL teams, one named the Wife Beaters (The old Flood Minotaurs) and the ever-famous Wannabees. The Wife Beaters won 8-0, I scored once fairly easily, by just pulling a zico right near the opponent's net. It seemed to fool everybody, and I just poked it in. I assisted three more times.

For the Wannabees, we lost 6-3, but that is not the talking point of that match. A former player on other teams in WRL, Michele (A French fellow), and I had spoke, and it turns out he was on the youth team for Paris Saint-Germain. That's something else. I asked him what his biggest piece of advice was, and he cited "Monsieur Platini":

"First touch is the most important thing. If you have a good first touch, then you can do whatever you want with the ball."

He also said that Fabregas was in his mind the best player around, because of the fact that he looks and knows where he will pass before he even receives the ball.

Michele's idea of the best player.

Well, those are two things I should work on.

On Wednesday, Team Gigantic played a somewhat bad team called the Smurfs. In spite of them being a substandard team, we found ourselves down by one twice. Derek scored by (I'll generously call it) skillfully stomaching a ball into the net from a laser-fast shot. He almost also managed to walk a ball into the opponent's net using his height. Both events were pretty funny.

Also funny was when we were defending a lead in the last couple minutes, they pulled their goalie. I tried to take a free kick fast, but ended up slipping. The weird thing was is that it was their free kick after their goalie barreled over Jay. Also, I tried to take advantage of their goalie's reckless abandon by chasing down a long ball with my only opposition to an easy goal being a larger fellow. I ended up careening right into the boards, given me a bruise, which is surprising, because generally speaking, I rarely bruise. Of course, the bruise is now gone, but it was surprising none-the-less.

We ended up winning, in spite of some good play that almost set up a few goals.

Yesterday, I played Squash, Dodgeball, and Soccer, so needless to say, I'm sore in many parts today. I arrived at the AFC Soccer game late, and only got one shift, unfortunately. I played pretty horribly for that shift, and part of it involved me getting elbowed in the face. Such is life, I guess.

"Okay, so we have a Turk, a Persian, an Arab... And hey! One Canadian!"

2009-01-15T00:34:00.007-06:00

Tonight's tryout with the aptly named AFC Soccer was a success.

I started the game and was a little shaky, due to nervousness. After I played a little, things started to look better. By the half, we were up 4-3, but I had only played one shift. Substitutions work a little differently, I've found. I played 5 minutes the first half.

At half time, Jahan came to me and asked if "someone could get on there and score a goal". I put my head down a little because I was still nervous, but he sent me out anyway. I think he was just trying to rile me up. I'm really not sure why I was nervous after that, because I had already played and was playing alright until then - maybe because I was only alright.

I got out and begun playing, and made a spectacular assist by threading a pass through a tight defense, resulting in a goal. Jahan called from the sidelines and said "that counted as the goal". I ended up playing 20 of 25 minutes of that half, first as an attacker, then as a defender.

After this, I started feeling really good about it all - I ended up scoring one of my favourites to date by hitting a corner kick with a one-timed volley. Now that was one I was happy for my dad to see. I headed a couple on target and had a few other good passes, but aside from that, it was a slightly above-average game for me, seeing as I lost possession a couple times when I could've scored.

When I was moved back into defense, it was fairly routine - but I did end up thwarting a 2-on-1 with little effort. I say this because I had lost concentration while marking down the channel, but still managed to kick away a ball that had been touched slightly too hard by one of their forwards. I have to watch for that, I was quite out of position and very well should have been burned.

I would say a scoreline of 14-4 was a good way to win, though.

Well I was hopin' that big old fuck would go in the corner...

2009-01-14T17:20:00.010-06:00

It has been a somber day in my existence. Earlier, I had gone to my first car to clean all of my things out, as he was written off. Rest in peace my steel stallion.

Last night's game was one of the old Winnipeg co-ed derbies between us and Academy. The atmosphere is always tense, because they're a team full of assholes, one of which frequently bursts into extreme bouts of rage - I've mentioned him before. For the sake of this blog, we shall call him "Big old fuck" I still have yet to find and edit the video of him beating the shit out of the boards at halftime, when we stomped them in last year's cup final.

This time was no exception. I was playing Midfield, and was normally on a line with Jay. Big old fuck decided to trip Jay and then start yelling at him, with various swears and saying it's "not premier soccer anymore". I don't know what he was getting at there, seeing as he was the one flipping out in a co-ed game. But Jay and I got our revenge.

Jay was running up with the ball, me ahead of him. As usual, a flock of people dispossessed him near their box, and one passed it back to (who they thought) was a player of theirs behind them. This player was actually me, so I took a touch, and then rifled a shot top shelf-style past an onrushing goalie.

For the remainder of the first half, the score remained 1-0. When the second half begun, their best player scored (I had been marking him, but I was on the bench at the time thanks to equal opportunity). I marked him quite well, he only shot once around me the entire game, and the shot was well off target. I also hustled back and forth quite a bit, and had a few good runs.

I had a couple of headers, one on target, from accurate-enough-but-behind-me free kicks, and then a volley which went just over the net in the 40th minute, that I really should've took care to make go in.

In the last five minutes, I dispossessed somebody and ran up to face Big old fuck on a one on one. I shot, but it deflected oddly off both of us, falling for Adrian. Adrian took it, and shot it, bouncing it down off the crossbar for a goal to make it 2-1. I ran to him, screamed, and hugged him. We ended up winning the game, in spite of having to watch a nervy last 5 minutes.

After the game, which my dad watched and said was really exciting, we spoke on it for a while. He mentioned that Matt had played well, so I texted him:

"Hey man, my dad said you played well, and that you're fun to watch because you're physical."
"Nice thanx"
"No problem."
"Well I was hopin' that big old fuck would go in the corner so I could put him in the hospital"

So now, to me, he has a new name.

Big game tonight, it's a semi-tryout for a decent men's team that plays in the top division of a complex close to my area. The team I'm speaking of is AFC Soccer, and I imagine I'll do well, because the field is decently large. I'm feeling good about it, but we'll see.

Also worth noting is the White Eagles recent obsession with Red Dawn and Dirty Dancing. I think they've officially lost it - one teammate wants to "play 5 defenders only so we can clog up the back like a block of cheese". Another is sending video clips over E-mail.

My hair sounds like a dinosaur

2009-01-11T22:09:00.000-06:00

I am sore for the first time in a long time. It was, in my mind, the snowboarding excursion I took yesterday, which was incredible. I ditched my fear of high speed travel on a board, which was kinda nice - flying down a mountain is quite liberating. I am unfortunately sore in various non-soccer parts, though, because I spent quite a lot of time in the half-pipe. Points of interest include getting clipped by my own lift chair, and getting smacked in the back of the head by a rogue chair.

Though when I say it like that, it doesn't make much sense. I was just walking, and then one clipped me. Thankfully, not too hard. It didn't hurt.

The White Eagles also had a game yesterday, against the (then) worst team in the league. If you wouldn't have been able to guess the result then, you probably can now. I ended up scoring one, assisting another, and then my team converted a spot kick, putting our score at 3 to their 7. I felt I had a good game. I had a lot of good through balls (two from insane distances that would've hit a faster striker), and a couple good breakaways, but I was unfortunate to be up against a good goalie. On the second, I had an absolutely amazing touch to put a ball behind and to the right of me ahead of me, but then quicker got stomped on by the goalie, literally and figuratively. It felt like I broke my toe. I went down, and the other team was nice enough to order themselves to kick the ball out. Thankfully, it was a mild sprain and what I think was a pinched nerve, and I ended up limping off with the help of one of the opposition's nice players.

My goal was your typical one-timer from the top of the box through a few people. I enjoyed it.

Today's White Eagles' practice was probably telling of our record. 4 others were there, and I arrived late. We passed a lot, played a bit of two-on-two, then I set up a one-timer/give and go drill after one of the guys left out of boredom. I'm not sure if that's funny or pathetic, or a bit from each column.

Oh, and here's a picture.

"It's a zombie banana." "Oh come on."

2009-01-08T17:50:00.002-06:00

This is coming rather late, but school and (still) being without a car has hit my free time pretty hard.

Monday's game was a mess. Team Gigantic played a team by the name of Superfriends, who romped us 6-2. Rachel, a good friend of ours (who is normally on our team) was playing against us, and she's good. Unfortunately, our team was (jokingly) giving her a rough time before the game, so afterwards she reciprocated.

I had quite the game. This was after over an hour of squash with Brenden, earlier in the day, too, so I felt somewhat in shape compared to the rest of my team, who really did not seem to be hustling.

I was closing space well, making many steals, and I held up the ball and passed smartly in our attacking third. How it didn't amount to something, I don't know. I also just about beat two of their best players using my patented back heel wall pass and then just pure speed, but then I got fouled. It looked good, though.

Both of our goals were Jay's usually cross court magic, the second coming before the end of the game, when it was all but won for us. I heard two lonely claps, coming from my dad, who stopped once he realized nobody else in the entire complex was clapping.

As nice as Jay's goals are, he needs to pass the ball more. Much more. As in... I'm open, in front of their net with an easy and open pass route, and he has three people right on him kind-of pass the ball more.

They probably thought you were awesome

2009-01-04T10:26:00.003-06:00

After a nice short break that allowed me to heal injuries, I was thrown back into the veritable meat grinder that is playing with the White Eagles Christmas tournament team.

I really don't know what happens to my teammates when we play. If I get the ball on the attack, they're behind me. If I'm defending, it's usually a 3-on-1. That being said, I've improved my shot blocking and defending a lot in the recent games. We got blown out on both Friday and Saturday, so much that the score was not being counted on the scoreboard anymore. I did score another goal on Saturday though. It was a header (on the ground after I stole it from the goalie and he took his time getting back). Normally this would be a slap in the face, but we were down by approximately 15 goals.

We should all have a sense of humor (Kinda like my Friday night).

Speaking of, all three goals my team scored in the Christmas tournament were scored by me.

For my first post of the new year, it should be fitting that I decide on some resolutions.

Any ideas? I mean, sure, attending my university classes is a good one...

"So, are you going to ask me for my number?" "... Maybe later."

2008-12-30T13:32:00.002-06:00

The White Eagles officially got our asses handed to ourselves playing a division one team on Sunday. We lost 18-1. I managed our only goal, and barely. I shot it awkwardly at their goal, and my own teammate was the only person in the way. With a quite audible grunt, he leaned to the side and back, allowing my shot to go in.

On the upside, that's the second team we've played where we've been hideously outmatched but still managed to not get shut out, I guess.

Though I did find it fun telling people optimistically that the score was 18-1, and then asking them to guess how many goals I got.

The game itself was a joke. We had two subs, so I ended up playing about 40 minutes. I was caught on many, many 1 vs. 3s, and my team was able to create none of anything that gave us a chance, except a corner kick which I got my goal from.

One of the boys said later that I was the best player we had. That was nice.

The Team Gigantic game the next night was one I'd say we were more likely to win, until I walked into the dressing room of eleven men. Normally this would not be a problem, for a men's team, but we have a co-ed team. I had maybe 12 minutes play time, maximum. I played the first half as a midfielder, where I felt somewhat ineffective. For the second half, I switched to striker, and I was really able to make a mess of their deep passing in my usual free role. I didn't manage to have anything amount to anything other than getting kicked hard in the stomach while running by somebody and a bunch of steals, unfortunately.

We lost 4-1, ending our hopes to be the Christmas tournament champions.

We have to figure out a way to downsize the team next time. It was nearly impossible to establish rhythm, as you were off three minutes after you went on, and then you'd wait 10-13 minutes to go back on.It didn't help that you'd be on with different people most times, either.

Ahh well.

Hey Tony, you big goomba! (Say it with an outrageous Italian accent and you can come for a jeering)

2008-12-28T04:33:00.007-06:00

A goomba of the critically acclaimed Super Mario Brothers Movie.

I actually woke up early today. At seven. But that's all going down the drain as it is almost five in the morning.

Believe it or not, I got sick for the hour of the game today. However, Guy Van Gogh was around to stand in for me. It's a shame, I was itching to play with Guy, too. It was especially painful to not play, as we were facing old rivals - Tony's Academy Autobody (the team from the business). They are Italian. They have beaten us one or two games, while we've beaten them once, in the important league cup last year.

After the game, Guy told me all about it. He was playing defense, and got scored on twice quickly. This dampened the spirits of our team, though it hadn't helped that they had far too many men to play with any sort of individual consistency. They picked us apart, and we lost 7-2.

Guy almost had a couple goals, and he nutmeg'd the biggest asshole on the pitch, (Big old fuck) who just wouldn't shut up. After he got tripped while chasing down another player, he raced to catch up but ended up knocking over a girl. For the second time that match. Which earned him a yellow card and two minutes in the box where Big old fuck jeered at him. Guy got a bit snarky, but mildly, and not noticeably.

Guy had a bad game. Maybe it was the jet (?) lag, coming from Austria and all. He also tells me that he has a new rival, in the form of Tony's Academy Autobody, the team. I know, it makes little sense. At least he meg'd that guy.

Tomorrow he's in Australia for an "Australian Super Cup" game against the "Brisbane People". Sometimes I think he makes these things up. Apparently, Austrian teams are allowed to participate in the Australian competitions, because of the similarity in country names. Who knew.

At any rate, we've to go do the usual jeering at Tony's Academy Autobody (the store) some time soon. It's a tradition. I'll have to take Stephen and Carissa before they leave to return to Ontario in a few days.

Maybe you should worry a little more (Maybe you should drink a little less)

2008-12-25T08:30:00.008-06:00

My dreams are all extremely weird. I had one zombie dream a night back, and tonight it was ghosts in a setting that could be straight from a bad show on the Showcase television network.

And then a week ago, I had a dream where I was being attacked by these miniature yeti-like creatures.

A few days ago I did hours of work on my left foot, turning, and ball control. I feel a lot more comfortable on my left now.

Yesterday both Team Gigantic and the White Eagles played. The Team Gigantic game went well, I played defender, switching off with Jay. I felt I did a lot of work, making a lot of very forward runs. I assisted a goal that looked a lot like the first goal and somewhat like three of the other four Manchester City goals, take a look here. If you didn't see the game, you missed a good one.

I made a lot of other forward runs like that, occasionally getting caught up. When I was on, however, nobody scored on us, and we ended up winning the game 7-2. In the dying seconds, one of their teammates had a breakaway, and by the time he was in our attacking third, he was already ten meters or so ahead of me, as I had ran up with the ball not a moment before. I chased at full speed, and ended up hitting the ball away from him and then turning around and taking it to the other end, completely screwing up a pass to Stephen. It was fun, though. Especially to play with Carissa and Stephen again.

The Eagles game was ten minutes after the end of the other, and on a different field, so I was a bit late. I arrived ten minutes from half time to the White Eagles game, and we were down 7-0. We finished the game with a 9-1 loss, according to the scoreboard, but I think the timekeeper fudged it down a couple goals. I did manage to score with my left foot, and I was able to dribble around a few of their players. They were a decent team with a lot of combination play, a couple really good players, and excellent movement off the ball, and my team had a bad tendancy not to mark goalside. A lot.

My goal was one that would've been frustrating had I not got it, I headed a long cross just wide, off the boards, then trapped it on my left foot a couple meters from goal. It took a second, but I fired it with my left foot and in. It kinda felt like I had an overly long time to take the shot, their defense probably slackened up on me a bit, though I don't doubt that they'd have wanted the shutout.

If the dying seconds of this game, there was a 2-1 on our net, so I raced back and cut out the pass, vaguely similar to what I had done earlier that night. I ran in the corner for the ball with some guy, he ran in pretty hard too, and we collided and both hit the boards. I felt it was intentional, but it may've not been. We both went down, I hit my hand against the boards really hard, and from the sounds of it, he pinched a nerve. I didn't like this guy for showboating around my teammates already, so I was kind of angry about it. I didn't check to see if he was good, and looking back on it, I should've.

But everybody had fun.

I was sent here to spy on god

2008-12-23T05:38:00.010-06:00

If you're wondering about today's title, about a week ago, an older homeless-looking fellow of "66 years and 4 months" came into the bookstore that I work at and began ranting about how god is actually the devil and that he was sent to spy on Him. He proceeded to buy a highlighter and then tell me about how he wasn't crazy. To each his own as far as regilious viewpoints go, but this guy was certainly out there.

I slept in for a game today. I actually slept for over 12 hours, probably because I had very little sleep the night before. The game was at 6 PM. I'm talking post meridiem here. I woke up at 6:15 and tried to catch what I could of it. I missed sign in, so I was out of luck. They lost 8-2.

Then I tried to make it to a game for my co-ed team's B-team. I got there, and began suiting up, as we had one male substitute. Unfortunately, my team's manager wouldn't let me, because of it being our B-team, and the league specifically said that Jay and I weren't allowed to be on it. I'll take it as a compliment, I suppose. The team convinced me to dress and play anyway, so I did. Ironically enough, I got ordered off by none other than Jay, who was on the field. That team lost 3-2.

I suppose today just wasn't my day for all of that. But, in order to fix my schedule, I'm going to stay up today, and both start and end my Christmas shopping.

Merry Christmas everybody! I've a game on Boxing Day, so I'll let you know how that goes. For now, I've some extra time as the tradeoff for sleep, so I'm going to wash in my brand new pomegranate and mango soap.

And yes, I am as excited for that as you are.

Bend it like Bentham

2008-12-22T04:37:00.008-06:00

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/players/stats?id=4780&&cc=5901

(In case you're not in the know.)

Practice today was alright, but I arrived late because my shoes had broke the night before. I picked up a new pair of Nike Tiempos, shown below.

These are the spitting image of my new shoes, except mine are for a hard surface as opposed to turf. Also, mine are beige instead of white. I quite like both the look and feel of them.

After picked up my shoes, I headed to a nearby White Eagles practice. As always, everybody was scrimaging. About five people from the White Eagles were there, and they made up one team. The other team was somes guests we have playing in the Christmas tournament. I played on that team.

I scored a small bagfull (including one where I actually out-muscled somebody, which never happens), and eventually we did the typical "last goal wins" to finish the practice. One guy, one my team, got a moderately hard shot in the region, and went down. We finished the game, and as everybody left the court, the guy was at the shooter's throat. I separated them.

Then after, while getting dressed, the went at it again. I separated them once more, and told them not to back talk. They did anyways, so I gave up. They even wanted to take it outside. Jesus. I thought we were on the same team. I don't think they ever did.

In the shooter's defense, I think that other guy took it a bit far, and the shooter was just standing up to his aggresion. A general tip; never to beat the tar out of the team manager. I wouldn't be surprised if he were axed for the Christmas tournament. At all.

I arrived at the Team Gigantic game jut a couple minutes early to a relatively barren dressing room. We started the game with one sub, but our rank eventually grew. I ended up scoring on a pretty nice volley, but we still lost 3-2. Yet again, another team we could've beat. I came close to tying the game up when I held off another guy and had a shot, but my angle was too sharp and it was unfortunately saved. I had a really good game though, I felt that my vision for passing was fantastic today, as well as shot blocking. For the first time, I'm seeing improvement.

I think a lot of this is due to the amount that I've been playing, and partially to Fury. Those guys have taught me bucketloads.

Though I didn't show much improvement when I took a very scoreable free-kick and wasted it, failing to bend it like Bentham.

I'll yell at who I want when I'm driving this car

2008-12-21T02:35:00.005-06:00

My sleeping schedule can be officially considered messed up. Now that school's over, I'm getting the proper amount of sleep, but I'm sleeping from mid-morning to suppertime, and I can't seem to fix it. Maybe one of these days.

Today we had a game that I didn't hear about until 5:30, when I woke up. Jahan called to tell me we had a game pushed backwards a day, to today at 6:30. I had no equipment, so I ran home from Keeley and Alaina's house, where I am housesitting, and got some. I was late, but still ended up playing a lot. I assisted a goal and did some other things, etcetera, etcetera. I need to work on my defensive positioning, though, I think. I let some passes occur that shouldn't have, but I'm still not sure about our defensive system. I often pick up the man on the left attacking, but when the ball goes to the centre, I try to mark that too. There's too much confusion to whether we're doing zone or man marking, as well.

After the game, I met some of the people on good old AFC Soccer, including my strike partner, Ehsan, who I was playing against. I thought the invite had just been to that one game (which I missed), but turns out I'm on board permanently now. Cool, I guess I should figure out when the next game is. I'll do that right now. Oh, 9:30 January 5th. Excellent. That's... Seven teams? I'm having trouble keeping track, honestly. Flood Minotaurs, Balls in the Ayer, The Beans, Team Gigantic, Fury, AFC Soccer, and White Eagles. Let's not forget the occasional standing in for Creepers and Wannabees with the Winnipeg Rec League. Still, oddly, it's not enough.

Tomorrow's game with Team Gigantic is at 6:00, and then I think I'll head home for a bit. I have a practice before that though, at 3 for the White Eagles.

Wow, that might've been the entry that took the most time to write so far. Course, it'd have been quicker had I not watched a movie and played rock band.

I signed up as Dr. Sergei McButters

2008-12-18T02:04:00.006-06:00

Tuesday night, I ended up working for four hours, and playing soccer for two of them. This was fun but exhausting, as I had two and a half hours or so of sleep the night before. The Beans lost 5-3, and I had to play a lot of defense. The Creepers (Mike's team), the next team I played for, lost 4-2, but I scored one and then set the other goal up. The set up was actually nicer than my first goal, which was a gift by all accounts. The goal involved me just running at a loose ball in front of their net, and none of their defenders attacked me. We were attacking with 2 against 1, and I drew the defender and the goalie at me. I then passed it for my partner right in front of the net. At another point that game, I wiggled through three people with the ball, Jay-style. It was pretty nice. And some girl fouled me pretty viciously in the box, but as ref, I can't call things done to myself, it's just not in the cards. The foul involved me re-injuring my toe, but it's healing faster and faster every time I re-injure it, thanks to scar tissue, I would assume.

At the end of the last game, which was the finals for indoor, both teams (The Flood Minotaurs and Balls in the Ayer) asked if I wanted to play for them next season. I was flattered, so I said yes. To both of them. I'll work it out when they play each other, even though I've devoted myself to one already. I could switch at the half. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. With both those teams, The Beans, that makes three that I'm officially on in the same league. Not counting The Wannabees or The Creepers, which Mike gets me to play for occasionally. This is a good thing though. It means getting paid for a lot of soccer while working. Granted, the league covers one fee for me, so I'll have to pay for the registration in a couple more teams than planned, but seeing as I'm paid to be there, I'll make the money I spend to be on the teams up in a couple games.

I will be on six teams as of the start of the next year.

Oh, and I got in a car crash earlier. What a way to top bad motherfucking year, I can't wait for it to end. I was about to merge when the guy well behind me and in the other lane sped up, so I couldn't. There was a parked car and ice in front of me. I jarred the wheel, right and managed to mount a huge snow drift just to the right of the car, but my side mirror was clipped off and my window imploded all over me. I stayed calm. I'm not sure why. I'm physically fine, but I'm hoping I can get my car back. Luckily for me, the lovely Edwards family offered me use of one of their cars while they're in Hawaii. That, and a house. I promise not to crash either of them.

I wish there were such a thing as a bad year though, because then this one would be officially said and done with in a couple weeks. Unfortunately, this bad streak could finish at any time, whether tomorrow, or weeks, if not months from now. Thankfully, I've many great friends to keep me occupied, happy, and in a state of non-psychosis.

My spirit animal is the mole. I like to dig.

2008-12-15T03:50:00.009-06:00

Last we left off, I was going to pull an all-nighter Thursday night for an ill-prepared for exam Friday morning. After my blog post, I went to work, then for coffee with Keeley. I told her of my venture and she offered her house as a sanctuary, which I gladly agreed to. I stayed up all night reading a textbook for organizational psychology, then went and took the test. I did well enough. I went to the university bookstore and chatted up some friends, then fell asleep in the break room, waking up less than two hours later to one of our managers walking in, not noticing me on the makeshift couch. I scared her, accidentally. Then again, I frequently scare them by coming into the back room and speaking, so this doesn't surprise me.

After going for a shower in the athletic centre, I went back for another nap, this time on a pile of shirts in our storage room. I blent in quite well, apparently, and scared one of my coworkers. I think another walked in at one point and didn't see me whatsoever, either. I suppose I'm a master of stealth. After that nap, I found some pals and we ended up chilling and walking for a while, grabbing food in the process. I went back to work for the unavoidably lame Christmas party, and then left for Keeley's again, afterwards. Once there, I fell asleep for literally a minute, and all my tiredness had been quite literally erased. Unfortunately, my good friend Rob had a show he wanted to go see with me, but it had already been well underway, possibly over by the time my nap was finished. Sleep is an interesting thing. I'd study it, possibly.

I fell asleep at 5 the next morning, waking up at 3. Keeley, Alaina, and I hung out with Dan , Anah, and Matt until the ten o'clock game. We played a computer game called F.E.A.R., and after a rat (which I mercilessly blasted to pieces) defied physics and threw a garbage can at me, a crow decided to fly out from some boxes (I managed to pick it off mid-air), and a creepy little ghost girl decided to crawl at me inside a ventilation system, we called it quits. I fired several shotgun slugs in her ghastly direction throughout nervous laughter, then I decided to throw a grenade at her. Bad idea in a ventilation shaft.

It's freaky, but not zombie scary. Why do I watch these things are 4:40 AM?

The game was about as frustrating as they get. That being said, I kept my cool. We were fouled a lot, and the opposition played ridiculously defensive. I made more pass interceptions than I can remember in all of my games in recent memory, but we were just unable to beat them. They had a pile of lucky breaks, and most of our skill was rendered useless by bad luck (and one particularly bad touch by me). We had the ball in their half for 70-80% of the game, but somehow still lost 3-2. I suppose their lazyness in keeping one man back by their goalie proved an excellent device for stopping our predominantly counter-attacking play.

Sunday afternoon, I woke up once more at Keeley and Alaina's, going to practice at two for the White Eagles. Before I left, though, the Edwards' had a present for me, in the form of an absolutely stunning purple dressshirt and a couple pairs of cufflinks. Santa uses the same wrapping paper as them, who knew? I'll upload a picture of snazzyness soon, but I seem to be incredibly busy the next few days, as is the story of my life.

Practice was just a huge amount of scrimmaging, and the boys are really showing signs of brilliance, such as a through ball that met me right near the goal for an amazingly well-played tap in. Kudos to Oscar for that one, I hardly did anything for it. After practice, I went to a tiny party Colleen was holding with a few of her friends, and conducted an episode of Gingerbread Theatre to a four year old named Ethan. The topic of the theater was the recession we're in, and near the end of the play, Ethan asked "Are you done with him?" about the snowman (and lead character) that I had promised he could have beforehand. Unfortunately, young ones are not so keen on educational theater.

That'd be a bad way to go, just chillin' in a dumpster like that.

2008-12-11T18:14:00.000-06:00

Last night's journey home was a bit of a gong show, though a fun one. Here is a recreation my route home, notably out of the way. And each square on the map is a square mile. I went just over 18 miles out of the way.

The night before last, though, involved two games. One was with the Wannabees, and the other was with a team called Illusion, that needed a goalie.

As per usual with the Wannabees, we lost. 8-1. I scored our only goal, which was a rebound of my own shot that I just blasted in from close range. I got close a few other times, after running through the entire defense myself. I had some defense-splitting passes that went nowhere, but really, it was much of the same with them. They were tired though, we had no substitutes.

With Illusion, it seemed like my crossing/long balls were incredible. I must have put every cross I sent in on to my target's head or within feasible distance of, and I must've put about 5 or 6 of them into the box. Of course, nothing ever came of it, but it was still quite fun to see this happen. Now I'm not sure if I want to be a crosser/free kicker, or one who attacks the balls from the crosses and free kicks. It's all so fun.

Other than that, there's really not much to mention, other than a few good saves I made. I think the number was three. One was a really awkward deflection that I somehow got a hand on, another was a breakaway stop, and the last was a tip away for a ball that was going to the top corner, after I was caught way out of position.

My next game is Saturday, though, and I have my final exam tomorrow, which I haven't started learning the material for.

Time for an all-nighter.

"Rinse the spout so you don't get hepatitis" "It's my own bottle" "...Or poopmouth"

2008-12-07T04:04:00.000-06:00

The double header originally planned for yesterday didn't go as well as planned, I ended up leaving the Coverall at 7:20, which might've got me to the game with five minutes to spare. I decided not to bother.

The game at the coverall went well though. We had five men for three positions, so a lot of the guys got pretty tired, including me. We did, however, put a hurtin' on the other team with some really good passing and movement and tight defending. We lost control in the second half due to fatigue, but ended up winning 5-4. I had a sloppy tap-in goal to an almost open net, and I had an assist by nutmeg which was pretty neat.

After the game, I picked up Keeley, and we met up with a good portion of the rest of the team at Dan's for the previously mentioned zombie-fest. At first, I squirmed and screamed quite a bit, but it got better over time.

The idea behind the game is that you're in a large, open house with horribly-boarded up entrances. Zombies come to the windows and rip boards off, then hop right into the house for a party. When you don't have a house full of zombies, you run from window to window, shooting what you can before it makes its way to the house. If none are outside the window you're glancing out of, run to the next.

This is where I almost lost all bodily functions. I ran to a window, scan outside, and get ready to run off, when this zombie, from out of nowhere, hops over the barrier and starts trying to eat me, so naturally, I screamed, kicked the air with both feet, and flailed my arms like I was in a roller coaster that I was desperately trying to make artificially enjoyable.

"I brought pot-stickers!"

Thankfully, Dan was close behind me, so he blew it's bloody head off.

Keeley and I went back to her place, talked until four, then slept until we went to a lovely restaurant named Stella's for brunch. I feel a feedbag coming on.

Stella's oatmeal, baked eggs, and Mexican breakfast:

- Oatmeal 5 gullets satisfied - Bliss.
- Baked eggs 4.5 - Delicious and cheesey, but can not be given five stars due to the immense awesomeness of the oatmeal. Imagine an egg dish with cheese baked into it.
- Hash browns 4.8 - Beautifully spiced.
- Mexican breakfast 4.3 - nice, flavorful, but slightly unconventional as breakfasts go. Regardless, an excellent dish.

Also worth noting: Their jam and salsa are both remarkable.
The bottom line: I challenge you to find a better breakfast in Winnipeg.

Later that night, I went to Colleen's "I'm temporarily back in Winnipeg" party. It was great to see her, but the low point of the night involved Brenden's Liberal party pals dog piling me for calling the coalition government silly and undemocratic. I ended up watching cage fights for a lot of the night, and I don't like cage fights. Colleen and I are going to spend some fun time together, rocking out and such, so all is nowhere near lost.

I challenge you to refute my ideas rather than insult myself and a fantastic beverage mix.

2008-12-05T15:29:00.005-06:00

My pal Jordan and I were bored yesterday at about midnight, so he started getting strange ideas. He wanted to get up to some general mischief, but I vouched against it, when suddenly, he had an amazing idea.

He wanted to go tobogganing. I told him that this was excellent, and that I'd try to round up some people for midnight tobogganing. I didn't, so it was just the two of us. The liquor stores were closed, so we ended up drinking a tiny bit of rum I had, and split half a bottle of strawberry zinfandel wine that my mother had declined to drink, judging by the dust on it. It did the job sloppily.

Until close to four we had tobogganed, using a box I had lying around, a piece of cardboard, and a sled-like thing that Jordan purchased from Walmart, where we tried to convince a girl that started talking to us to come. She didn't.

It was all truly hilarious, and the night went quickly. I got home and slept until two, and since I've been cleaning and such, but I've got to bounce as I have a double header to be off to.

As usual, I'll let you know how it goes, as well as the zombie-fighting at Dan's later tonight, if my night goes that way.

"I thought you were going to say you'd wipe my butt"

2008-12-04T01:04:00.005-06:00

The practice that Jahan had arranged today was canceled, due to lack of a gym. He had said that something was arranged, but it fell through due to the community centre that we'd be at not having any space - I ended up playing wuzzler (known as foosball or table football, but I refuse to call it that, preferring the Austrian name) with my team of three old foreign guys for half an hour.

The bunch of us then went to the Highlander, where my game would be, and we watched a premier division game with some guys from the best team in Manitoba, Lucania, against some other guys. On the team of "other guys" was a familiar face - a man some may remember from the Coverall Spring Indoor Championship game who was running around kicking boards out of frustration at half time, when we were up a few goals and shutting them out*.

I have a video, I will post the funny bit it when my dad finds it on his computer.

The Eagles game was very close (and against the top team), but we lost 1-0 to a free kick goal from a bad handball that our goalie normally would not have given away. I had a few headers, none on target but all threatening, and a couple shots, one on target. Unfortunately, I was not playing to nearly the standard that I should've. Either I lacked vision, or nobody got open for me. I think it was a combination of both, but I think my vision was still very sub-standard, and most of the problem.

I had one piece of creativity, where I wall-passed it to a teammate, and received a nice little return pass. Of course, I failed to make anything of it. I seem to be in a slump with the White Eagles, at least.

After the game, the team had a chat in the dining area, and as it turns out, a few of the player's girlfriends were able to pick out which one my mom was last game, due to her swearing whenever I got fouled or hit, and her usual restrained gasps of cheering whenever I had the ball.

I should get studying for an exam tomorrow. All-nighter time, possibly, as I haven't started due to generally being busy, and I normally fall asleep at 4:00 AM these days anyway, partially thanks to this blog.

Friday, I've two games, back to back - unfortunately, I will be missing half of one. Turns out, the team I'm helping out, AFC Soccer, is playing the indoor counterpart of Germania, which has a few people I know on it. After that, I think a few of my friends were going to play some Call of Duty, unlocking zombie mode.

I ~~screamed~~ yelped a few times watching this. I think "Nacht der Untoten" means Night of the Undead...

This is significant, as zombies are my worst fear. I'm not joking in the slightest, either, and I do know that it is wholly irrational. Should I be excited to slaughter them, or fearful with having to deal with them? At any rate, I'm thankful that part of the fear has subsided since my worst bout of it. I was at my sister's apartment the first time she lived in Edmonton, and it was the night after I had seen the new version of Dawn of the Dead. I watched the only entrance to the living room quite intently all night, and there had to be at least eight hours of straight zombie-watch. I had to catch a flight back to Winnipeg at 9 or 10 in the morning, so I did, and when I got home to Winnipeg, my mom gave me sleeping pills to knock me out. I finally succumbed to the pills an hour later.

Those things just give me the heebie jeebies. I've been handling it really well, too. Up until around the time that I stopped having to deal with my last girlfriend, I was looking over my shoulder whenever that word was mentioned. Since, I've been a monolithic tribute to fearlessness. Until I watched that video.

* - I now refer to this man as "Big old fuck". See this post for details on why.

Today's title is too explicit to be today's title

2008-12-03T00:13:00.007-06:00

Today was nice.

I hardly did anything, aside from work, play soccer, sleep, and drive my busted car, Boris, to a repair shop.

It was all so nice, I feel like just curling up in my bed right now and falling asleep. For you, however, I will stay awake.

I forgot to mention that I did something to my right foot's big toe last Sunday, probably a sprain, which put my right foot in bad shape for passing and shooting. It wasn't too bad, I managed to use my left foot quite a bit.

At work, I ended up playing two of the four games. The first was with the Beans against the mighty Wannabees, and there's not much to talk on there. They added to their squad, and the combination of that, smaller nets, and a smaller gym, made it harder to score on them. We ended up winning 4-0, and I scored the first goal off a breakaway that I had oodles of time during. I set myself up bout 8 feet from the net, waited, waited some more, and then tucked a shot in the top left corner. A lot of my other time was spent passing and setting up, but a lot of it was fruitless, due to the aforementioned small nets.

But the second game I played was with Mike's team, the Creepers. If you recall West Winnipeg United as a team I had a half-game for, a lot of the guys I played with tonight were from that team. We were against the Flood Minotaurs, a team that had asked me to play for them next season, before the start of the match. I obliged, it should be a good time. They're a fun group of really skilled players, and currently sit second in the division. I'm excited to play for them. It brings my team count to approximately six, possibly seven.

During the second game, I had what was definitely the goal of the year for myself. I had a defender on me, and I was against him and the goalie. The ball was bouncing, and the goalie was out of his net, so I chipped him with my left foot as the ball bounced around. The ball landed just in front of the net, and then bounced to the top corner. Almost a fluke, but intentional.

Kind of like this, except the ball was bouncing, and I sidefooted it.

At another time, a pal from the Minotaurs had me against a corner with another one of his teammates. This guy's great, too, in all aspects, and I want to say his name's Michael, but I can't, because I haven't officially been introduced to him twice over*. I do remember that his last name is Collins, though. Oddly enough, I still can't find him on Facebook. At any rate, I was in the corner. I looked down, and saw his legs in a compromising position.

Fast forward to 2:12-2:19 to see what I did.

I felt like God after doing that, even though my team lost 4-1. Also, I'm getting much better at blocking shots and jockeying. And i can actually shoot with my left foot now, apparently.

* - It is a little-known fact that you must be introduced to me twice in order for me to remember your name, with a few exceptions.

You're a regular Heinz fifty-seven.

2008-11-30T23:16:00.000-06:00

It's funny, the roles you play in different teams.

For White Eagles, I'm a coach, and somewhat of a leader.
For Team Gigantic, one of a few leaders, and I'm pretty loud.
For The Beans, I'm somewhat reserved, and I keep quieter than usual (especially when focused).
For Fury, I'm the young, energetic, positive, but not relatively skillful player.

The baseline of my temperament remains the same: I am generally quiet when I am focused, non-confrontational, supportive, and understanding. I find it odd how who you surround yourself with affects who you are, and even how you play.

Generally, my play style is to defend deep, and offensively run hard, get open, and try to catch the opponent on the break. I am a counter-attacker. I try to play like this for Fury, but with more defending, and much more play making (due to the small gym size, opponents get back quickly). With Team Gigantic, I play like this, but with a lot of counter-attacking. Perhaps it has something to do with field size, but I do prefer the Coverall for my attacks. With the Eagles, I try a lot more linking up and third-man running type play, because I feel we need that sort of support in the midfield. For The Beans, counter-attacking is difficult in the gyms, like with Fury, so I try a lot more play making.

Maybe it's not the team, but perhaps field size? Most likely both - I recall playing as a central defender for Eagles outdoor, and a counter-attacking striker for Team Gigantic outdoor.

At any rate, my conundrum still continues about where my best position is. Some say striker, others say attacking or defending midfield. Others say second striker, others say on the wing. Who knows.

Fury scraped a win tonight, with a scoreline of 5-4 against a really good team of fit, young, physical, skillful players. I scored our first by managing to get behind their defense unnoticed to slide the ball in the net, but I was at fault for one of their goals, and partially at fault for one of our own (the ref missed a call, everybody stopped, the ball was taken from me). I did help set up a couple others, though, and I think I learned a lot that game about defending, particularily against strong players with good moves.

Jahan, our team's captain, coach, and league manager, invited me to play at an indoor field close to my own area of the ~~city~~ country, called Skylight. I did a bit of schedule research, and that the team is named AFC Soccer, and resides in the second division, which, oddly enough, is the top division for that establishment. I like the name. It is slightly redundant, but a good joke (Athletic/Football Club Soccer) if it was meant to be that. I'm not sure if he invited me out because he figures I need practice, or if he thinks I can help his team out (in an 'important' game). Either way, I'm glad to do it.

The Skylight amidst a Manitoba winter, followed by the interior. I was surprised when I saw that it actually had a skylight. I'm not sure what I was expecting.

The unfortunate side of it all is that I commited to both a practice with Fury Wednesday and the game Friday before realizing I have two games of my own on those nights - Eagles and Team Gigantic respectively. I believe that they don't overlap, though, but it's going to be a tiring week:

Tuesday: Beans' game, possible Wannabees' game.
Wednesday: Practice and Eagle's game.
Thursday: An exam.
Friday: Jahan's team's game, Team Gigantic game

Five to six possible games in four nights will have me drained. I would have an exam Tuesday as well, but the class is honestly a write-off. It was a tough school term for me, I had to sort a lot of things out with myself. It started nice and strong, but things just piled on. However, I'm doing pretty well now. I promise to myself that I will do my very best next term. I am setting a standard of every course being at least a B, and at least three having As.

In other news, I was refered to an excellent sounding job from Cara, one of the best female soccer players I know. The job is as a full-time soccer camp instructor for kids. I will most definitely want that job, because I love soccer, I handle and can put up with kids well, and will get a ton of physical activity out of it. Somebody please remind me - I'm bound to forget. Oddly enough, Carissa mentioned to me today that Stephen wanted to coach a youth team with me next summer. I'm excited for that as well. And apparently, Carissa is excited to leap right back into collecting Pokemon cards, bless her heart for being so strange.

I also learned from Cara and her friend the directions to Skylight, which were drewn up haphazardly at best. I did enjoy the map though, with it's pink highlighter tone and "choo choo" denoting a train on the nearby tracks adding a certain je ne sais quoi. After speaking with them during my job as a dodgeball referee, my dad and I drove out to where the Skylight is. Cara's opinion of the place is that it is dumpy, but I found the hobbit-esque exterior and claustrophobic interior to my taste, until I heard the buzzer for half-time - which was quite literally taken right out of an old house alarm system. At that point, like a quirky girlfriend who you just found out likes to bite, cute turns to strange, but the object of affection in question still remains (somewhat/how) charming.

Also, you may have noticed that I have adopted proper apostrophe usage. That's not to say I did not know it before, but now I just feel the need to be proper and correct. It still might take a while to ignore the fact that (for example) "Greg's cold" could refer to the fact that I am cold (or heartless), or it could be my sickness, which is a cold. I suppose contextualization matters. Maybe I'm searching for grammatical trouble here, but in all actuality, seeing the apostrophe really makes me think of contractions as opposed to possession. If you haven't already noticed, I am I big fan of contractions. Perhaps it's the English in me.

Speaking of, I delved into my family's lineage today. As it turns out, I'm a quarter each of English, Ukrainian, and German, but eighths of Welsh and Austrian. This is slightly different from my original suspicion that the shared quarter was English and Welsh, as opposed to Welsh and Austrian. Just a little curio for you. It also explains today's blog title, which, if you haven't noticed, is something weird or funny normally said to me recently. I had no idea when my dad called me this, but it makes a fine title.

As well, I'm starting a new tag called "strange ideas". For these "strange ideas", I'll deliver a short, concise idea of mine that usually results from a shower think-fest, looking out a car window for too long, or long chain of thought.

Today's strange idea is that I ought to improve my peripheral awareness. To do this, I am going to construct an exercise involving throwing a ball and catching it without really looking directly at it. Who knows, maybe it could help.

Finally, Derek, your icey street put my car out of commission for a few days. On the upshot, I'm finally getting my alignment fixed. Thanks?

Here is where I speak of lack of substance

2008-11-30T01:53:00.002-06:00

I had one of my shower time discoveries again. I realized that this blog is just game after game of what happened. I really need to spice it up, and I don't mean in the usual feedbag or Stadtler & Waldorf style, as if those added anything.

I mean, sure, you get an opinion of the match, but it hardly helps if you don't see the match in the first place. What I need is, I think, more of an aim (and more of a drive to pursue it), and more general substance. I just wonder what to add into this.

Perhaps we should look back at my goals. They were not unrealistic, but definitely odd - how was I supposed to find a new team every year, a division above the last (aside from constant promotion)? I'm going to cut to the chase and aim for the premier division next summer, and to do that, I'll need to work fairly hard. Turns out the team I had tried out for last season ended up second in the table, and reached the quarter finals in the leagues cup competition. I really should've stayed on with them.

In other news, it would seem we have somebody with an even crazier goal than mine. Arton Baleci, the man behind The Beautiful Aim, is trying to turn himself into a premiership player in just a year. I have faith in him, I suppose, though it is a hard task.

This man, Robin van Persie, sunk Chelsea with two goals today. It's no wonder, he's got an incredible shot. Maybe I should practice turns to become as good as he is with them.

Maybe I should give David Moyes of Everton a call, I hear they're low on strikers - they have one right now, and he is my age.

Tonight, I play with Fury. That should be fun, I always learn from those guys.

Frumpy... You know, like cottage cheese bum

2008-11-29T18:55:00.005-06:00

Today's game with the Eagles was a bit of a massacre. We played a team that statistics inferred that we'd have a good chance against, but we were pretty mediocre. They had only a couple subs, but a combination of their ball skill, smart play, and ability to beat our men, as well as our lack of the aforementioned left us disappointed in the end. The score was 7-4.

Personally, I could not shoot on target to save my life. Four fairly good chances came and went, including on in the last second that involved my setting myself up for a volley a second before time. The kick was going to be a second late if it came. I held back, in spite of frustration.

And off course, this was the first game in half a year that my parents came to watch.

I did almost get a diving header off, though. I was inches away. It would have been really nice, I think, but it was not to be.

There's not much else to say about that, I tried pretty hard and failed pretty hard, with my team. If only they were not as hasty as they are in a rush to power, we really need to work on the basics. Controlling, conditioning, and jockeying, specifically... All of that 'easy' stuff.

Nobody goes on the holiday make-up days.

2008-11-26T16:03:00.003-06:00

Finally, classes are done.

As if that mattered, though, I hardly went. What a bad idea that was. Again.

I had one of those great work-and-play nights last night again, and I played with the Beans. I scored the first goal against the top team, and had hoped to hold out for the game like that. We didn't, and in spite of some good goaltending from one of our girls, we got routed 7-1.

Sometimes, that team really frustrates me. I particular, there's one guy who is just the biggest asshole to everybody. He pushed a girl pretty blatantly, and yelled at everybody on our own team. He was the same guy who hit my hand when I went to shake his hand last game.

I went in goal for the second half, and he just sorta stood upfield and yelled for the ball. I told him to make a run, and he yelled something back about not knowing where to go. I told him anywhere would be fine, so long as he moved. He continued to give lip, unfortunately.

How can some people be such big assholes? It eludes me completely.

Today, I managed to work on some ball control and left footed stuff by playing a really small ball against the couches. My left looks a little better.

There is nothing cool about having a tantrum.

2008-11-25T01:50:00.005-06:00

What a strange last week or so I've had.

At any rate, we had a game tonight. I shall keep this short and sweet.

We faced a familiar foe tonight, the Kosmos. We have played this team many a time, and the only win we've ever notched against them was in the outdoor final a year and a bit ago.

These guys always come out with good speed and they always mark us incredibly tightly. Our game takes time to get momentum from the back, so this disrupts us very much. They have good players all over the pitch, but we do too. Also, most of us aren't nearly as in shape as they are. Needless to say, we lost 3-0.

I did have some good moves though. One was a roulette away from a couple people, another was a neat little stepover turn. I also sombrero'd a guy, then got taken down in the penalty box after I had beaten everybody. I would assume that the ref forgot he had a whistle for that one, it was about as blatant as it gets. At one point, I recieved the ball in our own end, and they were marking us tightly. I felt the pressure, beat a man, then delivered a pass through some guy's legs. He didn't expect it at all, and I think he actually froze in shock when it happened.

These guys really took the game to us though. Even their girls used their arms like no other. The calls did not go our way, either, and often, the ref would forget to indicate which team the kick was to be taken by. I really need to start using my arms, I'm like a T-rex out there.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

At least I don't run like one.

It's Tuna Time

2008-11-20T02:46:00.004-06:00

Thanks to a couple players on our team, tonight's game was a disaster. We switched over to a 2-2-1, where I played midfield, and it went well (for the first half). I put one in and assisted another, and we were only trailing by one by the break.

My goal was pretty nice, I volleyed a cross and just missed, hitting the top corner. The ball bounced back, and when the goalie was complaining to his team, I just left-footed it into the net with another (this time strange) volley. Probably one of the best things my left foot has ever done for me.

I almost had one early in the game, too, when I broke free down the side. The goalie came out, and I beat him, and I was going to side foot it into the net. It's a bit of a shame that he (literally) tackled me, and only got a foul called for it. When I went to take it quick, the idiots from the other team rolled it away from me.

My assist was created from a cross that I headed down for a teammate. Decent work, from everybody involved.

At half time, a couple of the notorious assholes felt like ruining the lines we had by taking the whiteboard, erasing various people, putting others on, and all sorts of stuff like that. I'm fine with changing plans, but when you have just two minutes and you are not informing half of the team, it becomes a problem. When one guy who has not at all been to practices (and very few of our first three games) and who has no coaching experience decides to take things into his own hands, things are obviously going to go awry. To top if off, there was another fellow on my team who spoke negatively of everything, including the system, which I thought was well thought out. It was not my idea per se, but it was what I had in mind. Needless to say, things fell apart in the second half. The team was everywhere -when I was supposed to play midfield, I got caught on defense in a two on one. Fortunately, I hardly cut off the first pass using my little leg sweep from behind maneuver.When I say barely, though, I mean, I didn't see it when I got it (it was that far away and behind me), and that I had just finished the motion when it hit my leg. I think I deserve a (self-produced) pat on the back for that one.

The worst part about being critical of your own team, though, is when you are a terrible player yourself.

I don't often partake in negativity, but I think I am just going to let him have it next time. No, I will not pass to you when you are quite well covered and call me a ball hog. Also, I am not going to shoot from half, you moron. Christ, the more I talk about it, the more I believe that this guy needs to get off the bloody team. Actually, both of the aforementioned guys need to leave. One's an asshole, and one's a sarcastic cynic - both of them have personalities that will not get you anywhere in soccer. Of course, I'm only saying that because I don't like them. Sure, if they were decent, maybe they could be somewhere.

At the end of the game, there was a strange mood in our locker room. Everybody was quiet, I was the only one speaking, so I had to lighten the mood with jokes. A couple others joined in, but it was generally unavoidable. Sure, the team we were up against was relegated from a league above us, but I suppose the fact that they had no wins was bothering the guys.